Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

lol didnt actually click on the link. only reasons to ever click on a daily mail link is to be able to quote it when making official complaints and cos they have good sports photos.

Sort-of ironically, I briefly mistook Ashley Cole's photo on the front of the Daily Star for Gary Bushell this morning

oironically

haha x2

To be honest, if you watch TV's 24 all the terrorists seem to be multi-millionaires with infidelities and fast flashy cars.

Meanwhile, back in the real world

Oi, Doris, I didn't know Lord Ashcroft lived in Belize.

Belsize Park, you mean?

Nah, Belize.

Where's that, then?

Dunno, actually. Might be near Marbella.

surely more daily mail readers would have heard of belize than belsize park?

Gonna steal 'oironically' and claim it as my own tbh

Didn't Bin Laden once buy 35 Arsenal shirts in one go? I blame him for the riches that have spoiled young Ashley.

Some people will belize anything they read. xxp

I take it that your memoirs about your service in Northern Ireland and the Falklands can be expected any day soon then, Richard.

- harryrobb, edinburgh, 5/3/2010 12:34

good job harryrobb

Richard Littlejohn stomps all over Michael Foot

Much as I'd like to, can't really bash him for doing this cos pretty sure I'll be doing the same once Maggie carks it.

That Ashley Cole looks like a terrorist thing is outstandingly Mail-like.

Though "Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole has started to grow a beard since splitting from his wife Cheryl" made me laugh, presumably has to grow his own beard since his current one is divorcing him. Allegedly.

tscchhhh

naturally should consider that c tweedy would never have got this big without having something to attenuate for the racial assault conviction

We should have hung them when they were ten. Killing children is wrong and should be punished by death.

- Pritesh Hathalia, Leicester, 8/3/2010 9:02

^has to be a troll shrly?

http://i50.tinypic.com/vq5g5l.png

whoops.... beat me to it.

pretty sure I drew pictures like that when I was a lad. Sorry about all that murdering what I did.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1256078/Jon-Venables-serving-life-hes-jail-not.html - a columnist who isn't a psychopath, an interesting gimmick from the DM.

though we appear to have forgotten about the number of adults who at the time saw but didn’t report this scenario

The Sun went fucking ape over this at the time, labelling these witnesses as complicit in the whole thing.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/mar/11/facebook-daily-mail

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Mar/Week2/15573336.jpg
Fourth paragraph:

Shadow Immigration Minister Damian Green said the advert exposed the hollowness of Gordon Brown's pledge to create 'British jobs for British workers'. He added: 'He must regret ever saying that because it has proved a cruel deception for millions of the unemployed.'

Last night, Forza AW claimed the advert was 'a mistake due to a breakdown in communications and should never have gone out'.

Yesterday, Mr Hilliard, claimed the advert's wording was a mistake and due to a 'breakdown in communications' between his firm and OSR Recruitment.

He said he was unaware of the 'Must speak Polish' clause until The Mail on Sunday alerted him to it.

'In normal circumstances, this ad would have been vetted and the error removed,' said the 51-year-old, who is Forza's chief executive and principal shareholder, owning 60 per cent of the company. 'But following the chaos of the fire, and the necessity to quickly set up production with 400 workers in another part of the country, the mistake was made but wasn't spotted.
'We employ many English workers as well as Poles and Lithuanians, though I can't give you exact figures, and I assure you categorically that all our training and health and safety briefings are conducted in English, Polish or whatever the employee speaks.
'I cannot say how this error came about, perhaps a glib comment was made about the difficulty of operating in several different languages, I don't know, but we would never turn down an English person for a job on the basis that they didn't speak Polish or any other language.

Also note the disturbing new trend of charging for the freebie CD.

It's for a charity though.

yeah, but £37 for a Mail on Sunday?

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Mar/Week4/15586506.jpg

Surprised the headline isn't "PILLS FOUND TO CURE CANCER?".

And I'm sure this is down to ever increasing numbers of heart attack and cancer survivors rather than kiddies having slimming pills and anti-depressants stuffed down their pillholes.

"Labour's most incisive critic on the elf and safety madness even he couldn't make up"

I hope someone leave's a copy of the Daily Mail in the pub today...

so what is the deal with "SamCam" - the DM trying to pitch her as some hot topic, trendy politician wife? I get shades of Laura Bush from her, not Michelle Obama/Carla Bruni.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1261423/RICHARD-LITTLEJOHN-I-imagined-town-hall-Nazis-quite-mad.html

I think someone's just thrown every top rated Daily Mail comment into a word scrambler.

"Hell in a handcart"

Florida in a private jet

Don't know if this has been posted yet but:

http://skepchick.org/blog/2010/03/its-absolutely-true-because-i-read-it-in-the-daily-mail/

"Labour's most incisive critic on the elf and safety madness even he couldn't make up"

.. implies that he *has* been making it up previously.

^stuart lee line, that^

yeh not quite

someone should tell shittlejohn it's "health"

he looks so adorable in the pixie costume tho

oh stop being such a nazi blueski

Not even allowed to make elf jokes anymore.

it's gnome laughing matter

britain has been broeken into thousands of separate pixies

Thousands of them, goblin up taxpayers' money.

They'll be banning dwarf hurling next.

dwarves are fairy game

Coming over here, stealing all our little pointy hats with bells on the end.

i mean, all we're asking is a chance to work all day and get no play

amisprite

You know elf'n'safety has gone too far when they break in to your shoe shop each night and sew steel toe-caps into all the trainers.

they've condemned a whole row of toadstools down our way, some blokes from the council