Girls - What Does "Romance" Mean To You?

It's easy to get stuck in a routine when in a relationship, and believe that it's just the natural order to live with someone, sleep with them, do social actitivies together, etc. Romance is when one person recognizes that there's something special about the person he or she is with and reaches above that routine to express it to the other, who is hopefully also jolted out of the routine and happier for it.

Could be anything from something that's said in passing that betrays a deep understanding of your s.o. that no one else has to a fancy dinner or present.

i.e. anal

This is about 75% my worst nightmare and 25% what I want. (Which I suppose makes sense.)

Romance is when one person recognizes that there's something special about the person he or she is with and reaches above that routine to express it to the other, who is hopefully also jolted out of the routine and happier for it.

This is completely OTM -- or at least, anyone who I'd ever want to be with would see things this way.

And I don't think anyone's out of line in pointing out that it's very easy for it to seem like the burden of "acting romantic" is primarily on men, and that it can seem tied to having to spend $$$. The gender studies angle there is obvious. But as has been pointed out, I don't think most people here are in the "diamonds-are-forever" crowd, so pointing it out is probably a little redundant.

http://www.openplease.com/cat-images-lg/FF967.jpg

These actions usually just subtly indicate thoughtfulness - even just asking if you would like a cup of tea and then making it for you after a long day, or taping a programme they thought you might enjoy. The everyday sensitivities to what you are like, rather than a SPECIAL OCCASION, MUST BE BRILLIANT, which can seem kind of forced, especially if this is NOT what you are like. Of course, this is a personal p.o.v so feel free to disregard/challenge it.

i'm a born-n-bred yankee and i like the trad romance crap too (creative expressions of it, anyway). guys never think i do because i'm all tomboyish or whatever, but i spend so little time caring about my gender in my day-to-day life that i actually do enjoy some sort of acknowledgment that i'm female.

The thing is, in today's blah blah disposable, past-paced, over-mediated, hypersexual culture, where there seems to be no such thing as a straightforward "Relationship" any more, and everybody is getting bent out of shape about noyfriends, fuckbuddies, friends with benefits, NSA, and all the other shades of "let's pretend we're not in a Relationship" - I think that it is perfectly fair to come out and say, at the beginning of a relationship "I am interested in ROMANCE" and mean - I want all that nice stuff that successful relationships are made of, not some quasi-relationship Noyfriend.

But that is 100% *MY* interpretation, of the sort of thing *I* would say if I were to start dating again. And nothing to do with the woman in the question.

But if I had to choose I'd go for number 1 every time.

but when you use 'romance' in that fashion, isn't what you're really saying that you want something better than nothing? 'a little romance', or even the pretense of romance? and doesn't it diminish the concept to use it in that fashion?

One thing I like about the social circles I move in is that everyone is very upfront about what they want right from the start. They might change their mind occasionally about what sort of person they're looking for (I know I have), but they always make it very clear what they do and don't want.