ITV football coverage: Urge To Kill Rising

Hold on it wasn't Robinson, it was Peter Bonetti

Oh I saw the bit with Kieron Dyer in it as well. Can't deny he merits his place really.

Kieron Dyer! Joey Barton!

By the way, far worse players played for England in the 70s, they didn't qualify for the World Cup for 12 years after all

Just had the shuddering realisation that we are a maximum of four years away from the inevitable James Corden comedy football song.

Dizzee Rascal and James Corden are reportedly planning to cover a 1980s song as an unofficial World Cup single for this summer's tournament in South Africa.

According to The Sun, the collaboration has been planned by X Factor boss Simon Cowell.

It's gonna be World In Motion with new verses and Corden doing the John Barnes bit, right?

Well anyone can rap, according to Corden

Is 'Neil Webb' Neil Webb or Steve Hodge? If the former, then yes - he was dire. Steve Hodge, however was excellent in Mexico 86 after Robson's injury and Ray Wilkin's suspension.

What's the premise of this team anyway? Is it the worst players per se to have represented England? Or the worst performers in an England shirt?

Either way to have P Neville in there is pretty unfair as he's a decent player and is unfairly remembered for giving away that penalty that stopped us going to Euro-whatever. Bonnetti, was a fine, fine goalkeeper, again unfairly remembered for one bad game in Mexico 70. Carson was as bad vs Croatia.

Bonetti probably was a very good keeper, but that one performance was so significant - you were World Cup holders, 2-0 up against Germany, lost 3-2, and he was to blame for at least two of the goals, and you didn't qualify for another World Cup for 12 years!

Nah P Neville wasn't decent, he just brought comedy fouls wherever he played. Gets away with murder in the tackle, always has done.

Much worse players have played for England than Phil Neville. They didn't have a single good full back, on either flank, throughout most of the 70s, 80s and 90s.

yeah they were all playing for us iirc

and you didn't qualify for another World Cup for 12 years!

Obviously Bonnetti's fault.

Some who would could make my team (criterion being that they were not International class):

Carlton Palmer, Mark Barham, Ricketts, Barton, Garry Birtles, David Nugent, Mike Duxbury, Michael Gray, Jeff Blockley, Mick Harford, Mike Phelan, Gavin McCann, Alvin Martin, Nicky Shorey, Michael Thomas, Andy Gray (Spurs), Ian Walker (has to get the keeper's spot), Paul Walsh, Brian Stein, Graham Roberts

Zat Knight has an England cap as well.

It'd make for a shit TV programme though.

anthony gardner has a cap, but he scored iirc

Mark Barham

I have no idea who this is. And I didn't realise most of those you listed had played for England. Didn't know Keith Curle had either.

Am I right in thinking these are mostly 80s players? I couldn't have been paying much attention to England then. Didn't know who Tony Daley was either.

My god

David Nugent scored as well. It was probably the most school football team 'goal' I've ever seen from an England player.

Noone's complaining about JT being in the team I see.

Wow, some of those names take me back.

Garry Birtles

He was really shit too when he came to Man U iirc.

That's daft too, they felt they had to have a "captain" (xp)

Baffling exclusion of Danny Mills.

Danny Mills / Mick Mills combination would have been perfect

Heather Mills as well.

Danny Mills did not play that badly in 2002 iirc. It was probably the last time he did anything of note in football.

yeah he was a big success in that tournament

For an Englishman, yes

Mark Barham was a Norwich winger in the late 80's IIRC. Didn't Keith Curle go to Euro 92?

Other shitehawks: Andy Sinton (a winger without pace), Stewart Downing (ditto), Gary Bailey (fat goalie), Neil Ruddock (very fat stopper), Steve Froggatt (fragile headless chicken), Richard Wright, Terry Fenwick (slow clogger), David White, Darius Vassell (fast in a straight line, without the ball)

Stuart Ripley? I know he got injured but was he any good?

OK, David White is drawing a total blank. Steve Froggatt?

You really need to raise your game wrt knowing about Villa players from 1993.

Vassell was another shit player with a good record for England, until his missed penalty in 2004.

What a cast of Villans

You really need to raise your game wrt knowing about Villa players from 1993.

Pre-Premiership, English football wasn't as all pervasive as it is now, plus Scottish football wasn't as shite

Well, Villa have provided more England players than any other club, so it's natural that a significant portion of the players who have crushed the national self esteem with their ineptitude over the years would be Villa boys.

did they build up the numbers in the 70's and 80's?

David Nugent scored as well. It was probably the most school football team 'goal' I've ever seen from an England player.

hahaha it was 6 inches out and going in anyway wasn't it

heskey would have blocked it

Remember that West Ham goal where Tevez blocked the ball on the line in an offside position and they gave a goal? That may actually be the worst decision ever.

not while mendes is still breathing (just)

Remember that West Ham goal where Tevez blocked the ball on the line in an offside position and they gave a goal? That may actually be the worst decision ever.

And there was a handball. That was to beat Blackburn, in their pact-with-devil escape which they deserve terminal financial ruin for

I figure Mendes is like a pair of aces in bad decision terms, but the West Ham one is like some Royal Flush of comprehensive wrongness

ok on consideration it trumps mendes, yeah

Wasn't there a goal given this season where the ball visibly didn't even come close to going over the line?

There was the Reading-Watford one in 2008 that went wide.

It went wide.

Hahahahaha omg amazing. Is it on Youtube?

Wasn't there a goal given this season where the ball visibly didn't even come close to going over the line?

there was one of these too, i think it was last season though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0YiuSbBdaQ

also lolwarnock where the ball came off the back off the net/stanchion and the goal didn't stand- some kid's debut goal or something?