Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?

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Well, imagine. Feeding those abs kept him up all night.

Filmmaker, Author, Radio Host Stephen Baldwin (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:26 (sixteen years ago)

"Crystal Skull" wasn't as good as the other three movies but, aside from the monkey scene, it was still entertaining. Based on the promos, "Prince of Persia" seems kind of misconceived from the ground up.

Image: electrostimulation applied on a penis (HI DERE), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:41 (sixteen years ago)

well, exactly, except PofP is exactly what it wants to be -- ie, grist for the masses and not a pimple on the ass of a professionally-executed rehash like Crystal Skull.

AND I AM NO SPIELBERG WORSHIPPER

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:56 (sixteen years ago)

both films gargle balls tbh, but prince of persia is worse

English: The Money Woman (history mayne), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:59 (sixteen years ago)

sorry, i meant Spielberg apologist

rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Thursday, 27 May 2010 14:17 (sixteen years ago)

My complaints:

http://www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/prince-of-persia/4838

There were definitely pec shots in the trailer that didn't make it into the film. Tim Robey in Telegraph UK has a theory:

He’s eager and well-trained, adopts a highly unnecessary British accent, and is strangely coy about taking his shirt off, unless Bruckheimer decided in the editing room that homoerotic camp risked being a too-gay turn-off for the geek demographic.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 28 May 2010 12:55 (sixteen years ago)

I will kill the geek demographic.

rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Friday, 28 May 2010 13:27 (sixteen years ago)

three months pass...

Adam Levine: Jake is not gay

raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 27 September 2010 18:19 (fifteen years ago)

The trailer for this looked awful. Awful.

http://amygrindhouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Love-and-Other-Drugs-Pillows-Are-in-the-Way.jpg

raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 27 September 2010 18:20 (fifteen years ago)

YOU'RE CRAZY, this is chick flick of the year, so stoked!!!

salem witch bile (Tape Store), Monday, 27 September 2010 18:52 (fifteen years ago)

No matter how many people I hear tell me they have it on good authority Jake is ghey, I remain skeptical. The other gheys want it too much.

Eric H., Monday, 27 September 2010 19:39 (fifteen years ago)

I am, however, attracted to Adam Levine of late.

raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 27 September 2010 19:41 (fifteen years ago)

one month passes...

so he's still got the Dunce of Persia body in L&OD and is naked a LOT, as is A.H. The movie is an unbelievable mashup of sex, melodrama, satire.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 23 November 2010 19:35 (fifteen years ago)

Your review was surprisingly generous to the stars.

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 23 November 2010 19:41 (fifteen years ago)

they is da best thing in it

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 23 November 2010 19:50 (fifteen years ago)

is it really 'this year's up in the air'?

balls, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 02:23 (fifteen years ago)

but is Jake using a body doubleE?

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 02:27 (fifteen years ago)

not possible

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 03:04 (fifteen years ago)

An enterprising friend created this:

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/alfrednjake.jpg

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 03:21 (fifteen years ago)

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, January 4, 2006 10:58 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark

Megatherium americanum (Princess TamTam), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 03:35 (fifteen years ago)

I thought this was going to be fluffy PG-13 romcom nonsense. I figured it would be something of a debacle with Zwick at the helm, but with the 'edgy' elements was he trying for an honest-to-god 'good' movie?

Gukbe, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 06:51 (fifteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WatVodRARsU

Here we are in a sticky situation/ (Tape Store), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 07:02 (fifteen years ago)

I loved Moon + this has a great cast, but man it looks pretty fucking dumb.

Simon H., Wednesday, 24 November 2010 08:39 (fifteen years ago)

Zwick says he sold the movie to the studio w/ sex prominently upfront.

However, he doesn't do edgy.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 14:20 (fifteen years ago)

also why would you love something as derivative as Moon?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 14:27 (fifteen years ago)

My wife has been excited about this since she saw the first preview, because she adores Jake. I was not looking forward to being dragged along until I saw Ms. Hathaway talking about her nude scenes on SNL. That would pretty much sell me on seeing any movie.

"I am a fairly respected poster." (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 14:31 (fifteen years ago)

However, he doesn't do edgy.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, November 24, 2010 2:20 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark

I imagine in his brain that nudity adds credibility and artistic heft to a project. Unless this is a throwback to a time when nudity was seen as a box-office draw, which is kind of endearing.

Gukbe, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 14:44 (fifteen years ago)

A lot of commenters on reviews have (rightly) disliked how Hathaway's nudity gets all the attention at the expense of Jake's.

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 26 November 2010 20:10 (fifteen years ago)

I live in a tiny town in the south and this was the only thing to see so I went and it was DIRE.

