I HATE CLUBBING

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Yeah Ronan, well I am listening to DMX and about to fart.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

later I will put on Vitalic, and eat a banana, aggressively.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

OOhh! May I commission an enneagram-style "which ilxor are you" style test, with questions such as:

Trucker Hats C/D?

How ironic is your hair? Very/Kinda/Not at all

What is the most unacceptable thing to come out of your anus? Horrible poo/Pins/28ft Yacht

The enneagram can then slot people into different Ilxor categories including Arndale Arsonist, Bridge & Tunneler, Asshat etc.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish every thread was like this. I'd read ILX all night long, drink huge amounts of coffee and never go clubbing. Even when it's Saturday and I just have to get drunk.

Ironic haircuts deserve a "search and destroy" thread. It's no fun just mentioning them like this, they need to be attacked with extreme prejudice.

― Pingu, Friday, 11 June 2004 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

B&T morphed into PMS. Pickering, Scarborough and you can argue all day about the M being Markham or Mississauga.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean I understand people's derision of 'hipsters' based on things like the nostalgia over-indulgence (tho i'm totally guilty of this too i concede...everyone likes to talk about what they watched on TV or played with when they were kids - maybe even displaying it as a badge...it often seems just daft, and cheapened when you see it everywhere, as we do now), the championing of 'edgy' areas with 'faux-charm' (as it seems, but that's just because some people can see charm in a derelict warehouse while others can't - not to the detriment of either party really), tacky 80s clothes (i really don't like pointy shoes and massive earrings but i'm not gonna actually HATE someone for wearing them, as they'd probably find my dress-sense totally pedestrian and boring in return)...

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Aye, trianglulating class is problematic enough without trying to map it onto hipster/anti-hipsterism.
-- Ricardo (boyofbadger...), June 11th, 2004.

OTM -- I usually end up seeming anti-hipsterish and midtown, but not because of any active hatred but because teh hipsterz quite often bring out their own anti-B&T material first -- and I react against that. You can't map class on to *this* discussion since the B&T are just as middle-class as the ironic-haircuts brigade. Shit, they may even *have* ironic hair. Both breeds are slightly chimerical, as I think we all realize.

― Henry K M (Enrique), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Threads like this make me want to lock myself in a barn in the middle of nowhere and shoot anyone who comes within 50 yards of my house more than clubbers, tedious working class shoulder-chips, and ironic Hoxton haircuts all put together.

― Possibly Kate Again (kate), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

M is Malton, surely?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Maaaaatllooooooooock

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course, suburbanites also love to dwell in irony. Going back to the clubbing thing (remember that?), the most popular student townie nights are cheesy disco things - in fact there's very little non-ironic music being played in small town clubs.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

(Sorry, I am almost the only person on the thread who would find that even remotely amusing)

― Ricardo (RickyT), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi! What did I miss?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

You missed a really good bag of chips, Matt.

― Tim (Tim), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1825000/images/_1826702_chips150.jpg

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Incidentally - can I just point out that I am the KING when it comes to provincial clubbing. Every stupid Brent-and-Gareth-go-dancing cliche, I've done it. Fight with person big enough to break me in two? Check. Alcopop-clutching beltalong to awful mid-90s chart pop? Check. Terrifying liason with predatory older women? Check. Botulism-inducing food on the way home - definitely.

Any bloke who hasn't done this and enjoyed it at least once is either lying, or a goth.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we can all agree that city/suburban attitudes are so different, we may as well be shouting alien languages at each other. I'm looking out of my office window right now and I can see sheep. SHEEP!

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Loose Lips Eat Chips.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I'm a goth then, Matt. But then, you all already knew that, yes?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

OTFM!!!! Very much so. I tried to get 'edgy' dance website burnitblue to let me write about this when I reviewed for em back in the day, but no dice. Now they've gone right down the shitter. QED.

MattDC -- I've only gone proper clubbing about three times. All the rest played 'Come On Eileen' -- and I've never met Tom Ewing.

― Enrique (Enrique), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

no dl and i was amazed at your mention of London people who didn't know wher North herts. was? are you KIDDING? sorry but i just find this absurd and i know some v geographically ignorant people myself.

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, Londoners came from somewhere, right?

