Bearsharktopus v. Bearotaur

it bothers me that there is any debate here, because A) yes, horses can deliver some filthy kicks. plus bearotaur B) is huge and filthy and has opposable thumbs with which to grasp not only grotesquely huge maces, but any other bashing things that might be within paw's reach. and he's fast as shit, right, because he's basically a huge horse with half a somewhat less huge bear strapped to him.

the bearsharktopus is tragically top-heavy and can barely support himself on his little furry legs. as you can see in the (artfully though misleadingly posed) photo, he's gonna topple forward onto his flopping appendages at any moment. at which point his fearsome teath will be good for little but gnawing sand.

bearotaur is majestic and stinky master of all he surveys. bearsharktopus is flopping, serrated monstrosity, master only of dorsal featurs. how do hair gills work? can he actually swim with dysplasiac bear hips? too many questions, not enough blows to the head. suspect he would be fearsome in a moggy swimming pool tho.

i don't think it is a fact at all that bearotaur has opposable thumbs! that is not established anywhere, you are being homosapien-ist assuming that just because bearotaur has a weapon like a homosapien, that it has opposable thumbs like a homosapien!

plus, bearotaur is really a misnomer as "taur" refers to a bull, and the bottom half of bearotaur is actually a horse, it's totally fronting with the name bearotaur

this is not a name contest. and horsotaur has to hold that mace somehow. maybe he has les sapienist opposable pinkies or extremely advanced cilia-type bear polyps on his palms like spiderman. there are many possibilities which have not yet been considered. the primary point is that bearsharktopus is primarily threatening to children who attempt to cuddle him at night, mistaking him for a large stuffed animal. so terror of faceless children, yes. threat to well-armed bearotaur, no.

or were you saying he should be called bearoquine?

the bearse bearotaur has the top half of a bear, why would you assume that his paws are not completely ursine? And would you be completely blasé when faced with the immense jaw and sharp teeth of bearsharktopus? I think not!

plus anyone, child or adult, that came into contact with the terrorizing countenance of bearsharktopus would end up faceless -- bearsharktopus would rip it off and eat it!

the paws are probably not totally ursine because they come equipped with mace. and if bears could carry maces, they would, and we would be totally fucked. even without the horse part. they would hit us with maces and then eat our cans of beer which we carried like 50 miles even though they are heavy (youtubes of this).

that said, i'm not inclined to be blase about my face, and therefore would therefore not likely entrust it to fursharktopus, who doubtless has plans in mind.

god shark eyes are really creepy

like squirrels

maybe if this battle were to take place on dry land, the bearse would have the advantage, but clearly, the epic confrontation will occur in the water, which is obviously bearsharktopus' domain, as it is 2/3 sea creature.

plus bearsharktopus is composed of multiple predatory creatures, so it would have a greater genetic need and capacity for hunting and killing, as opposed to the bearse, which is part horse, which is a grazing animal.

i mean, maybe if it was squirrelsharktopus and not bearsharktopus, then the bear-horse creature would stand a chance ...

so many wrong thoughts. the reticence and nobility of the horse give the bearseotaursesses an advantage over the trembly, blood-mad octobearoshark, who can really only comprehend the world in terms of the fleshy rended bits that will (hopefully) soon hang limp from its trembly shark lips. one might suppose that the brain of the wily, jar-negotiating octopus would grant similar adbvantage to the monstrosity, but no, because it's really only the tentacles, and tentacles are not notably the most intelligent part, being just tentacles.

plus bearotaur has elegance of design, very desirable quality. bearsharktopus is questionable, result of last minute weed inspiration, subject to harsh crit.

sqirrelsharktopus would be really funny in calamari. because of squirrel head which would look at you menacingly as you tried to eat it. terrifying in packs though.

plus, see? the hundred aker wood. shit comes around.

i like how the creature smart enough to get a weapon is the one assumed to be dumb enough to fight its opponent in the only conceivable environment that would be a disadvantage

and there you go

"taur" refers to a bull

Either your joking or your knowledge of mythological creatures is sorely lacking.

argh, you're.

lol @ all this.

wow btwn jj and hi dere fence-sitting on the green/brown banana question and now pash lolling @ this, i'm beginning to think that perhaps ILX mods aren't really in touch with the vital issues for the ilxor on the street.

uh.

:)

"taur" refers to a bull

Either your joking or your knowledge of mythological creatures is sorely lacking.

Don't get this - the Minotaur was half bull, not half horse, so surely sarahel's point stands?

Yeah but centaurs...

Centaurs aren't real, tho

But it doesn't follow the same word creation rule! It would be BEARTAUR.

Unless it is Mr. Bear O'Taur, perhaps.

fucking blame it on the irish, i see what's happening here

So, even if the etymology of bearotaur is from centaur rather than Minotaur (which I doubt very much, from the appended 'o'), the name STILL means 'bear-bull', 'centaur' most likely meaning 'bull-slayer'. So the bearotaur proves himself even weaker, having had to have the 'slayer' part of his name removed... BECAUSE HE IS A WUSS.

The 'o' represents their fondness for onion rings.

'o' is the face you pull just before he pulls your face off

you can explain your dismissal of the etymology of his name while he kicks your jaw in to space.

Ha, I just noticed the furry fin on bearsharktopus' back. He wins, based on that.

how a fight would go.

http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/5109/sharktopuswins.gif

AWESOME

also, accurate

self-mutilatipon? that's what your guy's gonna win with?

i dunno what i just typed tbh

self mutilation - and apparently fursharkpus is eating a giant sperm.
Bearotuar should have won by a wider margin if that's how things are gonna play out.

atipon- a suffix meaning furry fin or tentacle

atampon - a suffix referring to a popular feminine hygience product

poor bearotaur!
http://img375.imageshack.us/img375/999/sharkwinsagin.gif

:D

i mean it's nonsense, obviously, but bravo anyway

Philip you have taken this thread to a new level! Awesome!

Also - BEARSHARKTOPUS FTW!!!!!!!!

god bless you you fantastic man

would buy in tshirt form. not kidding.

wow that picture raises a terrifying thought - what if bearsharktopus and bearotaur joined forces and bearsharktopus rode bearotaur into battle?

aw, shucks. thanks folks!

BTW I stole 'where your mace at? HAW HAW HAW!' from the new yorker caption contest.