Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

So hateful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RBSy34mCLM

it probably would if their smoothies weren't actually head and shoulders above the competition.

no

I was thinking "hey that's not so hateful" but then he said "baby photo wall" and I was RARARARARARAA-HULK-SMASH-HATE-RAGE!!!

Hi there -

Our records indicate that you recently cancelled your BE Broadband service. This makes us very sad.

We want to know what we can do to improve our service so that others don't leave for the same reasons and so that one day...one day...you might come back.

We would really appreciate it if you could take fewer than 5 minutes to answer a couple questions about your experience and why you left. We would appreciate it so much that we will enter you in a prize draw to win £50 worth of Amazon vouchers!

This survey will be open until the end of the day Friday (5pm) - please take a minute to help us out:

http://www.zoomerang.com/Survey/WEB22A6GL3RN5X

Thank you so much!

All the best -

Everyone @ BE

it makes me sad too

Guess which company has this as their email signature disclaimer?

Hello [:-) It's the small print! Oh yes - first, this email is confidential and legally privileged, so if it's landed in your inbox by mistake please delete it - think "Men In Black" pen zapper thingy. Please also let me know I've been a Muppet and sent it to the wrong person so I can stop sending you erudite but actually irrelevant communiques. Secondly, this isn't a contract. No way. Not a chance. So don't pretend it is or tell your friends the deal's done - it isn't. If you're reading this you're probably either: (a) a lawyer, in which case I can count on you to do the right and professional thing; or (b) bored out of your mind and reading anything just to pass the time, in which case I'm sorry this disclaimer's not longer and thank you for your attention to detail. Loving your work; have a smashing day!

BE's support staff responses were littered with mistakes - they seem to have hired a load of young Bulgarians on the cheap and it was surprising to see such a trade-off wrt poor written English from a major company.

did you seriously change broadband providers because of spelling mistakes

omg u racist

he did it bcs of bulgarian workers there DO YOU SEE

they seem to have hired a load of young Bulgarians on the cheap

do you read the internet? you don't have to go to bulgaria to find really shitty written english

duh, course u don't but it's cheaper

England is a place where you can find really shitty written English.

england for the shittily written english, that's what i say

did you seriously change broadband providers because of spelling mistakes

no! i was moving house

i just saw the badly-written english and thought 'wow, how unprofessional'. i've not noticed it on anywhere near that level from any other corporate correspondance.

"totes unaceptable" i told them. those were my sentimonies to be sure.

"DEAR BE: U MAD"

Hello [:-) It's the small print! Oh yes - first, this email is confidential and legally privileged, so if it's landed in your inbox by mistake please delete it - think "Men In Black" pen zapper thingy. Please also let me know I've been a Muppet and sent it to the wrong person so I can stop sending you erudite but actually irrelevant communiques. Secondly, this isn't a contract. No way. Not a chance. So don't pretend it is or tell your friends the deal's done - it isn't. If you're reading this you're probably either: (a) a lawyer, in which case I can count on you to do the right and professional thing; or (b) bored out of your mind and reading anything just to pass the time, in which case I'm sorry this disclaimer's not longer and thank you for your attention to detail. Loving your work; have a smashing day!

― niminy-piminy cricket (Upt0eleven), Thursday, 25 March 2010 17:43

my god that's repulsive, what company is it so i can vow to never use them?

am gonna guess innocent

Would put money on both of you having used this company already this morning.

oh shit it's not charmin is it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cToziPN-6d4

KILL

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

let me show you how it's done

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80v5Wueed10

oh no, an advert

what is that song, it is fucking disgusting!

the bud one i mean

Shit beer commercials are a fact of life.

The song from the Budweiser ad is "All Together Now" by The Beatles. I think it was used for another commercial years ago but I can't remember for what.

hello

We like our orange juice because it tastes very, very good.

But there's no need to bang on about it, so here's a picture of an annoyed owl dressed as a tree to help pass the time.

Would put money on both of you having used this company already this morning.

― niminy-piminy cricket (Upt0eleven), Saturday, 27 March 2010 12:58 (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

still wanna know who this is

Google btw

that figures

Huh, was expecting this to have been bumped for this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8619028.stm

funny you say that, i bought the dragonfruit one of those at the weekend, and it had some bullshit on the side like "rosie is at glastonbury. justin's tent got stuck in the mud. vitamin water won't help with this, but it might help you win an arm wrestling contest with your gran :)"

"vitamin water won't help with this, but it might help to murder thousands of children"

:)

i believe this is covered upthread, complete with painstakingly typed-out blurbs

"here at innocent we are busy knitting wooly hats for genocidal soldiers in rwanda. for every baby that's killed, we'll hand pick you an orange! ps: david hasselhoff!"

this whole schtick actually makes people distrust human kindness and enthusiasm.

^^^yep

That innocent video posted a month ago... It's like The Office but everyone's David Brent. horrible.

Personally can't think of any company trying to do the OTT nice approach, except for banks and petroleum companies, so it's not really as irritating when they are so obviously fucking people over at every turn.

There's that creepy thing Westpac are doing where they have those giant banners on the window saying HI I AM FRANK SMITH, BRANCH MANAGER and father of two and snowboard enthusiast and superman and bla bla bla and I'm here to help!"

If I was a bank manager and had to have that shit plastered outside my workplace I think I'd find a new job.

Identity Theft

http://innocentdrinks.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451ba8c69e201347fd83c1c970c-popup

FUCK OFF

http://imgur.com/53Myi.jpg

Ugh, this.

"human kindness and enthusiasm" is a myth devised to sell you crap products.

Those British Vitamin Water blurbs are so British. Flatmates, snogged, trainers, Glastonbury, prawn cocktail crisps.

it's like anglophile vocab

Until just now I had never opened this thread, never heard of these drinks and was 100% convinced that Innocent Smoothies was a band name.