Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

he did what he had to do now he is dead

^ tagline for TITANIC 2: ZOMBIES

so... the Mail trawled through hundreds of comments from deranged chuckleheads so deranged chuckleheads could comment on it... and I am now commenting on it, on ILX

"He went to prison for a short while for a miner offence" I shouldn't laugh really, I know.

maybe somewhere there is a board that just c+p's posts from here and presents them without comment, as their ridiculousness is self-evident

http://motherjones.com/files/iphone_dhtml_slices_05.jpg

The Miner Offence
http://coachesaid.com/Content/ContentImages/Bauxite-Fountain-Lake-Line-13.jpg

Pete, you Legend! :-(

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-10657290

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1296282/I-dosing-How-teenagers-getting-digitally-high-music-download-internet.html !

When I started I-Dosing a year ago it was just for fun. I had an otherwise normal life. Fast forward to now... I've been layed off, I lost my car, and I I-Dose every chance I can get. To pay for my fix I rob unlocked cars and a couple of times prostituted myself, just for the iTunes money. I'm probably losing my apartment soon, but I don't care, all I need is my iPod and my headphones. Can't wait to iDose again...

- Stuart Miller, Sheboygan, USA, 21/7/2010

I was at a local basketball court in Philadelphia and some friends and I were playing a game. A couple of guys came down the street and they were listening to headphones. They were talking crazy and started fighting. Turns out, they were "dosing." My mom was so upset she sent me to live with my aunt and uncle here in California.
- F Prince, Belair, US, 21/7/2010 13:17

the Daily Mail seems to love stories that combine Muslims and buses, I do wonder why the haven't covered this one: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-10728912

Haha I actually know the dude responsible for writing that I-Dosing article and I'm 100% sure he knows it's bullshit.

a mr c. morris perhaps?

the best rated comments on the i-dosing are great.

This is a very worrying trend appearing all over the internet, it is known as a Hidden Online Entrapment Control System, or HOECS for short.

- C. Morris, Stoke-on-Trent, 21/7/2010 11:46

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1296282/I-dosing-How-teenagers-getting-digitally-high-music-download-internet.html#ixzz0uWlwJJag

http://www.dailymail.c (etc) digitally-high-music-download-internet.html#ixzz0uWlwJJag

BREAKING NEWS!!!

RAIN MAKES GRASS GROW

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1297328/Just-week-rain-turns-scorched-earth-outside-Exeter-Cathedral-lush-green.html

OMG, the i-Dosing comments!

Also, the Evening Standard ran the Muslim girls v. bus driver story on Friday. Have to say that every single unpleasant bus driver I've ever encountered was on the 7 - when I was staying in West London to housesit for a friend, one drove speeding an extra half-mile from my stop after blatantly ignoring the bell to stop there, and was damn near physically threatening to me when I complained (basically, an 'excuse me, sir, but why...'). I was the only person left on his bus, it was 11.30 PM and his demeanour made me feel pretty Unsafe As A Female. Then I asked for his driver number and he erupted/refused and threw me off the bus in the tumbleweed zone between Ladbroke Grove and Wood Lane. CUNT.

Complained at length at Metroline's site but to this day a year later, have heard NOWT from them.

During the Paper review on the Today programme this morning, just after John Humphreys had read a story about 2/3rds women being afraid of eating out because of worrying about not knowing where the calories are lurking:

Humphreys: You don't really believe that do you, Sue?
McGregor (with a sigh): it's in the Mail, John, It's in the Mail.

I was at a local basketball court in Philadelphia and some friends and I were playing a game. A couple of guys came down the street and they were listening to headphones. They were talking crazy and started fighting. Turns out, they were "dosing." My mom was so upset she sent me to live with my aunt and uncle here in California.
- F Prince, Belair, US, 21/7/2010 13:17

Oh Liz Jones, how I love you and your batshit insane ways:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1301177/LIZ-JONES-Welcome-Fake-World-We-hope-enjoy-cardboard-melon.html

The last paragraph DID NOT HAPPEN, OK?

