Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

As noted by Tabloid Watch:

12 June: Katy Perry wears a dress!
13 June: Katy Perry wears a dress!
14 June: Katy Perry wears glasses!
15 June: Katy Perry wears a dress!
16 June: Katy Perry wears a dress!

18th June: Katy Perry wears a dress!
19th June: Katy Perry wears a dress!

20th June: Something was putting a smile on Russell Brand's face today and, for once, it wasn't his fiancée Katy Perry.

in many ways the Daily Mail is like some jeering moronic colleague - taking the piss out of your hor girlfriend while wanking himself off under the table over her

hoT

pfff, those stories: wears dress - big photo - details of her schedule - two more photos - she tweeted - russell brand - james corden show. They're all by different hacks as well.

It's like a daily chore and everyone has to do one.

So this page hits is really a thing then?

tbh i'm quite happy to be informed whenever k perry wears a dress, it's a talented professional doing what they do best in the public eye

21st June: Katy Perry wears something that isn't a dress! Oh and here's a picture of her in a dress!

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/06/21/article-1288239-0A20FAE6000005DC-215_306x423.jpg
Not yet a girl, not yet a woman: Cyrus puts on a raunchy performance in her white lacy ensemble - which left little to the imagination

please tell me you are fucking kidding

She has a black box.

sometimes the hypocrisy of the mail infuriates me to an almost psychedelic degree

Haha that black box. Priceless. An insult to the memory of celebrity robb.

black box disorder

that liz jones article above didn't even make literal sense. it was the ravings of a mad woman, not even standard Mail ravings, like actual throw-me-in-the-dock-and-flush-the-key-down-the-swanee ravings.

Daily Mail perving over a grieving widow a bit too obviously here.

Creepy in a truly remarkable number of different ways.

Not very funeral attire is it?

well, no, but still

"Katy Perry wears a dress" appears to have been taken over by "Christine Bleakley wears a bikini" in the last week or so, with multiple disparaging comments to match.

that liz jones article above didn't even make literal sense. it was the ravings of a mad woman, not even standard Mail ravings, like actual throw-me-in-the-dock-and-flush-the-key-down-the-swanee ravings.

Every Liz Jones article is like this, tbh.

Look, she's at it again!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1292937/Liz-Jones-moans-Just-stow-old-bag.html

Oh noes, blind people sometimes take buses and people don't want to be blown up on planes! The inconsiderate bastards ruining my day!

Even the headline writer's had enough of her...

LIZ JONES MOANS
Just stow it, you old bag!

Even the headline writer's had enough of her...

LIZ JONES MOANS
Just stow it, you old bag!

(duh...)

actual real lolz at her slagging off Serena Williams for wanting to lose weight and some airport worker lassie for wearing too much makeup. I believe Ms Jones has had a self-awareness bypass.

Hey lady, if you could bring yourself to live somewhere other than London you'll discover buses with no announcements and your bus will be held up for a few minutes at least once a week while someone asks the driver "how will I know when I get to ___?" (and yes, I've asked this myself at least once), which will give you a whole new rant for your exciting columns

She does. She lives on a farm in the arse end of nowhere in Devon somewhere where she cries about her spiralling debt while sharing a house with a holistic sheep shearer and equine therapist and feeding her 8 million cats with smoked salmon which she has to get delivered from London because the inbred yokels don't know what proper food is, etc etc etc.

Her weekly diary is full of this shit. It's incredible stuff.

http://www.butireaditinthepaper.co.uk/2010/05/16/the-shameless-and-feckless-liz-jones/

Aye, that whole story was incredible. 4000 emails the day the article was published alone? All from really poor people with even less sense than money? And you read them ALL?

On Monday, in among the bills, were dozens of letters, mostly addressed to ‘Liz Jones, somewhere on Exmoor’

The very next day? O RLY? These pensioners and unemployed people all rushed out to catch the Sunday post collection (at noon round my way) as soon as they'd read the article?

Her ramblings don't even make sense.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1278757/LIZ-JONES-To-4-100-answered-heart--thank-you.html#ixzz0t7RyHEUB

O wau, I remember this woman from her previous appearances on this very thread now! She is a treat.

The postman must be well acquainted with her to deliver bagfuls of her address-less post the very next day. She should be glad that public sector workers in Broken Britain show such diligence at 6am.

Postal workers were probably hoping that the majority of envelopes contained excrement.

Liz Jones sockpuppet interviews Liz Jones

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/profiles/liz-jones-all-writers-betray-people-its-tricky-2022107.html

Not only wouldn't the remains be washed down the drain, it would be much more ecologically sound than cremation. But anyway:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1292778/Belgium-considers-proposals-dissolve-bodies-flush-sewage-systems.html?ITO=1490

Belgium seems to be a country which comes up with such horrfic ideas.

Get us out of EU, please.

- kiran, Swindon, 7/7/2010 16:33

Since when has the DM let the truth get in the way of a good story?

Good point :-)

The way Obamacare is moving to death panels, I expect this will be the next step in America to becoming Soylent Green.

- Kala, Irvine, CA, 10/7/2010 17:27

It shouldn't surprise me really that right wing nutjobs from the USA read the Daily Mail website. But I thought they had enough of their crazy sites.

2 gay men can stay = ALL THE GAYS IN THE WORLD ARE COMING TO BLIGHTY

http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/2010/07/no-room-for-tolerance.html

I used to think these boneheaded tabloid stories were pretty funny but I'm seeing the influence on our Belgian tabloid papers more and more and I'm OUTRAGED by this DISGRACE.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/07/16/article-1295141-0A7574B4000005DC-726_634x728_popup.jpg

wish Facebook really did use Daily Mail boxout font

he did what he had to do now he is dead

^ tagline for TITANIC 2: ZOMBIES

so... the Mail trawled through hundreds of comments from deranged chuckleheads so deranged chuckleheads could comment on it... and I am now commenting on it, on ILX

"He went to prison for a short while for a miner offence" I shouldn't laugh really, I know.

maybe somewhere there is a board that just c+p's posts from here and presents them without comment, as their ridiculousness is self-evident

http://motherjones.com/files/iphone_dhtml_slices_05.jpg

The Miner Offence
http://coachesaid.com/Content/ContentImages/Bauxite-Fountain-Lake-Line-13.jpg

Pete, you Legend! :-(

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-10657290

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1296282/I-dosing-How-teenagers-getting-digitally-high-music-download-internet.html !

When I started I-Dosing a year ago it was just for fun. I had an otherwise normal life. Fast forward to now... I've been layed off, I lost my car, and I I-Dose every chance I can get. To pay for my fix I rob unlocked cars and a couple of times prostituted myself, just for the iTunes money. I'm probably losing my apartment soon, but I don't care, all I need is my iPod and my headphones. Can't wait to iDose again...

- Stuart Miller, Sheboygan, USA, 21/7/2010

I was at a local basketball court in Philadelphia and some friends and I were playing a game. A couple of guys came down the street and they were listening to headphones. They were talking crazy and started fighting. Turns out, they were "dosing." My mom was so upset she sent me to live with my aunt and uncle here in California.
- F Prince, Belair, US, 21/7/2010 13:17