Best snippet of overheard conversation

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (478 of them)

She was just raggin' on him in the worst way and trying to rationalize it with babble about his up-bringing and his family dynamic. Like that shit's gonna change, lady, and like your own family's shit doesn't stink. Sheesh.

Well, I think that families that yoga together, stay together.

My aunt is a very well respected yoga teacher and so insane at family gatherings that I avoid her like the plague.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 3 August 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Morley,

Maybe he was just negotiating with one of his other personalities.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 3 August 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

one can only hope

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"When do you want this report then?"

"The end of July"

"Oh, so next year, then?"

"No this year."

"But we're in August now"

"oh yeah!"

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Coworkers on lunch break

1: It's not pronunced "Porsh" it's "Porsha".
2: Is it?
1: Yeh man, if you go for a job interview with Porsche and pronounce it wrong then you don't get a job. You have to pronounce it "Porsha"
2: Didn't know that
1: Yeh, they'll be all like "Fuck off mate - it's Porsha".

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

A bit from A Fish Called Wanda comes to mind.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

(omitting context for roffle sake)

Coworker1: How far up does it go?
Coworker2: Pretty much all the way. I've got to put my medication on it now, if you want to see it.
Coworker1: YEAH! We should tell Nick to stay in his room for a few minutes, though.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I was walking down my local shops the other day and passed this yuppie couple.

Man: "god, I havent been here since the last time we were here!"

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 12 August 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

?!?!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 August 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I know. Mental.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 12 August 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

On bus.

Student 1: Oh, what was it? ... that Marvin Gaye did?
Student 2: Lovely Day?
Student 1: No... um, Sexual Healing, that's it!
[both sing brief snatch of Sexual Healing]
Student 1: APPARENTLY, he was SHOT. By his DAD.
Student 2: Really!!???
Student 1: Yeah, for being gay I think.
Student 2: And he was *called* Gaye. Weird. His dad didn't shoot him because he was CALLED Gaye, did he?
Student 1: No that would be stupid, he had the same name.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 13 August 2004 07:51 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, he was gay!

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:05 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

Leaving a local club where a Reggae band has just played. The crowd is pretty fresh faced apart from a well-spoken middle-aged couple who reminded me very much of some teachers I used to have.

Woman: (smiling) It was good. Very good.
Man: (looking pensive for a split second and then correcting his wife's ungroovy lingo) - It was COOL. Very COOL.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:44 (twenty-one years ago)

(all involved here are females ages 35-50)

Coworker1: Do you think Angelina Jolie would do a sex scene?
Coworker2: I'm pretty sure she already has...um...
Coworker1: I bet she would.
Coworker2: That's what I'm saying, I think she has, I've SEEN it.
Coworker1: I bet she'd do a three-way.
Coworker2: ORIGINAL SIN! That's what it was called.
Coworker1: I bet she'd do a sex-scene with her brother.
Coworker2: You need to stop thinking about this for a second.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Wellington Airport

mother: Yes, all good reporters use pencils.
daughter: what do bad reporters use then?
mother: ...biros

― rainy (rainy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

Let's revive this one, too.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Best snippet of overheard convo was probably heard by other people.

My mum and I were walking the dog and talking about how we'd off my father (semi-jokingly)...walked around a hill and there were a bunch of people sitting there looking a bit stunned.

Ah well.

― papa november (papa november), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

You should have jokingly killed them.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I could've been the hilltop strangler

― papa november (papa november), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Screamed at top of voice in swank restaurant by old woman:

YOU CUNT!!!!

Two uncomfortable seconds later:

...do that! You cunt. You simply cunt. I don't beleef you.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

The Archel one above is insane and hilarious. Also "maybe the coffee is a metaphor" is my new catchphrase.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously, these are ALL insane and hilarious, they are saving me from dying from boredom too. why do i never overhear stuff like this? more please!

― gem (trisk), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

six yr old scouser boy overheard on train (I've mentioned this before but it cracks me up):
"Family Values means we're all going to die"

-- mark s (mar...), September 5th, 2001

Upon reflection, an accurate assessment.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 28 January 2005 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Man: "god, I havent been here since the last time we were here!"

I say this all the time. I think it started as a joke, but today I said "I haven't talked to you since last time!" without thinking anything of it until afterwards.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 28 January 2005 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHAHAHAHA "If you knew anything about space or love, you would never ever fuck with Björk."

Best thread ever.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 28 January 2005 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

Two guys sitting at the booth behind me at KFC buffet, in Midland, Texas:

Guy1: Guess who I saw at the mall the other day.
Guy2: Um...who?
Guy1: Richie Sambora!
Guy2: Didya now?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 March 2005 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

There are some posted on this thread

― Ken L (Ken L), Thursday, 17 March 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Two women behind me on the Brighton-Eastbourne bus:

Woman 1: So... how do you know when to turn the CD over?
Woman 2: You don't, it's just one side.
W1: So... what's the other side for?
W2: ...
W1: And how do you know which side is which?
W2: Well, sometimes the blank side has, I don't know, manufacturer's information on it or something.

