Severe Anxiety

Oh and talk to your doctor before stopping the meds TT, unless carrying on feels too dangerous. It can take a while for them to settle.

and I think I've just done the ilx equivalent of running naked through the high street.

I don't agree! I found your post really great to read and insightful, nnn, & you have my best wishes.

thanks! srsly. Was/am expecting to get shot down for being presumptuous, self-absorbed and just plain wrong. That's part of the whole thing, I suppose.

>Oh and talk to your doctor before stopping the meds TT, unless carrying on feels too dangerous. It can take a while for them to settle.

Absolutely, if possible. Was writing as someone who's had horrible, hypomanic reactions to a few meds and a not-always-great relationship with the people who prescribed them (which was partly my own fault, tbh). They put me in a dangerous place, and IMO I would have been safer stopping without waiting for permission. But most people are okay on what they're prescribed, because doctors do not generally want their patients to get *worse*...
(also, most people would have enough sense to get themselves to A+E if they were in the state that I was in at the time, really.)

Fist-bump to TT, if you're out there. These things are fixable. I mean, I'm saying that cos I need to believe it, but I also really do believe it. Be nice to yourself.

Thanks, everybody, including and especially NNN.

I maybe should have been a little clearer. I don't think last night's attack had anything to do with the new medication; it just happens constantly with no obvious trigger and the Remeron, like the Trazodone before it, doesn't do anything to stop it. I was freaking out extra-hard not only because of the usual obsessive stuff (I'm almost 27 and have achieved basically nothing with my life) but because I passed out eating breakfast yesterday morning. It happened to me in late December, but I'd assumed that was a one-off thing, maybe from the stress of working a month of 12-hour days, and they didn't find anything wrong with me when I went to the hospital. Now that it's happened twice, I've made an appointment with my GP, who will hopefully be more helpful than he was last time, giving me a prescription for Pristiq that made me suicidal for weeks. Even though it would be a different kind of horrible, I'm kind of hoping there's some biological/chemical thing going on, because that would have a much more concrete treatment than "hey, a few more years of therapy and maybe you'll be able to speak to strangers without wanting to die!"

Are you still working 12 hour datys TT? It seems that would be an obvous immediate thing to stop, if you are. Can you speak to yr manager/HR, give them a medical cert, have some time off?

I'm not, thankfully. That was just for December- the company I work for does something like 35-40% of its business for the year during December. My hours are back to normal.

Thats something at least :) Hope you can find some way to defeat the issue, it must feel so hard.

oh man this has gotten so bad the brief moments where it lulls (or i'm boozed up enough) are verging on euphoric

Wasn't sure where to put this, sorry if not appropriate.

Tense conversations make me incredibly anxious. Arguments, especially. I panic. Sometimes it feels like my entire motivation in life is avoiding confrontation, and preventing it in others. If I end up in an argument, I'll leave the room, guaranteed, whether the argument's over or not....and inevitably later I apologise even if it's not my fault. If others start arguing around me, I try to find a way to smooth things over, so that they stop. Now, given that my parents fought a lot when I was a kid, and that my Mum had kind of a temper and would shout at us, it's not like it's a complete mystery to me why I am that way.

It's started to take over other aspects of my life though. At work, if a meeting gets heated or other people start arguing, I find an excuse to leave the room. Like, I'm literally like a frightened dog or an animal, thinking 'let me out let me out let me out let me out'. Even worse, it's got to the point if I'm *listening* to an awkward/uncomfortable conversation on the radio, or on the television, I have to turn it off and go away... the best I can do without leaving the room if it's on tv is stare at the floor or read something. Even if it's not really an argument. Just a heated discussion. Between people I like, who respect each other, who aren't being mean...it's like the filter's gone and my brain is just turning everything into 'AGH CONFRONTATION RUN' now.

Anyone know a good lobotomist? :)

I'm probably making this sound worse than it is...but goddamn it's starting to annoy me now. I'm trying to listen to the WTF Podcat with Carlos Mencia...it's taken me 2 hours to listen to 20 minutes because I keep panicking and pausing the podcast. Fucking ridiculous. Just because I know they're there to talk about his joke stealing.

Maybe it's not anxiety. Maybe I'm just a weirdo.

