Which foreign name for Scrooge McDuck sounds most like a 13-year-old Arsenal Youth prodigy?

Concentration Campbell

Arbeit Macht Rice

Alex Horst Wessel Song

Arsenal fans successfully ghettoised to the I LOVE ARSE sub-board where they can finally completely hole themselves up in the revolting infant-obsessed parallel universe they've created for themselves

I LOVE MESSI/ARSE

also tomofthenest the word 'duck' has a special sporting connotation that involves cricket so I actually had quite a good excuse this time. thank you for your quibbling though, it's what I strive for

'flat track bully'- origin of the phrase is cricket or athletics pls? (F365 mailbox today)

cricket

well there you are.

it could be said I'm a flat-track bully with my grand-scale excelsior attempts - pick an already A+, wacky thread, input an idea, and let ILX do the work

then get called for referencing a sport that uses the subject of the joke as unofficial terminology

do not strive for the excelsior. bring the lols and excelsior will find you. it's like cocaine.

what I'm saying is the heckler principle works - first response to any joke is gonna govern everyone else's

but it's cool, we haven't done the Arsenal Duck version of the black knight on the black horse joke yet

Arshavin has bought a new car, and is eager to test it out. It's an Alfa Romeo, with hundreds of horsepower, a thrumming engine, and style to match. He takes it out onto the road and lets it rip. He gets very carried away, and begins to speed. He overtakes a few cars. Then he overtakes a lorry. Eventually, he overtakes another sports-car, and in doing so nudges it into the central reservation. The driver of this car grows irate, signals Arshavin over to the hard-shoulder, and makes him stop. He get out of the car and bellows profanities at clever Arshavin, who merely grins back in his quizzical manner. Seeing this, the man indicates that Arshavin get out of the car. He goes back to his own vehicle and emerges with a duck. He puts the duck on the ground.

"You," he says to Arshavin. "I want you to get out of your car and stand on this duck. If you know what's good for you, don't get off."

Impudent Arshavin does as he is told. He gets out of his car and stands on the duck. Immediately, the other driver takes his car keys and marks a great scratch across the Alfa Romeo's bodywork. Satisfied, the driver turns. But Arshavin, plotting Arshavin, is chuckling to himself. The driver sees this and says "So you find it funny then? Maybe you'll find THIS funny" at which point he turns and delivers a hefty boot to the car door, denting it slightly.

He turns again to Arshavin, who is this time laughing quietly out loud. "Heaven above!" cries the driver. "I'll teach you to respect me!" He turns once more to Arshavin's car and wildly smashes all the windows in with his elbows and knees. "That'll teach you to drive like a maniac, you terrible bastard!"

Once more, the driver turns to uproarious Arshavin, whose laughter now echoes across the motorway. Defeated, the driver spreads his arms and asks "Why? Why must you mock me? I have just trashed your new motor, and all you do is laugh?"

"Is very simple" replies Arshavin. "Every time you address my Romeo, I step off duck."

no sorry i'm lost

igor stepanovsduck

halcyon days imo

still breaks my head, it does.

I think the current 13(okay 17-20)-year-old Arsenal youth prodigies who sound most like a foreign name for Scrooge McDuck are, in descending order: Oguzhan Ozyakup, Benik Afobe, Wojciech Szczęsny.

altho tbh it seems a good bit more 'lol foreigners' when you do it in reverse. Nothing against foreigners me, many foreign friends I swear.

Wojciech Szczesny already sounds like Donald Duck is saying it, so bonus points there imo

RIP Balthazar Picsou, Joakim von Anka, et al

haha pwned

case yr into some more shoppery after yr sterling contribs to the arshavin thread, fyi:

Dioufy Does Dallas: photoshop El-Hadji Diouf's world tour

A large group of ducks gather in a circle. One duck stood up and walked around the circle patting every duck on the head chanting duck, duck, duck, GOOSE! The one that was patted on the head last started to cry. All the other ducks asked why? The tearful waterfowl replied, "It's true!"

can somebody explain this to me please? It is a duck joke.

― DarraghmacKwacz (darraghmac), Tuesday, March 16, 2010 4:26 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark

I am assuming that Denilson and Arshavin both played the full 90 minutes?

Current Arsenal tiddlers with the best names:

Jack Jebb
Jernade Meade
Brandon Ormonde-Ottewill
Chuba Akpom
George Brislen-Hall
Austin Lipman
Billy Du-Val

Those are pretty good. I hope 'Jernade Meade' rhymes, and that 'Billy Du-Val' is some kind of gun-toting hillbilly type.