(this is the Liz Jones who was recently bleating on about not having had a holiday in 30 years, despite diary entries a plenty about her honeymoon, various trips to Italy, Madagascar, etc where she attempted to save her doomed marriage to the equally-appalling Nirpal Dhaliwal, weekends in health spas, etc etc etc)

Oh, and her house is up for sale. http://www.struttandparker.com/html2/php/property.php?tab=list&id=EXE100142

Note "The Hayloft began its sympathetic and tasteful conversion two years ago and was finally completed in February 2010" (going on to detail French oak flooring and high-end lighting and designer bathrooms), so is nice to know that those poor fictional pensioners who gave her their life saving to save herself from financial ruin were really saving someone from abject poverty.

There are no public rights of way over the property, and with only a short hack to the Exe Valley Way, the property will certainly appeal to the equestrian buyer.

Google suggests she's 5'8", doesn't strike me as that short

No, she is 5'5" tops, as when I stood next to her she was not noticeably taller than me. N1rpal is only like 5'6".

xpost, lol

N1rpal is only like 5'6".

His whole "MAN IS THE DOMINANT HUNTER" schtick suddenly make a lot more sense.

Either way I am mad conflicted about living in a world where I can type 'liz jones height' into Google and get any sort of answer let alone a correct one

No, you can explain N1rpal - as numerous Punjabi friends of mine have done - as someone raised in a culture that fetishizes sons and sweeps their indiscretions under the rug while browbeating their sisters into family-values crap. Basically, boys are never wrong and girls are never right.

Rare attack of Daily Mail good sense

It doesn't really count though - Suzanne Moore is the token lefty outlier, like the reverse of Melanie Phillips in her Observer days.

see also mary riddell in the telegraph

Yeah, Suzanne Moore is a proper feminist. I think she consoles herself with the notion that *her* writing doesn't contradict that.

She's the Daily Mail's internal troll, is what you're saying?

[...]I totally supported my whole family, and what did I get? No education for my children-only left wing indoctrination[...]
Kevin, Agadir, 8/8/2010 20:37

they taught you to READ? That's it, pack your bags.

I keep trying to read that as a rap couplet

they taught you to READ? That's it, pack your bags.

But you gotta learn how to read! But only just enough to read alternative medicine books, essays on how to emigrate, and the Daily Mail. Anything else just leaves your mind open to that left-wing propergander that they teach in the schools.

http://www.tomscott.com/warnings/warning-9.jpghttp://www.tomscott.com/warnings/warning-9.jpg
Journalism Warning Labels

This week, in Belgian tabloids: "today, in our "NEW SUPER BACTERIA WILL KILL US ALL" section: scientists say there's no need to panic"

PANICKING INCREASES RISK OF CANCER
or number of illegal immigrants, I forget...

Liz Jones' public meltdown continues apace. I do wonder why someone doesn't just have a quiet word rather than just let her go insane in the public eye.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1305231/LIZ-JONES-Big-bosoms-new-accessory-Good-news-real-women-No-just-way-make-feel-inadequate.html

I now hate women with breasts: I look at those who expose their sweaty cleavages and think, hmm, how slutty, I bet they use them to get ahead at work.

O_o

I do wonder why someone doesn't just have a quiet word rather than just let her go insane in the public eye.

Who would be the voice of sanity to step in at the Daily Mail?

Sanity doesn't cause controversy and doesn't bring the online clicks. That's the only thing that counts. Content is for real newspapers.

We're all responsible for keeping this alive by not ignoring it.

What about my human rights, asks woman beaten unconscious by asylum-seeker ex-lover freed by immigration judge

too perfect
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1309315/What-human-rights-asks-woman-beaten-unconscious-asylum-seeker-ex-lover-freed-immigration-judge.html

We have no rights we were born here!
- c swingler, birmingham, 6/9/2010 0:45

Click to rate Rating 1694

Is there a system on some BNP website to alert people to these stories?

i think the dailymail url is all they need

Liz Jones watch: way beyond parody now. She has slept with an unidentified rock star, and is now hanging around with men who take one look at her and are in awe of her fabulousness (except it's all done nothing but make her realise she's still in love with Nirpal). I think she's now completely stopped writing a diary and is now writing bad chicklit in which she is the central character.

She has slept with an unidentified rock star

Sweepstake?

She has slept with an unidentified rock star

SHE MUST IDENTIFY HIM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

Please God let it be Freddie Garrity