Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

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Left them attached to the heads but behind the backdrops, one assumes.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:52 (twenty years ago)

(i kind of assumed that; I wasn't being entirely serious there)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:57 (twenty years ago)

Unfailing kindness indeed.

This edition of the DM is lacking one classic DM ingredient which is the serialisation of a book revealing secrets of the universe, eg. The Crystal Skull, The Bible Code etc. I recommend Who Built The Moon?

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:58 (twenty years ago)

p14: "So where DID we come from? ...many believe the big bang theory is wrong, and we must think again about the mystery of life."

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:09 (twenty years ago)

Well, it's nice to see a paper other than the Guardian get some hating for a while!

― The Brocade Fire (kate), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:11 (twenty years ago)

The co-worker has left today's Daily Express on my desk now, as it happens. Today's front-page headlines are: "Big Tax Rises On The Way" and "Warrior Hero Of Basra".

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:16 (twenty years ago)

The Mail and the Guardian are mirror images of smug shit.

However, these days I read the Times and the Sun, so maybe I am turning into a rightie.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:19 (twenty years ago)

"p17: one cigarette a day TRIPLES your risk of lung cancer (with pic of woman — possibly an irresponsible mother — smoking),"

"p20: Council tax bills could go up! Oh, the humanity," and possibly

"p39: Teachers can't cope with all the pupils in Portsmouth who speak foreign."

aren't necessarily loony.

― N_RQ, Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:32 (twenty years ago)

THE DAILY THEIR LIVES ARE BETTER THAN YOURS GET OVER IT

Now there's a paper I wouldn't mind reading.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:33 (twenty years ago)

Who would of thought that that would have happened?

xxpost

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:35 (twenty years ago)

many believe the big bang theory is wrong

many Daily Mail readers. not actual scientists or anything.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:37 (twenty years ago)

Erm, actually, LOTS of scientists DO believe the big bang theory might not be completely right.

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:38 (twenty years ago)

Creationism belongs in the unloved past, along with the ducking stool, diphtheria and Hitler.

p17: IT'S IN YOUR GENES YOU WOULD HAVE GOT IT ANYWAY THEY'RE HAVING SEX AND YOU GAVE IT UP IN 1978 GET OVER IT

p20: PEOPLE EXPECTED TO PAY FOR SERVICES THEY RECEIVE SHOCK HORROR YOUTH CULT PROBE

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:39 (twenty years ago)

Yeah but what does the daily mail article posit as what actually happened?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:40 (twenty years ago)

I wasn't aiming for a complex discussion about theoretical physics, I was scoring cheap points of thicko Daily Mail readers.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:40 (twenty years ago)

Rick - is that "not completely right" meaning, needs some work on the mathematics as it might not have been as hot and energetic as we've thought or "not completely right" as in no, it's all wrong, there was no bang and other things account for the apparent expandingness of the universe?

― The Brocade Fire (kate), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:41 (twenty years ago)

(I would much rather have a discussion of theoretical physics but perhaps this is not the thread for it. Is there a theoretical physics thread? (And can we eat it?))

― The Brocade Fire (kate), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:42 (twenty years ago)

something tells me the debate is more nuanced than t/s big bang vs creationism

― N_RQ, Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:42 (twenty years ago)

Not in the Daily Mail it isn't.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:43 (twenty years ago)

To be fair, the Mail is probably TS: Big Bang vs Lizard-God-Men from Orion who Built the Pyramids

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:44 (twenty years ago)

They think it's an old man with a beard who looks spookily like David Jason.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:44 (twenty years ago)

Front page: social workers say Kate Moss is not fit to be a parent

p4: We should boycott shops that sell "inappropriate" clothes for children.

I don't find either of those particularly objectionable, although the rest of the list is pretty shitty. DOES THIS MAKE ME A BAD LIBERAL.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:44 (twenty years ago)

Yes.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

Bugger.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:47 (twenty years ago)

I'd like to know what Social Workers they've quoted, too, since the ones I've known seem to think kids are okay to live with parents a thousand times more feckless and incapable than Kate Moss.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:47 (twenty years ago)

It's worth noting here that they directly blame a Next t-shirt for five-year-olds with "So many boys, so little time" on the front for the rise in Britain's teenage pregnancy rate, then steers the whole piece into a rant about pop stars who have sex with each other and magazines that tell girls not to have sex but to take precautions if they do.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:48 (twenty years ago)

Front page: ALL DAILY MAIL READERS/WRITERS ARE NOT FIT TO BE PARENTS

p4: IT'S CALLED CAPITALISM YOU WANTED THATCHER YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW GET OVER IT

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:48 (twenty years ago)

I blame the abolition of child labour.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:49 (twenty years ago)

'DOES THIS MAKE ME A BAD LIBERAL.'

Why aspire to 19th smiling faced, so-gooding, robber barondon?

