As my granny used to say.....

I have The Complete Patter by Michael Munro - an essential read for anyone with an interest.

bring them on!

Some bizarre and wrong entries but some classics as well.

and then yer arse fell aff: A term used when someone is bullshitting

Don't know what happened to that the first time I tried to post it.

They sound more like Springburn schemies to me, Greenock's a bit more singy-songy-westy with added nasal.

The Dolmio things are done by a bloke in Greenock, and also reference the old bloke going to Greenock during the war. So it's probably not Greenock. It's probably *gulp* Paisley!

To get off Scottish things for a second, do other people's parents still use "the sights you see when you don't have a gun" when seeing any goths/punks/people of questionable conformity?

xpost - Queerhawk - is that a Scots thing or is it just coz my mum is the only person I know that uses it?

Bahookie - bum
Black-affronted - embarassed
Merrit - married
Swally - alcohol
Geggie - mouth
Bowfin - gross, mingin etc
Rummle - sort of stir..(now THAT reminds me of my Granny at the bingo rummle them up son, rummel them up)
Oh and its' "miraculous' according to this lot
Puggy - fruit machine
lavvy - toilet
hughie -to vomit
Boke - retch

Clarty - now we used to say clatty, meaning minging or gorss, but Clarty, anyone?

Dauner?

The babes?

loosie?

ovies?

keelie?

Boggin

Slag - as in to take the mick, not the nasty word fur a wummin

Humph

What does bauchle mean?

Stoatin

Hoachin

Corrie-fisted

skelly eyes

Hmm, what's a 'wally close'?

Right I'm going skelly eyed noo...I'm putting it away...

I still use the Taggart-inspired dunderheid, but mostly for comedic effect (see also "there's bin a murrrrderrrr").

I'm trying to introduce some classic "Chewing the Fat" phrases into everyday usage. Best one last series = Winston's wake-up call to his lazy grandson "haw, you, oot yer wanking chariot"

Those Dolmio ads started a craze in our office a few months ago of going "fucking yaldy" whenever anyone got a text message. I'm glad someone else was sad enough to request on that bloke's blog that he should make it commercially available for use on phones :)

(xpost - a wally close is one of the Glasgow tenements with ceramic tiling in it)

(wally dugs = http://auction.goanm.co.uk/CatalogueFiles/TSAborder/AuctionItemImages/wally/1.jpg)

As I posted upthread, it's a (usually scuffed) shoe

"where's don C this week? holidays?"
"aye. he's spending the week at home in the chariot. with a box of kleenex and a tub of cold cream."

has anyone mentioned havering yet? i surprised myself today by accusing someone of doing it.

My dad is possibly the only living Scottish person in the world who actually uses "och aye the noo". It seems to be the verbalisation of a yawn for him, but still, he uses it.

hmmm :)

Also, where I come from apparently "I'm knocked up" *used* to mean "I'm fackin exhausted". Can you imagine the hilarity ensuing, etc etc.

Puggled or peched out means knackered round these parts. Though again, I'm not sure if "pech" (which is basically a verb meaning to puff or wheeze or generally be short of breath) is a Highland thing, a Scottish thing or a my-parents thing.

We here in Ireland use this expression also. And we say 'grand' to mean, well, just about anything really.

keelie?

Okay, clarty is clatty, daunner is like saunter - a stroll. The babes or the wee babes for some reason means something good. "Those stovies were the babes." Loosie I don't know and ovies means overalls.

That's a walk isn't it?

'Ah'm goin a wee dauner doon the toon'

Ailsa, I think you're getting Chewin' The Fat and Still Game mixed up, though you reminded me of the Stoory Midouri
stoory: covered in dust

Scottish words illustrated: http://stooryduster.co.uk/index.htm

Well hell mend ye for displeasing yer maw

has anyone mentioned havering yet? i surprised myself today by accusing someone of doing it.

I accused myself of doing it upthread

Can't believe I missed ovies - how could I NOT know what ovies means?

Beamer, riddy & brass neck.

OMG, stoory! Oor Wullie and his pals used to go their kartie down the Stoory Brae, didn't they? (also, stoory midori = comedy gold)

No-one has mentioned yer maw yet, have they? (Architecture in Helsinki's tour van to thread!)

I'm going to get in trouble for this, but New Zealand, I think.

I call 'em swimmers.

to confuse matters further, i'm gonna drop a pikelet into the mix. pikelet = drop scone, yes?

also my mum (from cumbria) has always called a swimming costume a "cossie", and never set foot in nz/aus or had any relatives living there etc...