Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

That pic is hilarious. My nose just did one of those brief external bubbles of snot.

brief external bubbles of snot

If I ever form a neo-psychdelic band, this is what i'll it

...call it, that is

www.bebo.com

To be fair to the Mail, that pic has a caption underneath which reads

The AVOID infra-red system is attached to the nose of the aircraft and can monitor the skies up to 60 miles ahead

Nice they've put the whole page into Easyjet orange. Excellent brand work there, Mail dudes.

Get one Photoshop manual.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1282227/Horror-woman-stamps-baby-accused-phone-theft.html

Haha, that's just incredibly bad. They could at least have used two different poses from the baby.

some xposts but
i bet daily mail readers are relieved now they know which way the plane goes.

But it's red, that's a "don't fly in this direction" arrow!

I hope daily mail readers dont storm the cockpit to tell the pilot!

They will if they listen to the free Elton John CD...

From babbystomping article:

She must have been really upset.

- sidestep, london, 28/5/2010 15:33
Rating -142

My favorite picture is the third one, from BEFORE the incident. (also: trying to calm someone by holding a cell phone to their ear like that?)

However, one disgruntled customer said he was stunned to be approached by the firm after he posted angry comments on his personal Facebook page.

The BT business customer, who has asked not be named, wrote that he thought ‘BT are just a bunch of unaccountable, business shafting, useless b*******’.

Within hours he had been contacted by someone calling themselves ‘BT Sarah’, saying: ‘I saw your post about having problems with your BT services. Is there anything I can do to help?’

The customer, who runs an online business, said: ‘I did not expect what I was saying to my friends to be seen. I have since changed my privacy settings so only my friends can access my page. What happened was quite Big Brotherish and sinister.’

Even if this is true (it is the DM after all) FFS how stupid are some people? It's but a short step away to "I was having a conversation on the bus with a friend. I had no idea that other passengers could easily overhear us! It's very Big Brother-ish and sinister!"

"...and then the chap I was complaining about stood up and apologised! It was disgusting I tell you"

Getting pulled up on a Facebook comment is more invasive than getting pulled up on a Twitter one - people name-drop companies who are pissing them around on Twitter all the time intending to get their problem noticed.

Ironically, to avoid call centre 'service' I always look for/use the landline number given for international queries - it invariably leads to a very sorry native English speaker who can actually Do Stuff without being bound to script.

Within hours he had been contacted by someone calling themselves ‘BT Sarah’,

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UJrzm-s9j9Q/SWqPOnCr6rI/AAAAAAAABSU/9OlP7ic9VTg/s320/label.jpg

many many xps

the stoke sentinel "broke" this story. ran a short follow-up with the bus co saying it didn't happen. then had 30 people claiming to have seen it, at least one of which got the day wrong. must be some sort of mass hallucination up there.

They've done a longer follow-up story now

Mum in 'offensive' England shirt row with First bus branded a 'liar'

Daily Mail article still up of course.

Next up in an occasional series of "Liz Jones is batshit insane", where not wearing makeup is enough to allow yourself not to be taken seriously:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1286122/LIZ-JONES-Why-hate-football-Volpone-children-beam-like-.html

Really Bad Journalism.

As noted by Tabloid Watch:

12 June: Katy Perry wears a dress!
13 June: Katy Perry wears a dress!
14 June: Katy Perry wears glasses!
15 June: Katy Perry wears a dress!
16 June: Katy Perry wears a dress!

18th June: Katy Perry wears a dress!
19th June: Katy Perry wears a dress!

20th June: Something was putting a smile on Russell Brand's face today and, for once, it wasn't his fiancée Katy Perry.

in many ways the Daily Mail is like some jeering moronic colleague - taking the piss out of your hor girlfriend while wanking himself off under the table over her

hoT

pfff, those stories: wears dress - big photo - details of her schedule - two more photos - she tweeted - russell brand - james corden show. They're all by different hacks as well.

It's like a daily chore and everyone has to do one.

So this page hits is really a thing then?

tbh i'm quite happy to be informed whenever k perry wears a dress, it's a talented professional doing what they do best in the public eye

21st June: Katy Perry wears something that isn't a dress! Oh and here's a picture of her in a dress!

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/06/21/article-1288239-0A20FAE6000005DC-215_306x423.jpg
Not yet a girl, not yet a woman: Cyrus puts on a raunchy performance in her white lacy ensemble - which left little to the imagination

please tell me you are fucking kidding

She has a black box.

sometimes the hypocrisy of the mail infuriates me to an almost psychedelic degree

Haha that black box. Priceless. An insult to the memory of celebrity robb.

black box disorder

that liz jones article above didn't even make literal sense. it was the ravings of a mad woman, not even standard Mail ravings, like actual throw-me-in-the-dock-and-flush-the-key-down-the-swanee ravings.

Daily Mail perving over a grieving widow a bit too obviously here.

Creepy in a truly remarkable number of different ways.

Not very funeral attire is it?

well, no, but still

"Katy Perry wears a dress" appears to have been taken over by "Christine Bleakley wears a bikini" in the last week or so, with multiple disparaging comments to match.

that liz jones article above didn't even make literal sense. it was the ravings of a mad woman, not even standard Mail ravings, like actual throw-me-in-the-dock-and-flush-the-key-down-the-swanee ravings.

Every Liz Jones article is like this, tbh.

Look, she's at it again!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1292937/Liz-Jones-moans-Just-stow-old-bag.html

Oh noes, blind people sometimes take buses and people don't want to be blown up on planes! The inconsiderate bastards ruining my day!

Even the headline writer's had enough of her...

LIZ JONES MOANS
Just stow it, you old bag!

Even the headline writer's had enough of her...

LIZ JONES MOANS
Just stow it, you old bag!

(duh...)

actual real lolz at her slagging off Serena Williams for wanting to lose weight and some airport worker lassie for wearing too much makeup. I believe Ms Jones has had a self-awareness bypass.

Hey lady, if you could bring yourself to live somewhere other than London you'll discover buses with no announcements and your bus will be held up for a few minutes at least once a week while someone asks the driver "how will I know when I get to ___?" (and yes, I've asked this myself at least once), which will give you a whole new rant for your exciting columns