http://www.theonion.com/content/video/breaking_news_some_bullshit (via)
― ksh, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:26 (sixteen years ago)
"I'm just some fucking guy."
― Il suffit de ne pas l'envier (Michael White), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:31 (sixteen years ago)
"I talked to this random expert on the subject who told me this thing you're about to hear him say right after he points at a piece of paper."
― ksh, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:36 (sixteen years ago)
hahaaa
"and free-associate about what's going on"
― mind crystals over matter (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:37 (sixteen years ago)
"this is some footage of congress""i can see that"
― max, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:40 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/houseguest_just_going_to_lie_there
extra credit for subject's name
― sometimes I feel like throwing my glands up in the air (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:00 (sixteen years ago)
R.I.P.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/mytron_the_fifth_illuminati
― StanM, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:23 (sixteen years ago)
That houseguest one! A++++
― Not the real Village People, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:54 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/u_s_blowjobless_rate_at_all_time
― goole, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:59 (sixteen years ago)
looool at bullshit video
I'm an old man so you can trust me!
― noted schloar (dyao), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 01:12 (sixteen years ago)
Hahah that houseguest one is awesome, been there done that (from both sides!)
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 02:02 (sixteen years ago)
TL;DRhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/nation_shudders_at_large_block_of
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 02:03 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/man_on_internet_almost_falls_into
^^ pretty much gets the measure of awe and horror that makes up the internet
― werewolf congress (schlump), Friday, 12 March 2010 13:02 (sixteen years ago)
ROFLMAO@ "That's when I realized the mustard had come between us."
― Fetchboy, Friday, 12 March 2010 13:28 (sixteen years ago)
i have a friend who is exactly like that dude.
― n00b jack city (deej), Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:02 (sixteen years ago)
does he post to the internet about mustard a lot?
― ksh, Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:22 (sixteen years ago)
if only they had written that article about music instead of mustard
― ksh, Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:25 (sixteen years ago)
The historically fluid blowjob market reached its climax in 1996, when millions of wives and girlfriends vigorously stimulated the privates sector.
thumbs up
― :( (Curt1s Stephens), Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:32 (sixteen years ago)
Well they say that helps it along!
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:50 (sixteen years ago)
― ksh, Sunday, March 14, 2010 4:25 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
i dont think u get why the article is funny
― n00b jack city (deej), Thursday, 18 March 2010 00:56 (sixteen years ago)
Pope Forgives Molested Children
― ned ragú (suzy), Saturday, 20 March 2010 18:51 (sixteen years ago)
― n00b jack city (deej), Wednesday, March 17, 2010 7:56 PM (3 days ago)
explain?
― ksh, Saturday, 20 March 2010 19:19 (sixteen years ago)
it's funny because mustard is a funny word
― iiiijjjj, Saturday, 20 March 2010 19:22 (sixteen years ago)
Boy's Tragic Death Could Have Happened To Any Family With 20-Foot Pet Python
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he6O9nZ3CZs
A+++ Bone-dry deadpan perfection. "Today Now" is so brilliant.
Someone should put together a DVD set of the best of the ONN. They've completely raised their game since the movie.
― Cricket riding a tumbleweed (Plasmon), Sunday, 21 March 2010 09:38 (sixteen years ago)
^^^ pitch perfect mapping onto of this:
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/toddler-dies-mistaking-gun-wii-controller/story?id=10056190
― 丫 power (dyao), Sunday, 21 March 2010 09:48 (sixteen years ago)
They've completely raised their game since the movie.
The Onion didn't make The Onion Movie
― parm goin' ham (sic), Sunday, 21 March 2010 10:15 (sixteen years ago)
Hasan, my man, if you don't give me a high five right now, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
― kenan, Sunday, 21 March 2010 10:44 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-government-to-save-billions-by-cutting-wasteful,17171/
― The Reverend, Saturday, 3 April 2010 01:52 (sixteen years ago)
A+! Were they doing real news on April 1st? Sounds quite plausible, tbh.
