Jake Gyllenhaal

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Something about that picture frightens me.

Perhaps the way it looks like SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARSGAAAAAAAAAARD has snatched the beard off of Gyllenhaal's face?

― Dan (FWIP) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Sarsgaard looks a bit like Amateurist there. If Amateurist had a beard like that.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:49 (eighteen years ago) link

And was also Peter Sarsgaard, yes.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:49 (eighteen years ago) link

That's possibly the most punchable beard I've ever seen.

― Dan (This Isn't Fucking Pirates Of Penzance, You Knob) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:50 (eighteen years ago) link

i think that's what your mom calls her vibrator

Oh no no no. She doesn't even know he exists.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:51 (eighteen years ago) link

what does she call it then?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.my-wc.com/celebs/val_kilmer/top.jpg

"You call that a beard??? Bitchface."

― Dan (Val Disapproves) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

...

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

The beard looks like female pubic hair.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

"dan perry"

xxxpost

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

er, Saarsgard's.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Clearly no xpost was needed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:53 (eighteen years ago) link

If my pubes ever did anything remotely like that, I'd kill myself.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:53 (eighteen years ago) link

what, crawled onto peter sarsgaards face?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:54 (eighteen years ago) link

That too.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:54 (eighteen years ago) link

What, like crawl onto Pete Saarsgard's face???

(xpost BAH CURSE THESE SLOW FINGERS)

― Dan (HORRORS) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

zing?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

"Jake and Peter Sarsgaard lived together for five months in Mexico."

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

the sad part is that i know dan and i were all twitchily typing away going "omg that bastard perry/strongo is gonna beat me"

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Ok. I already spent all of yesterday on ILE discussing which NFL qb's I'd fuck before Tom Brady. Let's not turn this thread into that, but about pubes in the face instead of the fucking, I'm too tired.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Thread of the year, obv.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

"I'm fucking Peter Sarsgaard in the face/fuck a dime/I'm a silver dolla/holla" -- Trina

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:57 (eighteen years ago) link

this really isn't living up to its full potential now.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:58 (eighteen years ago) link

sarsgaard and gyllenhaal don't seem gay to me.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:58 (eighteen years ago) link

but one time when i younger, i went to hardees and ordered the fisherman's special and was suprised that it was fish.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:59 (eighteen years ago) link

we need anthony to come back and talk about theoretical vulvas

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:59 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't think they seem gay either but that's because I want to fuck Jake Gyllenhaal.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I thanked God this morning I created this thread. Unfortunately he left me this thread, and no Jake.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:00 (eighteen years ago) link

i want to know if jams has firsthand knowledge about this gaydom.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:01 (eighteen years ago) link

http://spectacle.provocateuse.com/images/spectacles/jake_gyllenhaal_02.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no sympathy, Alfred, because you've single-handedly ruined ladypubes forever.

― Dan (Bastard) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:04 (eighteen years ago) link

it is knowledge gained via unpublished reports from a certain w3nn3r media gossip publication

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:05 (eighteen years ago) link

seventeen?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:06 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.filmhobbit.com/moviereviews/movie-images/news/reporters/gardenstate.jpg

― Dan (Zack Is Despondant; Where Are His Facial Ladypubes?) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:06 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no sympathy, Alfred, because you've single-handedly ruined ladypubes forever.

http://www.daringiscaring.org/Mustache/SalvadorDali_jpg.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Peter Sarsgaard got a new roommate to prepare for his role as a Marine in the Gulf War drama "Jarhead."
The 34-year-old actor plays Jake Gyllenhaal's sniper partner in the film adaptation of Anthony Swofford's memoir, so he decided to spend as much time as possible with him in real life, he told The New York Times Magazine in Sunday's issue.
"I figured if I couldn't be around my girlfriend, I would settle for her brother," said Sarsgaard, who's dating Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Sarsgaard and Jake Gyllenhaal lived together for about five months during filming, mostly in a hotel in Mexico.
"The idea was to simulate the military experience: what happens if you're forced to be with someone every minute of the day and night," Sarsgaard told the magazine. "And we fought. We'd have a fight and then we'd still have to be together. For a while, I would just wear headphones. All the time. That lasted for 10 days."

Order was eventually restored, he said.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:09 (eighteen years ago) link

ok this is just gettin weird now

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:13 (eighteen years ago) link

So what does Sarsgaard make of his character's happy embrace of a sexual identity that's not nailed down? "The question is, At what point are you supposed to nail it down?" posits Sarsgaard, who's been happily coupled with indie-darling actress Maggie Gyllenhaal since 2003. "I hear people say that all the time, straight and gay. If we decide, 'Oh, you should really have [your sexuality] nailed down by your 30s,' doesn't that seem arbitrary? Isn't it all just arbitrary, then? Can't you have searched your whole life and never have figured it out? If we lived in a world where there weren't these ideas about what it means to be straight and gay, if we were all just free and open, then it seems like it would be easier. But I'm not sure that exists."

...

These straight actors are all company Sarsgaard is quite happy to keep, but he's not about to start patting himself on the back for his bravery. "Wouldn't the more interesting thing be," he asks with a knowing laugh, "for an actor who is actually gay to be allowed to play the role? I mean, great, we've come this far. We have me, Colin Farrell, Jake Gyllenhaal--all these people playing these roles. Cool. Now, can you imagine world where gay actors, out gay actors, were playing these roles in these very interesting movies? Sure, we've moved an inch ..." He trails off, leaving Kinsey's final admonition unspoken: There's a lot of work to do.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link

time for this then:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/06b838cb.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/929b206d.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link

"I figured if I couldn't be around my girlfriend, I would settle for her brother," said Sarsgaard, who's dating Maggie Gyllenhaal.

WTF

― Dan (Jake Sez: "PETER SAAAAAAAAAAAARSGAAAARD Y U BRAEK HAERT :~-(") Perry (Dan P, Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:15 (eighteen years ago) link

i saw a porno like that once

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:16 (eighteen years ago) link

since anthony's not here i'll just say... you can kinda see the outline of his dick in the blue shorts pic.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:18 (eighteen years ago) link

(perviness displacement)

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Still not up to "i bet his pee tastes like candy" standards.

― Dan (B-) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:19 (eighteen years ago) link

i bet his pubic hair tastes like pad thai?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:24 (eighteen years ago) link

http://towleroad.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/jake5.jpg

hmmm...

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:24 (eighteen years ago) link

bet his pubic hair tastes like pad thai?

I had egg foo yung in mind.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:29 (eighteen years ago) link

And those Sarsgaard quotes are beyond weird.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:32 (eighteen years ago) link

(xpost) No wonder Ellen went off the air.

― Dan (Titty-Twistering Guests Is A No-No) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:32 (eighteen years ago) link

C'mon, Dan. This thread has stimulated your man-love for the Gyllie.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:42 (eighteen years ago) link

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Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?