― Enrique (Enrique), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha, Matt DC = OTM, despite my earlier rage. Sometimes a Bodrum's "meat" kebab can taste fantastic if you want it to, and the same goes for clubbing.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

This did happen. Except they asked me if it was "up North". I'm serious. This was in Highgate.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

i was amazed at your mention of London people who didn't know wher North herts. was?

I had no idea! I mean, I figured it was a home county but I think it overlapped in my brain with hereford somehow, I wasn't really sure.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

uh, Hoxditch is aglow with kebab joints - that's hardly a suburbanite exclusive, nor are any of the other things described. I have been to Equinox in Leicester Square...(pretty much full of suburbanites granted)

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I have known otherwise intelligent and knowledgeable native born Londoners think that Bristol wasn't west of London. Not knowing where North Herts is nothing compared to that, surely?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

(Also, I only found out that Hackney was North of the river like last year, when I'd been dating someone who lived there for like four months, possibly this excludes me from being representative).

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

but there's an obvious difference re West End clubbing and trendy urban clubbing of course - suburbanites are less common in the latter.

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread has just made me google the official website of the New Cross Venue, officially the ultimate archetype of the horrible provincial club, only with four floors of the stuff. And an indie disco on top to make it even worse. And tribute bands called things like Wonderwall, and Even Better Than The Real Thing.

The photo gallery in particular is being fearsome.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I find this lack of knowledge of hertfordshire surprising too. I though everyone in London had at least been to St Albans once. After all everybody Herts (sometimes).

An ex-SOAS Student was killed oytside the Venue. I went to see Levitation there once when it was a proper Indie venue.

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 11 June 2004 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate hipsters and suburbanites equally. They are all merely different tentacles of the same awful hideous vomit-inducing cthulu known as humanity. Therefore they both suck.

― Possibly Kate Again (kate), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

/whisper I saw Carter there/

― chris (chris), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

If it's hard to be a saint in the city, is it at all possible to be a hipster in the suburbs?

― Enrique (Enrique), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

suburbanites are less common in the latter.

do you mean there are fewer of them, or that they are posher?

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

uh, Hoxditch is aglow with kebab joints - that's hardly a suburbanite exclusive, nor are any of the other things described.

uh, it was just an analogy. nasty kebabs & clubbing - I wasn't referring to the urban/provincial war.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Hipsters are just ex-suburbanites who grew up "different" and went to the City so they could EXPRESS THEIR INDIVIDUALITY, MAAAAAAAN, but then ended up all Being Different Together.

― Possibly Kate Again (kate), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

going back to something else DL pointed out, where are the most urban sheep? the occur in Zone 5 (along with cattle), any nearer to the centre than that?

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate OTM. It's my mission in life to be a hipster. That's why I hate them SO MUCH!! ;-)

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I can see cows from my flat, and live in OX1, ie the centre of Oxford. Anything is possible.

― Enrique (Enrique), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Self-conscious fashion-followers with superiority complexes and a need to be ostentatious about their hipsterism.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

There are sheep in Shoreditch, at the city farm.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Wrong Mark thread but thx!

― Enrique (Enrique), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

hipster is a straw man that is rapidly becoming useless in discussing these topics i think. it can't be pinned down. most people are trying to be cool - at least THEIR cool.

enrique i would expect cows in Oxford, but...Zone 3?

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

some nice sheep in stepping stones farm, stepney, zone 2

― pete b. (pete b.), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

actually Mark C just pinned down hipsters pretty well there

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Except usually that ostentation is another way of proving JUST HOW FAR THEY HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE SUBURBS, MAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!

― Possibly Kate Again (kate), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Looking at those photos of the Venue caused me to fly into a blind rage and smash my monitor on the floor. I am now typing blind in the hope that this will reach theo correct threas.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

sheep are hip

― pete b. (pete b.), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

yes Mark as opposed to "the real hipsters in society, THE ONES HELPING THE CHILDREN, the doctors and the butchers who hide their hipsterism behind their work! THE REAL PEOPLE, LIVING REAL LIVES, FAR AWAY FROM THIS "ART" BOLLOCKS. Come down to the constabulary, you'll see ART there you bloody liberal."

Jesus Christ! Not to criticise anyone "ordinary" if such a person exists, for a second, but what is the point of anyone being hip if they're meant to hide it so Mark or whoever doesn't feel it's ostentatious. If that isn't knee jerk conservatism, DRESS LIKE ME, I don't know what is

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 11 June 2004 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

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