what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

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This thread has sort of put me off anal sex now.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:31 (twenty years ago) link

Maybe her knees were on the floor and her torso was on the couch?

― Lil' Fancy Kpants (The K is Silent) (ex machina), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:32 (twenty years ago) link

Jordan I thought for a second "BACKLASH" was some other word and now I have the phear real bad.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:32 (twenty years ago) link

you know she said she was just a laidback cool non Hollywood kind of girl who loved music other people thought was weird, which apparently meant "hi I'm high strung and probably on coke, I love the club scene and talking about acting, and I listen to Death Cab."

I KNEW THE BACKLASH WOULD ARRIVE. i feel sorry for him a little, too. obviously it's mostly my roommate's doing...

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:33 (twenty years ago) link

i sort of feel bad for trucker hat guy.

I don't. This violates all sorts of etiquette. I'm sending "you want to take it up the ass, take it on your bed" to Miss Manners

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:34 (twenty years ago) link

Gear's timing throughout this thread was immaculate.

He says, OK, pray for me, I'm going in... then returns with some pictures of people screaming... we're thinking, this must be good... the indie fop with the trucker hat... the dialogue!!!! The two of them running to different rooms! The lysol couch cleaning operation with apologies. The punchline.

Too much. A tragicomedy in one unnatural act.

And one still is contentedly aware that the best is yet to come: pictures of the couch.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:34 (twenty years ago) link

this is like yancey's roommate thread but on steroids

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:35 (twenty years ago) link

AWESOME steroids

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:35 (twenty years ago) link

you must tell them you'll feel much better if they'll only let you keep the hat

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:35 (twenty years ago) link

And then you can mail it to Momus, who will write a song about it all.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

make a HUGE sign with RULES

― kephm, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

haha, EDR stole my joke!

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

"you want to take it up the ass, take it on your bed" has replaced 'bring it on, fuckfaces' in my lexicon.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

You will of course refer them both to this thread?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, but in all fairness, he probably assumed that the roommate would know what was cool and what wasn't cool to do in any given room of the house, and he probably just followed her lead. And, remember, she's the one who said "fuck me in the ass."
x-post x a few

― kirsten (kirsten), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

I don't feel sorry for him - HE LEFT HIS TRUCKER HAT ON! Come on people, it's like leaving your socks on.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:37 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.billfoley.com/images/backdraft.jpg

― Lil' Fancy Kpants (The K is Silent) (ex machina), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:37 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, the trucker hat is still inexcusable.

― kirsten (kirsten), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:37 (twenty years ago) link

Cover your couch in saran wrap to protect it from any further roommate shenanigins

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:38 (twenty years ago) link

better yet, cover yr roommate in saran wrap

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:38 (twenty years ago) link

Baby take off your coat real slow
Take off your shoes
I'll take off your shoes girl
Take off your dress yes, yes, yes

You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on

Go over there turn on the lights, all the lights
Come over here, stand on that chair
Baby thats right
Raise your arms up in the air
And now shake em

You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live

Sweet darling
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on baby
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on

Suspicious minds are talking
There trying to tear us apart
They don't believe this love of mine
But they don't know what love is

They don't know what love is
They don't know what love is
They don't know what love is
I know what love is

You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:38 (twenty years ago) link

Right? What gets anal out, again?

Just turn up the bass.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:38 (twenty years ago) link

Shenanaligans? (xpost)

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:39 (twenty years ago) link

inexcusable? I say trendsetting! heaven knows I'm leavin' my trucker hat on TONITE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:40 (twenty years ago) link

I kind of feel bad for him, too -- it's your roommate's fault, really. It's not like the guy knew it was your couch, but your roommate definitely did. And what's up with that, anyway? Wouldn't assfucking on the couch be incredibly difficult, just logistically speaking? I mean there's a whole floor there!

A friend of mine claims she knew someone in high school who had anal sex in a movie theater.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:40 (twenty years ago) link

Shenanaligans : anal sex performed by hooligans

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:41 (twenty years ago) link

a little buggery, a little lysol, the day just perks up!

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:41 (twenty years ago) link

u + k: what did the trucker hat say?

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:41 (twenty years ago) link

who had anal sex in a movie theater.

Was it during Lord of the Rings?

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:42 (twenty years ago) link

I have to say, after coming back from (what i thought was) a good job interview, this thread is the whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles on top of my day. (puns intended)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:42 (twenty years ago) link

No, not only did he leave it on, he had to put it BACK on after he REMOVED his shirt! THINK about it...

― Clarke B. (Clarke B.), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:42 (twenty years ago) link

KEEP ON TRUCKIN' ?

― dean! (deangulberry), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:42 (twenty years ago) link

This would make for a brilliant and award-winning one-man play.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:42 (twenty years ago) link

I don't think I've ever heard of lysol used for debuggery until this thread

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:43 (twenty years ago) link

Whoa. That's serious hipster fetishism.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:43 (twenty years ago) link

please please let Trucker Hat Dude come across this thread someday (lame pun intended)

but Gear! now they know how annoyed their couch ass-love makes you you can bet that they'll try it again when you're not in.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:43 (twenty years ago) link

wait, the timeline's all screwy here: did they spend forty minutes merely ATTEMPTING anal?!

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:43 (twenty years ago) link

debuggery!!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:44 (twenty years ago) link

Think Lysol could corner the anal hipster hygiene market by buying the right to this and using it as an ad campaign?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:44 (twenty years ago) link

He could have been wearing a BUTTON up shirt

― Lil' Fancy Kpants (The K is Silent) (ex machina), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:45 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, that guys full name needs to be in this thread, definitely.

― dean! (deangulberry), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:45 (twenty years ago) link

either a) she was really into trucker hats, or b) he had something hideous on his scalp. OK, it was probably and most disappointingly c) the trucker hat dude thought it looked cool to have it on while doing it.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:45 (twenty years ago) link

Lysol will become the Pabst Blue Ribbon of sex hygiene.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:45 (twenty years ago) link

"lysol: it's not just for back-alley abortions anymore"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:45 (twenty years ago) link

inexcusable? I say trendsetting! heaven knows I'm leavin' my trucker hat on TONITE
-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), April 13th, 2004 4:40 PM. (later)

Trendsetting like two years ago! Even wearing a trucker hat now, let alone leaving it on during sex like it's a hot pair of boots or, you know, a tool belt or something, is just wrong.

― kirsten (kirsten), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:46 (twenty years ago) link

Lysol should come up with a hipster version of the Puma ads.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:46 (twenty years ago) link

I'm not entirely sure he DIDN'T ALSO leave his socks on. I didn't chcek out his feet as I was mesmerized by the hat, which I think was an Urban Outfitters purchase.

I'm guessing she demanded the ass-fucking and then they did it, took a break, and were about to resume as I entered stage left

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:47 (twenty years ago) link

TOOL BELT SEX!?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:47 (twenty years ago) link

hey, don't knock the tool belt

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:47 (twenty years ago) link

haha xpost

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 20:47 (twenty years ago) link

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