which characteristic you really can't stand in other people?

people who always want to "agree to disagree"

Actually, scratch all of that.

People who don't get their round in.

People who don't get their round in.

Aye, that's me.

:-(((((((((((((((((

but I'd rather hear 'em and know where we're starting from, than both be pussyfooting around in some attempt not to offend/impose/etc.

I guess there's value in that, I just don't like the antagonistic dynamic it creates. Also, there's a difference between being meek in one's opinions versus being diplomatic.

yes it has been my experience that people with very loud, self-righteous opinions are insecure, jay, but also, who isn't insecure? but yes, that is my perception as well. it really frustrates me.

laurel, i'm all for not pussyfooting around opinions, but there is osmething to be said for having a good ear as well, and being considerate in a conversation. it doesn't do any good to keep talking about how much you hate something if ur fellow conversationalist clearly liked it a lot. you can say u hated it but there's a give and take that some ppl look at as just a TAKE. they TAKE all the conversation time to spout off about how strongly THEY reacted to this thing.

ugh i'm getting heated.

hmm I don't see why -- all it's saying is "Keeping a big dog in a small, urban space when big dogs actually require a lot of space to run around and be healthy in fact causes some harm to those dogs. So don't do it."

-- Mark Clemente, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 9:54 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ok. well, its a total myth that big dogs need to run around 24/7. the two dogs ive lived with over the past 10 years both easily exceed 100lbs (a bull mastiff and a great dane)and both are the laziest mfs you could ever meet. they like walks like any dog but if they have to go outside for anything else you can see that look on their face like 'are you really going to make me get out bed??' and they both average 20+ hours sleep a day too. both of these dogs have large yards which rarely get used for more than poops and pees. dogs are so much more about being your friend and playing than wanting to run through fields all day long. yeah, there are breeds of dog, big and small, that need a yard. duh. anyway, owning a big dog in a city = sense of entitlement/animal abuse and you might as well be running dog fights is pretty fucking insulting besides being incredibly stupid but what the hell else am i supposed to expect from a kenan post?

but also, who isn't insecure?

Haha, true, it's probably my own insecurity that's partially why I'm so bothered by other people's blunt opinions, like I feel like it's a judgment against me.

I always get mad at my husband, because we'll see some movie together and both love it—walk out of the theater in a magic cloud of bliss—and then the first person he talks to that didn't like the movie, he'll just CAVE, just to agree with that person, totally violating the MAGIC ROMANTIC BOND we had forged over our shared love of said movie.

NYT Article On The Burden Of Being A Millionare In The Silicon Valley

(xxpost I'm sure a lot of people think I'm too touchy.)

But it doesn't have to be antagonistic! All depends on how you look at it, once you can section off the air of "conflict" into a place where it's not real conflict at all, you can put it aside and not feel any stress from it. Anyway, not the point of thread, soz.

Anyway, people who are all quiet and meek an' shit are a lot of fucking work to be around, b/c you keep stepping on their toes all the time w/o meaning to but they don't stand up and claim anything for themselves, and feeling like the bad guy all the fucking time is less fun than you might think. It ruins friendships and frankly I just can't be arsed anymore. :D

Beth: Keel-hauling is too good for him, obv.

i MAKE myself not do that. if i love a really corny movie, and someone says they think it's the stupidest thing ever, i force myself to not cave in and instead say something positive/intelligent about it.

right jay, i think we're on the same page u and me ; )

i think, laurel, the point is less about opinions than it is about self-absorption. like some people are self-absorbed to the point that they think conversation time is best utilized to dissect the ins and outs of THEIR PERSPECTIVE first and foremost.

Admitting you love the scorned movie makes the world a safer place. Otherwise, fascism.

Everything irritates me. That's why I drink.

Drinking also solves this for me. But it's making me gain too much weight. Try some Klonpin. I love it.

xxpost

I don't worry about people stepping on my toes b/c I can definitely hold my own when needed. But conflict really stresses me out so I usually avoid it. I didn't used to be this way but I am now. It is an issue of my own mental well-being more than conceding to other's feelings.

Would it be better or worse if he were a contrarian, always wanting to defend, at length, the scorned movie?

so true. The First Wives Club is my favorite movie ever. There (that was hard!).

oooh see i make myself not do that too - b/c that's just delving into my own insecurities. it's like why would i need to defend it THAT much? u don't like, u don't like it!

I want to read the Olivia Goldsmith book. The Bestseller was so great. Not to sidetrack.

From our hatreds.

oooh i know i can't believe i never got the book!

I HATE PEOPLE WHO STEAL THE BIKES OF OTHERS. HATE, DO YOU HEAR ME? HATE.

That is one of the lowest. You gotta make your bike super ugly.

that is awful. did we already do prejudice? cuz i hate that.

but also, who isn't insecure?

Don't project, some people are very confident (and sadly like to shove that in your face).

Not knowing how to cook. Followed further down by not knowing how to clean a house. Or repair a puncture / change a tire. Or write a thankyou letter. In other words, basic life skills.

point taken.

...

point re: confidence taken that is

Ha, you should probably never meet me, paulhw. I'm no good at basic life skills.

I read above post as "not knowing how to puncture a tire."

basic life skill

laurel, did your bike get stolen? :(

No, Tracer's did! Anger and sadness.

so low

Changing a tyre is a basic life skill? I guess that's me and Larry David fucked then.

how/why is writing a thank you letter a 'basic life skill'?

cue trombone
(xp)

xxpost That and knowing all about shoes. (hahahaha Laurel, I am just kidding!)

Not knowing how to cook. Followed further down by not knowing how to clean a house. Or repair a puncture / change a tire. Or write a thankyou letter. In other words, basic life skills.

-- paulhw, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 3:54 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

what if you know HOW to write a thank you note but are just too LAZY to actually DO it?

"not knowing how to puncture a tire.

haha, me too. Helpful though when you hatin'.

same with cleaning i guess. i have no fucking idea how to change a tire though that is what AAA is for i thought.

i guess paulhw and i can't be friends.

I can change a tire, but prefer not to.

I just did a spot of house cleaning so Paulhw wouldn't hate me.

he sounds a bit uptight anyways, i'm probably better off.

I hate the way the tire-changing gear and the spare are stowed in really hard-to-get-to compartments in the car. I always have the back of my stationwagon crammed with gear, and to get out the spare I have to take everything out and lift up the floor panel. Grrr!

i can't stand that characteristic in cars

The bolt holding my spare tire has been rounded off completely and is impossible to take off with normal tools. So my idea of 'changing a tire' is running the flat one to Discount Tire for free repair.

i think my answer to this is, i am willing to put up with most people's personality flaws if they will put up with mine.

I distrust anyone who says Henry James is "boring."