Prozac isn't working, and now I'm lying here practically hyperventilating and staring at the ceiling at 2:30 in the morning. I can't stop thinking about how I spent yet another weekend without talking to a single other human being face to face and how I have less than 7 hours before I have to be back at work and will probably almost immediately be yelled at by a surly dim-witted Texan prison guard who I have to be nice to because he's placed a bulk order and we don't want to lose that valuable prison-industrial complex money. Which in this case is about $200 worth of shitty jigsaw puzzles. And I'm rambling again.

First question - how long have you been taking the Prozac? Meds can take a while to work.

@VegemiteGrrrl, you may be a wierdo for all I know, but your problem certainly sounds like a form of social anxiety, and I'd put real cash money on it being something CBT would help with. Are you somewhere you can get help for free or would you be having to pay out?

Prozac isn't working, and now I'm lying here practically hyperventilating and staring at the ceiling at 2:30 in the morning

Not that this will help you now but I found prozad *did* that to me, tbh :/

prozac, even.

Veg G, I have a not-as-bad avoidance of meaningful conflict, so I hear you. I think mine is at more or less manageable levels, I just have to learn my lessons as I go along and try to stand up for whatever my side is. But I've sacrificed pretty much every relationship of my life, I think, to attempting to avoid all conflict or disagreement, cos it makes me fake-seeming to keep smoothing things over and amazingly enough it turns out that men actually want to date a real person, which I am not being when I'm making nice.

I'm sorry you feel this strongly. I understand the panic. I mostly fight it by asking myself what I'm afraid is going to HAPPEN: am I physically threatened? Will someone lash out at me? Will it be someone I care about? etc. Of limited usefulness obv because sometimes the answers to the last two are "Yes" and THEN what do I do???!? Bollocks.

Also I really hate movies/stories/shows where the story or humor is about putting someone in an awkward spot. I hate "The Office", I cringe watching Bringing Up Baby.

I'm glad to hear you say that Laurel, I had to stop watching the original Office somewhere in the second season as I was identifying a little too closely with Gervais' character, it seemed like they were putting him through hell. Humiliation's always been a big part of comedy going back to the dawn of time but something about that just seemed too brutal to me to be funny. (Maybe it's because Keaton or Chaplin would win eventually, or be regarded kindly at some point, and this never happens to Gervais?)

Panic in my case is usually a function of overthinking, the pace of which gets faster and faster as I consider all options/perspectives/angles/possibilities to the point where it results in paralysis and withdrawal. This is why scheduling activity (ideally exercise or something socially engaged) is so important to break that cycle ....

minor 5 minute anxiety attack hit a few moments ago, a little unnerving as I haven't had one in ages (since I've been on Effexor). think I'm just nervous about my new impending relationship.

My husband says that anxiety isn't something you should fear completely. Just try to relax. I know it's easier said than done. Had some anxiety attacks the other day but thanks to my meds it was manageable.

Also, YAY for impending new relationship. :-)

yea this time it passed rather quickly -- I learned some breathing techniques when my anxiety was at its worst last year and now I'm able to stop it before it starts a lot better.

thx about the relationship -- I had one of those 'omg excited yet nervous' moments like I have when I start any new relationship, but the good news is she said she's having the same thing.

My anxiety has been off the charts for a couple of weeks now. During the day, I can usually turn my constant low-level panic attack into seemingly productive behavior, but when I lie down to sleep it can really amp up. My thoughts go straight to the worst-case scenario of everything, I lose all rational perspective, my heart pounds like mad, I sweat, and just as I'm relaxing I often get muscle twitches, varying in size from hand and finger spasms to back spasms that lift me up off the bed. Bad times.

The best night I've had in a while was recently when I took half a valium. I woke up feeling like a thousand bucks, and even though the next day had a surprise crisis in store for me, I handled it with dignity and step-by-step rationality instead of tweaky freak-out. Maybe I should mention this to my psychiatrist.

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT symptoms are back when they've been dormant for ages, probably due to me overreacting to my bloodwork showing my health has declined in the last year (WELL DUH SAN TE YOU GAINED 25 POUNDS OF FAT!!!! and YOU'RE EXERCISING NOW).

time to break out the 4-7-8 breathing techniques and hoping I settle down soon.

been better the last few days (and in general), but boy was this a.m. fun. Had a date with the lady who was hungry, and I make it a habit not to eat late anymore, but I broke my rule and had pizza with her. of course my body hated me for this...I'll spare any gorey details, but let's just say it did a number on my digestive system that woke me up at like 4 am. The resulting pain due to said digestive system woes wouldn't subside, and on reaching the facilities, I started to feel claustrophobic and lightheaded and had a full blown anxiety attack and began hyperventilating.