WTF? I mean Woman 1 was fairly elderly but even so...

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 17 March 2005 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Camp guy on phone in Central Station:

"I'm outside the toilet just now...........yeah, I'm absolutely bursting.............do you dare me?"

― Rumpsy Pumpsy (Rumpie), Thursday, 17 March 2005 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

That was Hari wasn't it. Come on own up.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 18 March 2005 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Couple guys on 110th St., while the Gates were being dismantled:

Guy: "..;but it transformed the neighborhood!"
Other guy: "Yeah, it filled it with annoying white girls."

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

At Walgreen's pharmacy last night, the couple ahead of me:
Girl: Does this have instructions? I'm not sure how to use it. I'm really confused.
Pharmacist: Well, there are complete instructions on the insert, you are supposed to use a small amount until it foams into a lather, and let it sit for a few seconds and then rinse.
Her: Wait, I'm supposed to use this on my hair? My head hair?
P: Well yes, isn't that what you need it for?
Her: But I don't have any on my hair, just on other...places.

What the hell was she talking about if not head lice? Crabs?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 21 March 2005 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

On the corner of Madison and 54th. Two businessmen:

Businessman One: "I mean you're literally a billionaire, right?"
Businessman Two: "Yep."

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

As as I was sitting in my parked car at the curb waiting for my friend to come down from his apartment, two girls, about 12 or 13 years old, rollerskated by on the sidewalk. One of the girls was saying to the other "ALL MEN ARE PIGS!"

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 8 April 2005 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

walking around the lower east side in new york, passed this girl on her cell phone - she was wearing like chanel and had a louis vuitton bag and heels and she was talking on her cell phone "yeah, i bet i could get my nails done so CHEAPLY down here!!!"

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 8 April 2005 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

the one that makes me laugh the most is still anna's dried pasta diss.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Friday, 8 April 2005 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

overheard while waiting in line to see a noir film at the Castro:

"I love Tori Amos because I love it when the mythical slides into delerium"

Ouch! It still hurts to think about it.

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it the film I'm thinking of?

― Jeromathan Millions (nordicskilla), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Jody's is great.

― Jeromathan Millions (nordicskilla), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I love it when the mythical slides into delerium

http://www.gleeson0.demon.co.uk/sandman/delirium.jpg

― jody the country girl doll (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm pretty sure I've quoted it somewhere else, but: I work for one of the top universities in the UK. I was walking towards the stairs leading up to my office one day, behind three young women, obviously students. They got a couple of paces up the stairs, then the one in front stopped and turned around and said "Hang on - I'm not sure this is the right way to the basement..."

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 8 April 2005 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

At a picnic table in the courtyard of a drug rehab -- a guy (the junkie seeking help) and his girlfriend (very cute and nice girl who kicked her habit a couple of years ago) are dryly going over technicalities like does he have all the toiletries he needs, it sucks they won't let you have sugar for your coffee, what sorta job will he get when he gets out... then a few moments of silence and he breaks down crying. She holds him for a few mintues, rocking left and right and whispers through her tears "God is gonna get you through this" and "it's gonna be okay" and "i love you".

― Aaron A., Friday, 8 April 2005 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

inspired by this thread:

ihttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/lucynumberone2.jpg

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Friday, 15 April 2005 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

The long term in joke with me and the gal was when, on an early date, we passed a couple doing the angry breakup in motion as they fled down the street and the only part we caught was the guy yelling "Nobody made you sit in that chair!"

As such, we use that to break off pointless arguments.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 15 April 2005 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Two women [very loud, perhaps slightly drunk] in the chip shop last night, one had her son with her. They started talking about vaseline but the conversation somehow went onto eyebrows.

blonde girl - "LOL, Look at my sons eyebrows"
brunette girl - "OMG LOL, what have you done to your sons eyebrows?"
[to son] "LOL, what has she done to your eyebrows? OMG LOL"
blonde - "LOL, He wasn't born with any, LOL "
brunette - "Oh you poor thing, LOL"
Both Girls - "LOL, OMG, LOL, OMG, etc etc"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"We would never have... it's a different world. These kids today with all the reality shows and the sex on TV. Lucy Ricardo, Lucy and Ricky, there were two separate beds. Mary Tyler Moore, there were two separate beds." (holds up two fingers when saying the word "two")

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

they were really going "LOL OMG"?

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

It would have been even more bizarre if the had gone "ROFFLE."

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

ROFFLEMAYO

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, the poor kid just sat there while they were pointing and prodding at his head and laughing hysterically at his 'non-existent' eyebrows.

Then they went on to ask me "ey luv! who do y'think looks oldest out o' me and 'er?"
I refused to answer.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 29 April 2005 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 378 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.