And re: the nudity, I heard Zwick in an interview talking about how he thought any attempt to temper/hide nudity in this film would have been "risible," and yet there are several scenes in which JG is prone, naked, on the bed, with his leg awkwardly propped up to hide his schlong. Meanwhile, we're getting every inch of Anne all the time.

And yeah, Anne H best breasts ever

vandergaarfield generator (rip van wanko), Friday, 26 November 2010 22:43 (fifteen years ago)

Anne H. had the only even semi realized/fleshed out character but God did I hate this character. The others were too slight/1D to hate but nothing sympathetic about ANY of them either. Lifeless, cliche (the younger bro r u kidding me), formulaic dreck.

vandergaarfield generator (rip van wanko), Friday, 26 November 2010 22:47 (fifteen years ago)

Meanwhile, we're getting every inch of Anne all the time.

SOLD

BIG MUFFIN (gbx), Friday, 26 November 2010 22:48 (fifteen years ago)

with his leg awkwardly propped up to hide his schlong.

ok, i'm out.

jed_, Friday, 26 November 2010 23:01 (fifteen years ago)

well actually i was out when i watched the first scene of the trailer

hey lisa
her name's not lisa"
i know but if everytime i see her i call her lisa she'll develop this unconscious desire to win my approval and from then on it's SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT'S IDIOTIC IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.

jed_, Friday, 26 November 2010 23:05 (fifteen years ago)

lol I am reading buzzfeed and apparently the schlong does make an appearance ==> http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2010/11/26/13/jake-gyllenhaals-penis-nsfw-743-1290795078-9.jpg
but I think it's a shop cuz I didn't see it in the film. Someone check pixels.

vandergaarfield generator (rip van wanko), Friday, 26 November 2010 23:08 (fifteen years ago)

Does this guy just come off as stupid to anyone else? I'm sure he's actually very smart and nice and he's a solid actor and all, but every role he plays just seems like a variation on 'affable doe-eyed retard'.

his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass... (Princess TamTam), Friday, 26 November 2010 23:22 (fifteen years ago)

Not even stupid it's just... like he's permanently 17, no matter how big his muscles get or how much scruff he grows.

his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass... (Princess TamTam), Friday, 26 November 2010 23:24 (fifteen years ago)

At least this sounds like the first assertive role he's taken since BBM (depends what you mean assertive *yuk yuk*).

Anyway -- most of the reviews I've read assert that he finally gets to show the comedic chops he's always hinted at.

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 26 November 2010 23:26 (fifteen years ago)

except the funny material isn't staged well. he takes a nice door in the face etc.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 27 November 2010 00:41 (fifteen years ago)

Denby:

Through sheer conviction, she makes the defiant-dying-girl tearjerking clichés work. And her sex scenes with Gyllenhaal are the most intimate and erotic glimpses of romantic love that we’ve seen in American movies in years. The two of them lounge naked in bed, talking, making love, finessing a scene of Jamie’s impotence that could have been embarrassing but becomes genuinely funny. “Love and Other Drugs” has many weak spots, but what it delivers at its core is as indelible as (and a lot more explicit than) the work of such legendary teams as Clark Gable and Joan Crawford, Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn.

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:03 (fifteen years ago)

^needs pharmaceuticals

btw Jake has been seen w/ Taylor Swift from Park Slope to Nashville

(no, I don't really know who she is)

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:12 (fifteen years ago)

his beard

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:13 (fifteen years ago)

but she's 20. Beards shd be worldly and wise.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:14 (fifteen years ago)

she's also rich

look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:17 (fifteen years ago)

need to find someone I want to ask on a date so I can go see this

boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Monday, 29 November 2010 19:47 (fifteen years ago)

Or at least a woman to be my rom-com beard for the evening.

boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Monday, 29 November 2010 19:48 (fifteen years ago)

one month passes...

what a lame film

lex diamonds (lex pretend), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:23 (fifteen years ago)

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

Princess TamTam, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:24 (fifteen years ago)

like obv i totally fancy jake, and his look in this film is totally on point to appeal to me, and yet his character managed to be both a bore and a turn-off

comedy was middling at best, maggie had to act completely out of character for the film to progress and the ending was a huge massive pukey gross cliché. it could've - being generous - been a nice portrayal of a fling without the stupid ending, i guess. treatment of pharma industry odd, not shying away from portraying it as completely amoral but in an attempted affectionate way? that didn't come off because it still seemed more immoral (repellent) rather than amoral (glamorous)

lex diamonds (lex pretend), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:27 (fifteen years ago)

whoa, hathaway's char is named maggie? i wonder what its like to pretend to pork a character with your sisters name... bet thats weird...

Princess TamTam, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:28 (fifteen years ago)

ahahahaha i knew there was something that seemed a bit odd there

lex diamonds (lex pretend), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:33 (fifteen years ago)


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