drowning in a pool of jell-o
― the aztec mystic pizza (Stevie D), Monday, 19 July 2010 02:57 (fifteen years ago)
uh, IN BED as in john+yoko, not while having sex
god, gotta stop drunkposting
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 02:57 (fifteen years ago)
you're drunkposting on ILX - ON TELEVISION
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 02:59 (fifteen years ago)
you're posting to a msg board hoping strangers like u
― Mordy, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:02 (fifteen years ago)
marrying lennon while sodomized by lenin, tv on the radio officiates
― (e_3) (Edward III), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:03 (fifteen years ago)
friend borrows your external. He's so sorry about what happened.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:04 (fifteen years ago)
trotsky was right (scary for leninists)
― Mordy, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:04 (fifteen years ago)
Smell something smoky on the freeway. Hey your engine's on fire.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:06 (fifteen years ago)
tv on the radio - ON THE TV AGAIN
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:06 (fifteen years ago)
Went to work without the keys. Store won't open now.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:08 (fifteen years ago)
Pitchfork gives you 4.4. Hipster tears taste bitter, not sweet.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:11 (fifteen years ago)
A letter from RIAA. Go to court over Smash Mouth.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:14 (fifteen years ago)
Stalk hottie on Facebook. Accidentally press "like" button on photo.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:16 (fifteen years ago)
the lower east side on friday night
― max, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:17 (fifteen years ago)
every song outlawed except shiny happy people
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:17 (fifteen years ago)
- and the unlike button is broken!xpost
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:18 (fifteen years ago)
(or internect connection cuts off right after)
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:19 (fifteen years ago)
internet connection cuts off
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:20 (fifteen years ago)
internet connection
― max, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:21 (fifteen years ago)
Facebook search a girl -- now her name is your status.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:21 (fifteen years ago)
you connect to the internet..IN BED
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:21 (fifteen years ago)
meet a naked family member on chatroullete
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:24 (fifteen years ago)
oh god
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:25 (fifteen years ago)
...and you only see their face 5 minutes in
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:26 (fifteen years ago)
ho lee shit
― easiest lay on the White House lawn → (will), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:27 (fifteen years ago)
week from winning the election, media discovers your ilx account
― iatee, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:31 (fifteen years ago)
you were on chatroulette for 5 minutes with the same person
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:32 (fifteen years ago)
your balls are alive and hate each other
― ultimate worrier (goole), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:32 (fifteen years ago)
lol
― 1967 Dragnet episode (Z S), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:33 (fifteen years ago)
― Cunga, Sunday, July 18, 2010 10:21 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark
almost did this with my ex-gf
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:42 (fifteen years ago)
whine to ILX. Hope boss don't read the Guardian.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:46 (fifteen years ago)
Let friend use computer. Explain terms found in Google cache.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:47 (fifteen years ago)
Variation: Consciousness trapped in the coffin for eternity.
good one
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:47 (fifteen years ago)
stupid thing you did gets picked up by every paper
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:48 (fifteen years ago)
your fingers always smell like doritos
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:49 (fifteen years ago)
hair starts growing from your eyeballs
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:52 (fifteen years ago)
forced to lick 1000 peaches
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:53 (fifteen years ago)
MC Hammer pants filled with ferrets and breadcrumbs
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:54 (fifteen years ago)
poop sneeze
forced to move back in with parents
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Monday, 19 July 2010 03:55 (fifteen years ago)
your limbs suddenly start retracting
― rent, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:56 (fifteen years ago)
forced to move back in with homeless parents.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:57 (fifteen years ago)
Girl says no pre-marital sex (post-marital sex lookin bleak, too)
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 03:59 (fifteen years ago)
New Scott Walker album. 52 min of raw-meat as percussion.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:01 (fifteen years ago)
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..........
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:02 (fifteen years ago)
Ride bike to work. It never rains in Southern California.
― Cunga, Monday, 19 July 2010 04:03 (fifteen years ago)
penis falls off and is picked up by a posessive librarian
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:04 (fifteen years ago)
you awake handcuffed to a naked rosie o'donnell
― ampersand (remy bean), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:05 (fifteen years ago)
penis falls off - is picked up by naked rosie o'donnell
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 19 July 2010 04:07 (fifteen years ago)
giving speech, poop in pants
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 19 July 2010 04:11 (fifteen years ago)