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:50 (twenty years ago)

p10-11: "The great fashion week cocaine binge": Win 2 Tickets For You and a Partner.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:50 (twenty years ago)

has moss really been dropped by chanel, per the sun?

― N_RQ, Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:51 (twenty years ago)

p6: Melanie Phillips says our once great education system lies in ruins, and it's all "the left's" fault.

This is idiocy, of course, but it comes from an expected source. A rather less expected source is Stephen Malkmus, who, in the current edition of Index magazine, says it's nice to be in Portland rather than New York, then adds "But the west coast has a downside too, like the number of ridiculous leftists..." He then recounts an anecdote of wanting to shove one of said leftists up against a wall. So that's what "Pig Lib" meant!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:51 (twenty years ago)

Yep, looks that way. But not Rimmel.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:52 (twenty years ago)

Was on C4 news last night (why, oh why?)

xxpost

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:52 (twenty years ago)

IT'S CALLED CAPITALISM YOU WANTED THATCHER YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW GET OVER IT

And so say, errrrrrrrrrr, some of us!

― Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:53 (twenty years ago)

I wondered why all of my Pavement records went so speedily to MVE a while back! (Momus xpost)

I blame the abolition of Old Labour.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:53 (twenty years ago)

xpost

Malkmus made snidey comments about "leftists" on "Embassy Row" years back. He's probably worried they'd make him get his haircut and stop mumbling.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:54 (twenty years ago)

On page seven there's a bit about how Labour has failed our schools, which cites as evidence a new report saying too few state school pupils are getting into top universities. Last week they ran a piece complaining about socialist do-gooders forcing clever private school pupils out of top universities by giving their places to the great unwashed.

Damned if you do, etc etc.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:54 (twenty years ago)

Steve Malkmus is the preppiest musician I have ever met.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:55 (twenty years ago)

I thought he gave up trying to be Mark E. Smith years ago? Apparently not. (xpost)

Last week they ran a piece complaining about socialist do-gooders forcing clever private school pupils out of top universities by giving their places to the great unwashed.

And the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that and the week before that

― Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

x-post But don't ridiculous leftists exist? I know some.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

x-post But don't ridiculous leftists exist? I know some.

THERE MIGHT BE ONE IN OUR MIDST, DR C.

HI MOMUS.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:57 (twenty years ago)

Mail headline in about a month's time: "SEND FERAL YOUTH BACK UP THE CHIMNEYS!" Simon Heffer-Heffer writes.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:57 (twenty years ago)

er, except the two things don't contradict each other? obviously they need to end private education and level the field, unless we're to 'enjoy' the same kind of horrible 'affirmative action' debate (on class as much as race lines) here as they had in the states (obv this probably isn't the mail's view...)

― N_RQ, Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:58 (twenty years ago)

The first person I remember using the phrase "feral youth" was Jonathan Miller - go figure, as the Merkins have it

― Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

p49: "Ruthless, career-minded women. An underclass of weak, emasculated men." - Readers' sexual fantasies revealed.

― I'm a Problem for Anthony Blair (noodle vague), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

Amanda Platell writes (and hopefully does quite a lot of other things...).

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

p49: "Ruthless, career-minded woman. An underclass of weak, emasculated men." - Shurely Margaret Thatcher's entire career as PM in a nutshell ("nutcase more like")

― Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:05 (twenty years ago)

I never quite understood what Alan Clark saw in her.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:06 (twenty years ago)

His nanny, surely?

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

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He writes books? Jesus. Now I feel worse for not beating him to death with my shoes

― Colonel Poo, Friday, 8 June 2018 21:36 (seven years ago)

They are all about either the British Empire or Victorians, and have an "absolutely fucking riveting" - some cunt from The Mail on their cover.

― calzino, Friday, 8 June 2018 21:39 (seven years ago)

"A Short History of Power" gets 3.2 on goodreads!

― calzino, Friday, 8 June 2018 21:42 (seven years ago)

That was my one chance to make the world a better place

― Colonel Poo, Friday, 8 June 2018 21:45 (seven years ago)

his Short History of Power is 160 pages long. Maybe read it for a hate laugh? No No No No No, not a good idea!

― calzino, Friday, 8 June 2018 21:56 (seven years ago)

I feel like him and Tristam Hunt have much History bantz together, despite their obvious political polarity.

― calzino, Friday, 8 June 2018 22:02 (seven years ago)

What, as in "That's you that is..."

― Mark G, Friday, 8 June 2018 22:49 (seven years ago)

probably, but pointing at pictures of their own parents and cousins or cousins fucked by other cousins and so on - ad infinitum!

― calzino, Friday, 8 June 2018 23:01 (seven years ago)

That Paul Dacre profanity filter story is on Page 9 of this week's Private Eye. Props to Mark G for the nudge.

― mike t-diva, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 10:02 (seven years ago)

awesome!

