UK Watercooler 32: Fall Into The Meaning Gap

and advanced Insulting Your Opponent's Honour

Zing Fu?

I think it's just kind of calling people names in Japanese. Japanese in a French accent is actually hilarious.

Oh. I just got that. Groan.

Oh, great. My boss has just fucked off on holiday AGAIN until next Tuesday. Has gone without answer the question I asked him. The developers have fucked the database again and the copy I grabbed before it went down is flawed.

I swear to god, this is the most frustrating assignment I've ever been on. I have no idea what I'm doing here, or how I'm supposed to get on with my job.

It's Friday. Is today going to be as long as every other day this week?

I have a sore throat and cramps.

Bouncy this morning, probably supplied by Dingers and a bacon sandwich.

What is the opposite of bouncey?

Three weeks left on this project, and they've only gone and changed the basic structure of the database. What on earth am I supposed to do?

I need to put on some bouncey music or something. I didn't have time to dry my hair and I feel miserable.

Coldplay?

as in: I feel very coldplay this morning.

sombre? cheerless? subdued? I fear, that there are no antonyms that do it a proper service in time and space. Deflated comes close but doesn't really cut it.

flat.

This is not cheering you up tho, is it?

I'm from Barcelona! That's what you need!

Gah! For a minute I thought you were suggesting that I *listen* to Coldplay, which would probably have me jumping off the roof just to get away from it.

But yes, that is a good adjective for how I feel. Coldplay. Bored and boring and grey and flat and bland and deflated.

Today I am mainly hoping that 1) my boss 2) the developers and 3) Crystal Reports sales team answer my emails so that I have something to get on with.

I have been watching the Nathan Barley DVD I got back from Emsk and I think it is making me hate humanity.

La Dusseldorf was doing it for me this morning. Kerr, you will be pleased that I now have an iPod cable and will be loading your comp this weekend.

I am now being cheered up by thinking about turbo-folk hating pacifist freegan bears.

I want to find out where this is:

http://home2.btconnect.com/smoke/Smoke11-334.jpg

I think this pic is great.

What pray is turbo folk? Does it involve Joseph Porter? If not, why not? (also interested in pacifist freegan bears, that sounds like some kind of kooky ultimate frisbee team)

Oh, I have that one! (Issue of Smoke.) It is indeed a great photo.

I sent an email to the developers, and it went all around the department, and finally came back from my boss - basically saying, sorry, the database is a work in progress, nothing is finalised, even the structure.

How can I build reports when the structure keeps changing?

This is like trying to paint the walls of a house when the foundations aren't even complete. We can talk about what colours they want to walls to be, but it's pointless to start painting until the walls are up and the studwork is on them.

And I'm supposed to be finished painting by the first week of April?

Ain't gonna happen.

And I HATE this job and don't want it to overrun. :-(

Ed -

Bears that are good and bears that are bad

have seen now. I have some turbo-folk, courtesy of ambrose, I will send over, not sure if you will like though. (A lot of it is ska-punk with lyrics like 'we go crazy, mental way' floating up through the unintelligible panoply of slavic shouting, I rather enjoy it, of course)

Please don't YSI, I have no way of picking anything up at the moment.

:-(

I don't like shouting, I was more liking the idea of pretty ladysinging.

That pic: Somewhere on the north circular road, isn't it? Close to hangar Lane, or so...

...and now I have a headache as well as a sore throat. I'm going to be sick this weekend, aren't I?

Eat more curry. Knock that crap out of the park.

Did we not walk past the Smoke place during the Southall Marathon?

I've just sent a long letter to my boss, basically saying "Dude, this is a 6-week contract, someone needs to pull their finger out."

This thing isn't even "going to go to QA" until the end of this month. When my contract ends on the 4th April.

I either need a completed, finalised database. Or else I need to be able to build queries to work around the datasets that keep shifting. I can't have the former, they won't give me permission to do the latter.

I can build a mockup in Access, but Access and Oracle handle certain data types (especialy Memo fields) in slightly different ways - so that any reports built off Access cannot just be hooked back up to Oracle - they will have to be rebuilt.