Ok only two of those are real, right? (Meade and Brislen-Hall)

Hope Akpom gets the lovable nickname of 'Toothpaste'.

thank you bernard snowy. That sounds an awful game and makes for an awful joke, but at least i know now

Paul Merson went duck hunting. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into the Spurs training ground other side of a fence. As Merse climbed over the fence, Ledley King asked him what he was doing. Merson responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I'm going to retrieve it."
King replied "This is Spurs property, and you are not coming over here."
Merson said, "I am one of the best ex footballers/pundits around and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll get Arsene Wenger to sign all your local talent and leave you dependent on Jermaine Jenas forever!"
King smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things here at Tottenham. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three-Kick Rule."
Merson asked, "What is the three-Kick Rule?"
King replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
Merson quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the permacrock centre half. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
King slowly walked up to the drunken chancer. His first kick planted the toe of his Predators into Merson's groin and dropped him to his knees. His next two kicks to the same spot caused the 'popular' pundit so much pain that he nearly gave up. However, he summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you non-footballing wage grabbing inspirational cunt, now it's my turn."
King smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

pause for laughter imo

What has feathers and a bill and goes quick

A deck frem jehannesbig

^

Flu goin round arsenal. In line for jabs new signing kim shellstrom says to bacary sanya "im really looking forward to working with you, what is your favoured position btw?" to which sanya replies "right back at you"

(right back is bacary sanya's favoured position and sneezing is common when one has the flu)

("at you" is to he pronounced as "achoo", in the manner of a sneeze, for the purposes of this joke)

:D

There is a 'symphonic Finnish prog-rock concept album' about Scrooge McDuck that has been recently released

not finding a lot of name value in the current arsenal youth contingent, the counterpoint of chuba 'chubs' akpom and chukwuemeka 'chuks' aneke about as interesting as it takes

was prepared to hate hector bellerin for having a shit name and being another ex-barca youth player ready to take queen wenger's shilling, until i saw this photo of him and felt his move into the EPL was verging on the TE lawrence level of unlikely yet seamless acculturation

http://i.imgur.com/Wcmmh9D.jpg

It's such a beautiful album that it far exceeded my expectations. It keeps the signature style of Tuomas's writing but brings it to a new level

Who's that in the photo with Bellerin?

lauren laverne

a black mass of clothing

Joakim Von And has that perfect fusion of Latin American and Eastern European so I'm going for that.

― Maraca Son Sistema (Matt DC), 16. marts 2010 17:26 (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't get this at all...

arsenal just lost the youth cup final

Arsenal: Josh Vickers; Tafari Moore, Brandon Ormonde-Ottewill, Leander Siemann (Stefan O’Connor 71), Julio Pleguezuelo; Ainsley Maitland-Niles, Gedion Zelalem, Glen Kamara (Austin Lipman 83), Jack Jebb; Alex Iwobi (Daniel Crowley 59), Chuba Akpom (c)

Substitutes not used: Ryan Huddart (GK), Alfred Mugabo

Chelsea: Mitchell Beeney; Fankaty Dabo (Isak Ssewankambo 59), Andreas Christensen, Jake Clarke Salter (Isaiah Brown 70), Ola Aina; Jordan Houghton, Charlie Colkett (Reece Mitchell 81), Ruben Loftus-Cheek (c); Alex Kiwomya, Dominic Solanke, Jay Dasilva

Substitutes not used: Bradley Collins (GK), Kasey Palmer

Whilst Arsenal have yet to enter the transfer market for any first-team players, the club have been busy making numerous acquisitions at U18 level.
In addition to the previously announced deals for Kristopher Da Graca, Jonatas Centeno, Savvas Mourgos and Elias Hatzitheodoridis, the club have this week finalised moves for promising youngsters Ben Sheaf and Hugo Keto.
Sheaf, a homegrown central-midfielder signed from West Ham’s famed academy, and Keto, a goalkeeper recruited from HJK in his native Finland, have both been capped by their countries at U16 level.
For all the promise of those listed above, however, Arsenal’s biggest success at youth level this Summer may well prove to be the retaining of the services of an existing player.
Chris Willock, an attacking midfielder deemed so talented that he trained with the first-team at London Colney last season whilst he was still as schoolboy, was the subject of considerable interest from Manchester United, where his brother Matthew, formerly of Arsenal, currently plays.
However, last weekend Willock confirmed that he has signed a two-year scholarship deal with Arsenal and will continue his development at the club. Although he struggled with several injury setbacks last season, Willock demonstrated his considerable promise during his 12 appearances at U18 level and also made the bench in the FA Youth Cup.
There are some other promising Hale End products in this intake, most notably Kaylen Hinds, a striker who featured in the UEFA Youth League last season, and George Dobson, a defensive-minded player with genuine leadership qualities. Tyrell Robinson, a dangerous winger, is also worth keeping an eye on, with Marc Bola, Aaron Eyoma and Chiori Johnson having also commenced their scholarships this week.

Rooting for Hugo Keto

should find a Bryan Ferr to complement Marc Bola

The entire concept of Scrooge McDuck confounds me. Charles Dickens's Ebeneezer Scrooge reincarnated as an anthropomorphic billionaire duck who lives in the US but speaks with an intelligible Scottish accent (unlike his impedemented nephew, Donald) has adventures along with his 3 grandnephews (also ducks wearing baseball caps).

immigrant got rich raised yank ducklings idgi

in the show did he ever talk about his times growing up in Victorian England and being spooked by various ghosts?