― StanM, Saturday, 3 April 2010 03:55 (sixteen years ago)
http://media.theonion.com/images/articles/article/1808/Bob-Marley-Jump-C.jpg
― ✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 3 April 2010 04:23 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/freakonomist-keeps-close-eye-on-ge-stock-versus-he,17202/
― rip sarah silverman 3/19/10 never forget (history mayne), Monday, 5 April 2010 16:52 (sixteen years ago)
I Won't Have My Daughter Bringing A Black Man Into This House Until I've Tidied Up And Created A Welcoming Environment
― peter in montreal, Wednesday, 14 April 2010 16:07 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/video/cosmopolitan-institute-completes-decadeslong-study,14257/
― StanM, Wednesday, 14 April 2010 21:14 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-flag-recalled-after-causing-143-million-deaths/
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 15 April 2010 02:57 (sixteen years ago)
(143 mil a bit low, but nice to see)
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 15 April 2010 02:58 (sixteen years ago)
oh, this is the correct link:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-flag-recalled-after-causing-143-million-deaths,17248/
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 15 April 2010 02:59 (sixteen years ago)
GleeFOX 9 p.m. EST / 8 p.m. CST Romance is in the air and that can only mean one thing: GWAR week on Glee.
― Darin, Friday, 7 May 2010 17:15 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/exhausted-noam-chomsky-just-going-to-try-and-enjoy,17404/
― Sweet Sister Raistlin (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 10 May 2010 20:16 (sixteen years ago)
lol x2
― planes/octaves/dimensions of existence (rrrobyn), Monday, 10 May 2010 21:15 (sixteen years ago)
Today, I'm just going to kick back and enjoy some much-needed Noam Time.
― goole, Monday, 10 May 2010 21:16 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/video/semiliterate-former-gold-prospector-given-own-cabl,17408/
Laughing so hard.
― i would rather burn than spend eternity with god and rapists (chap), Tuesday, 11 May 2010 20:21 (sixteen years ago)
BRILLIANT
― StanM, Tuesday, 11 May 2010 20:46 (sixteen years ago)
oh god, please make that a series
― Sweet Sister Raistlin (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 12 May 2010 06:02 (sixteen years ago)
Someone should just post this on like 75% if the ILM threads.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/not-very-good-album-takes-a-little-while-to-get-in,17425/
― Darin, Friday, 14 May 2010 15:35 (sixteen years ago)
Also this:
http://media.theonion.com/images/articles/article/17433/lumberjack_jpg_445x1000_upscale_q85.jpg
― Darin, Friday, 14 May 2010 15:36 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/heckled-christian-rock-band-knows-how-jesus-felt,17446/
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 17:03 (sixteen years ago)
(when you click the above link and you get an error -> just add the / yourself in the address bar)
― StanM, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 17:34 (sixteen years ago)
That prospector is genius, and not too far removed from reality. Kind of like when Fey played Palin by simply repeating whatever stupid things Palin had said.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 17:56 (sixteen years ago)
New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It
aunched last year, Foursquare is unique in that it not only allows users to broadcast their whereabouts, but also offers a number of built-in incentives, including some innovative new crap The New York Times surely has a throbbing hard-on for.In fact, why don't we just let them report on this garbage and call it a day?"Foursquare is a little bit of everything—a friend-finder, a local city guide, an interactive mobile game," said company cofounder Dennis Crowley, as if reading from the same tired script used by every one of these Web 2.0 or whatever-the-fuck-they're-called startups. "But more than that, Foursquare is an [endless string of meaningless buzzwords we just couldn't bring ourselves to transcribe]."
In fact, why don't we just let them report on this garbage and call it a day?
"Foursquare is a little bit of everything—a friend-finder, a local city guide, an interactive mobile game," said company cofounder Dennis Crowley, as if reading from the same tired script used by every one of these Web 2.0 or whatever-the-fuck-they're-called startups. "But more than that, Foursquare is an [endless string of meaningless buzzwords we just couldn't bring ourselves to transcribe]."
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Friday, 21 May 2010 23:31 (sixteen years ago)
zang i love the times piece at the end
― forksclovetofu, Saturday, 22 May 2010 18:20 (sixteen years ago)