Best snippet of overheard conversation

Girl: It’s weird, in my new story the main character is addicted to coffee and I don’t even drink coffee!
Guy: Maybe the coffee is a metaphor.
Girl: Oh yeah.

2. Sometime in 02

Girl 1: My mom called me an “atheist” this morning, can you believe that?
Girl 2: She thinks you worship the devil and stuff?
Girl 1: Nooo, that’s Wiccan!

"Only children are the worst. Everyone I know with issues is an only child."

I wince and go back to reading my book but before I leave the same girl, who has been slagging off her bf and his family for the last 20 minutes says,

"Well, I think that families that yoga together, stay together."

First time I've heard yoga as a verb.

G--ff! This was in Minneapolis, wasn't it? I used to live off of Columbus, near Franklin & Chicago. Right behind the morphine clinic!

Well, I think that families that yoga together, stay together.

My aunt is a very well respected yoga teacher and so insane at family gatherings that I avoid her like the plague.

Maybe he was just negotiating with one of his other personalities.

"The end of July"

"Oh, so next year, then?"

"No this year."

"But we're in August now"

"oh yeah!"

1: It's not pronunced "Porsh" it's "Porsha".
2: Is it?
1: Yeh man, if you go for a job interview with Porsche and pronounce it wrong then you don't get a job. You have to pronounce it "Porsha"
2: Didn't know that
1: Yeh, they'll be all like "Fuck off mate - it's Porsha".

Coworker1: How far up does it go?
Coworker2: Pretty much all the way. I've got to put my medication on it now, if you want to see it.
Coworker1: YEAH! We should tell Nick to stay in his room for a few minutes, though.

Man: "god, I havent been here since the last time we were here!"

Student 1: Oh, what was it? ... that Marvin Gaye did?
Student 2: Lovely Day?
Student 1: No... um, Sexual Healing, that's it!
[both sing brief snatch of Sexual Healing]
Student 1: APPARENTLY, he was SHOT. By his DAD.
Student 2: Really!!???
Student 1: Yeah, for being gay I think.
Student 2: And he was *called* Gaye. Weird. His dad didn't shoot him because he was CALLED Gaye, did he?
Student 1: No that would be stupid, he had the same name.

Woman: (smiling) It was good. Very good.
Man: (looking pensive for a split second and then correcting his wife's ungroovy lingo) - It was COOL. Very COOL.

Coworker1: Do you think Angelina Jolie would do a sex scene?
Coworker2: I'm pretty sure she already has...um...
Coworker1: I bet she would.
Coworker2: That's what I'm saying, I think she has, I've SEEN it.
Coworker1: I bet she'd do a three-way.
Coworker2: ORIGINAL SIN! That's what it was called.
Coworker1: I bet she'd do a sex-scene with her brother.
Coworker2: You need to stop thinking about this for a second.

mother: Yes, all good reporters use pencils.
daughter: what do bad reporters use then?
mother: ...biros

My mum and I were walking the dog and talking about how we'd off my father (semi-jokingly)...walked around a hill and there were a bunch of people sitting there looking a bit stunned.

Ah well.

YOU CUNT!!!!

Two uncomfortable seconds later:

...do that! You cunt. You simply cunt. I don't beleef you.

-- mark s (mar...), September 5th, 2001

Upon reflection, an accurate assessment.

I say this all the time. I think it started as a joke, but today I said "I haven't talked to you since last time!" without thinking anything of it until afterwards.

Best thread ever.

Guy1: Guess who I saw at the mall the other day.
Guy2: Um...who?
Guy1: Richie Sambora!
Guy2: Didya now?

Woman 1: So... how do you know when to turn the CD over?
Woman 2: You don't, it's just one side.
W1: So... what's the other side for?
W2: ...
W1: And how do you know which side is which?
W2: Well, sometimes the blank side has, I don't know, manufacturer's information on it or something.

WTF? I mean Woman 1 was fairly elderly but even so...

"I'm outside the toilet just now...........yeah, I'm absolutely bursting.............do you dare me?"

Guy: "..;but it transformed the neighborhood!"
Other guy: "Yeah, it filled it with annoying white girls."

What the hell was she talking about if not head lice? Crabs?

Businessman One: "I mean you're literally a billionaire, right?"
Businessman Two: "Yep."

"I love Tori Amos because I love it when the mythical slides into delerium"

Ouch! It still hurts to think about it.

http://www.gleeson0.demon.co.uk/sandman/delirium.jpg