At this point, I don't even think it's gonna be a question of working 14 hour days in the beginning of April to get it all done (and have no time for testing.) It's just not going to happen within the time frame they've given me. And I don't want that on my head.

Oh, and I got a letter from the NG last night. I didn't get the job.

:-(

http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/chris_hawkins/tracklisting.shtml

We got a play on BBC6 about 6.45 this morning (above) and a nice plug for tonight's gig. Anyone coming? Col Poo might be IIRC?

I'm not sure I like the sound of turbo-folk.

I am probably going to be there.

Bummer about the NG, however I have a sneakign suspicion that this contract is going to overrun, kate.

x-post Yay Ed!! Bring friends!

I don't *want* this contract to overrun. I hate it here. :-(

Being in this environment under these circumstances is making me really unhappy and emo. When I have nothing to do, my brain eats itself and goes emo. I cannot tolerate boredom.

I'm sorry, I feel too ill to go out tonight. I have a feeling tonight and tomorrow are going to be spent in bed.

Hi all, yes Doc I am coming tonight, I'll probably try and get there in time for I, Ludicrous - what time are they on again? They're one of those bands I've heard about for a long time and never heard.

That Smoke pics near the northbound entrance to Blackwall Tunnel - you can see the Dome behind teh gasometer.

Great! I, Lud are on at 8.45 ish. We're on 9.30ish.

OK, I just made an interesting discovery. Music on MySpace works on my headphones. I wonder if that means I can use YouTube...!

test it out with e.mily's dancing ray, it will make you smile.

Well, the first thing I can tell you is that lot up in the field who look like Coldplay, well, they sound like Ride. Which is not a bad thing, but, you know, there already was a Ride. Why would I want another band that sounds just like them?

I don't dislike them, I just don't see the point of them. If they insist on being a Ride tribute band, well... sorry, they're not as good looking as Ride, so why should I go and look at them? And if i'm not going to look at them play, I might as well stay home and listen to an actual Ride CD. Thanks.

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=5596171492898905314&hl=en-GB

Wow, it works! But I better not sit here watching videos. I can at least listen to MySpace while I build mine own, totally futile Access version of the DB in which I am able to build and save all the Queries that I like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLqo77gQrxg

Go on, watch one^

Well, it is lunch...

Second awesome discovery of the day, is the health food/vegetarian shop that Emsk reccomended does 3 curries for a fiver and have given me SO MUCH NUMMY FOOD I don't know how I'm going to eat it all.

yes I do - same way I eat carrot cake. WITH EXTREME HAPPINESS.

Ohmigod, Pash, that Busby Berkeley thing is psychedelic and wonderful, but also... WAAARRGGGH OHMIGOD, STALKERTASTIC - I'd be scared of anyone who felt that way about me.

I can go back and listen to all these bands that have randomly friended me! Some of them are bound to be awesome... score, already!

http://www.myspace.com/gypsyrock2323

Spanish girls in the garage type stuff with a psychedelic flamenco twist.

Oh, I can listen to this band I seem to have accidentally joined, too.

I was going to burn you a copy of the DVD with all the routines on it, I thought they might appeal to you for some reason. This one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akET7aP01_8&feature=related

Has the best music ever, it's so rich and saucy-sounding. From the bit with the alarm clocks onwards, it's just incredible. All other music ever just seems a bit unambitious by comparison. The bit at 4.44 is the embodiment of early '30's pre-code rudeness. No nudity or any of that, but you watch it and you're like holy SHIT you've got to be kidding me, man.

(Not Autorotation, another completely random band - OK, not entirely random, they seem to know Milimetre, who I did some stuff with last year.)

x-post

been paid today, and work appears to have stuck a plus instead of a minus. I have been paid for 5 weeks instead of three, either that or I got a £20000 pay rise.

Also it occurs to me that new computer=being able to give you videos without making them into DVDs first. hmm,, what shall I burn you for sunday?

Aaahhh, too much to consume! What am I going to listen to/watch next?

I'm never going to do any work again! And never going to complain about having no work to do again, either!

Oh! I appear to have joined a Spacemen 3 tribute band. By accident. Awesome!

But I think I have to be Sonic. Can't I be Will? Ah well, I'm not going to complain.