5 minutes later, I was fine, but drenched in sweat. Ick. I had forgotten how scary panic attacks are is this is really my first major one in probably a year.

http://www.amazon.com/End-Panic-Breakthrough-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1572241136/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1

an end to panic: breakthrough techniques for overcoming panic disorder
by elke zuercher-white

i was recommended this book by a friend, and bought it for my husband to help him work on his flying phobia-related panic attacks. it is a REALLY great book - he's still working through it but so far it's been extremely useful.

one of the initial things the book deals with is helping you to figure out if you have a panic disorder, a phobia-related panic disorder, or high anxiety. the book's concentration is CBT and teaches practical breathing techniques to deal with the physical panic symptoms. interestingly, the worse thing you can do when having a PA is try breathing deeply - this actually worsens the symptoms!

also interesting: my husband was convinced that he doesn't hyperventilate during a PA, but there is a 90 sec test where you force yourself to start hyperventilating and it brought on all the other symptoms of a PA that he gets - numb hands, back of the neck starts sweating, racing heart and total mental panic.

heart palpitations back as of last night. haven't had this problem in ages....but the good thing is I know it's all in my head now. i've had numerous EKGs/x-rays in the past. my ticker is fine, it's my nerves that are shot sometimes.

still really annoying though!

just hasn't gone down much in a week. I'm theorizing that possibly the proton pump inhibitor I was taking for a month or so might have meant I was absorbing less of my anti-anxiety meds, as they warn it can mess with the absorption of other meds...but it could just be severe boredom too.

hate this.

i hope things get better/less tense for you.

thanks man.

If it is nerves then you know as well as I do that spinning yourself out of control about it will just make the palpitations worse, tense you and make you more miserable. Not saying don't worry, but just ride it out, do something that relaxes you, keep yourself out of your head, give yourself a break from all that. We need your A game :) Hugs!!

Sorry that sounded more preachy than I meant. Hang in there, dude.

lol i got what you meant. yea for whatever reason watching sports lately seems to do it, even if I dont' care abotu the teams. that's what I'm doing now and it's working a bit.

and thanks!

Go team!

keep yourself out of your head,

otm!

I think the problem was medicinal - they warn on the Prilosec box that it can interfere with other medications, due to their being less acid in the stomach to absorb the pills...

After I quit taking the prilosec, the anxiety dissipated, and the symptoms I had were similar to effexor withdrawal symptoms I've had before -- nagging negative feeling of doom in the pit of stomach.

Feeling much better!

Awesome! :)

it's back...and way worse. don't get this at all. feel like there's tabasco sauce in my veins

meds do you think, or something different?

San Te, you have had your thyroid checked, right?

@Veg - I don't think so, the meds usually help . I'm feeling better now that I'm at my brothers and we're watching comedies.

@Christine - yes, but it was a loooooong time ago, and my mother has thyroid issues so it may be time to get it checked again.

feel like there's tabasco sauce in my veins

A+ metaphor!

Fingers crossed you figure this out quickly. /hugs

^^^^

I just happened to take today off anyway and I think that'll help. may just go for a drive later and enjoy my freedom!

my dreams lately seem to reflect the state -- largely violent, and often times I'm perpetuating the violence! this has been happening on and off for like the last 5 months tho.

dunno what it was, me taking PPIs to kill the heartburn, a day off of work, watching The Godfather, dunno but I got hit with a wave of relaxation late yesterday that I'm happy to ride this morning!

i dont mean to make light of this thread which is quite touching and compelling but lmao:

i dont even update my blog often enuf~~~now ill never get a presitigious blogging job~~~

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Thursday, March 26, 2009 6:04 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

jumpiness and minor tremor is back, but the good news is that below the surface, my 'base' is calm, ie, that I don't feel doom or despair, but just calmly acknowledge my jumpiness and know it'll pass. Makes it a lot easier to deal with! when you have a very negative 'base' below the surface, like I did a few weeks ago, taht's what sucks!

oh man this has gotten so bad the brief moments where it lulls (or i'm boozed up enough) are verging on euphoric

oh goody it's back as of this morning, so hyped up and freaked out i'm a bit worried for my physical safety

no more caffeine

hey, i hope you'll be okay. appropos of nothing, i guess, but this seems like the right place to note that i look forward to reading your posts.

thankyou :)

oh i just mean though when i get hyper i get somewhat more accident prone