― the Messi inside (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 10:05 (seven years ago)

Buying a copy later on.

― We can be herpes (Tom D.), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 10:11 (seven years ago)

Me too!

― Mark G, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 10:43 (seven years ago)

gtf in there, mike!

― calzino, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 11:04 (seven years ago)

Ha, that's great Mike!

― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 11:06 (seven years ago)

Thanks, I'm well chuffed. I meant to submit that story years ago, but the timing was suddenly perfect.

― mike t-diva, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 12:43 (seven years ago)

amazing, props!

― Neil S, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 12:50 (seven years ago)

just read the story in private eye now - nice work mike!

― CARL MARKS PRINCIPAL INVESTING AND ADVISORY SERVICES (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 13:48 (seven years ago)

four months pass...

The Daily Mail is good now!

― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 08:29 (seven years ago)

didn't realise Dacre had gone tbh but fuck the Mail

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 08:33 (seven years ago)

it's one of David Cameron and Boris Johnson's Eton contemporaries Geordie Greig at the helm now, so you can be sure that a pivot towards socialism will now happen

― Neil S, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 08:36 (seven years ago)

as if some posh cunt is called Geordie!

― calzino, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 08:56 (seven years ago)

affectionate public school nickname because he visited somewhere north of Sandringham once

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 09:03 (seven years ago)

While Dacre was known for retreating to his Scottish Highlands estate, former Tatler editor Greig prepared for the job by taking a holiday in Zimbabwe, which is being written up for the society magazine by his son Jasper – recently appointed as Tatler’s London editor.
The Old Etonian, who has taken fellow Old Etonian Tobyn Andreae with him to be deputy editor, is happy to be photographed at celebrity parties and mixes in the same circles as the Rothermeres...

Seriously, it's like the last hundred years never happened.

― Ned Trifle X, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 09:11 (seven years ago)

the last hundred years didn't happen for the rich iirc

― i’ll hufflepuff i’ll blow you away (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 09:14 (seven years ago)

one year passes...

https://i.redd.it/1i8g8gz7uf941.jpg

― 'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 January 2020 09:47 (six years ago)

two months pass...

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/320/cpsprodpb/17504/production/_111229459_dm-frontpage-12march2020.jpg

"Cheltenham and Diabetes Pullouts" is all-time

― fetter, Thursday, 12 March 2020 17:18 (six years ago)

two months pass...

Notice anything about the children the Daily Mail "edited out", in its attack on Educators today? pic.twitter.com/nnaWVbDFNL
— Daniel Kebede (@DanielKebedeNEU) May 15, 2020

two black schoolchildren given the Yezhov cut for the cover.

― calzino, Friday, 15 May 2020 10:21 (six years ago)

one month passes...

I suspect that only one of these photos will be in tomorrow’s Daily Mail. pic.twitter.com/nqrjwOA5Z1
— Francis Wheen (@FrancisWheen) July 2, 2020

― calzino, Thursday, 2 July 2020 21:18 (five years ago)

five months pass...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EqZrViYW8AAghJg?format=jpg&name=medium

twin peaks. Oh yes I almost forgot the current Mail editor is a friend of the soon to be convicted (or murdered lol) paedo on the cover

― calzino, Tuesday, 29 December 2020 13:04 (five years ago)

three weeks pass...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EsIHG1jXcAAFJfM?format=jpg&name=large

also see: Why I hate this country distilled into one edition.

― calzino, Tuesday, 19 January 2021 23:05 (five years ago)

seven months pass...

how to avoid giving the DM ad clicks for when you need a rage read session

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/textbased/channel-1/index.html

― mark e, Saturday, 11 September 2021 18:15 (four years ago)

one year passes...

Hope the cunts go bankrupt

Prince Harry, Sir Elton John, David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Sadie Frost and Baroness Doreen Lawrence have launched a legal action against Associated Newspapers, publishers of The Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday and the Mail Online.
— Daniel Sandford (@BBCDanielS) October 6, 2022

I mean so far so British tabloid but genuinely poisonous and awful rag, does it ever produce anything newsworthy?

Hamlins LLP said the "unlawful acts alleged to have taken place include:
1) The hiring of private investigators to secretly place listening devices inside people’s cars and homes
— Daniel Sandford (@BBCDanielS) October 6, 2022

2) The commissioning of individuals to surreptitiously listen into and record people’s live, private telephone calls whilst they were taking place
3) The payment of police officials, with corrupt links to private investigators, for inside, sensitive information
— Daniel Sandford (@BBCDanielS) October 6, 2022

They were also exposed during Depp v Heard for meeting with Depp, his lawyer (who was booted off the case for leaking evidence) and publishing selectively edited audio to sway public opinion, but nobody cared about that.

― barry sito (gyac), Thursday, 6 October 2022 16:25 (three years ago)

has Doreen Lawrence ever commented on the Daily Mail's "murderers" front page? Not that it makes a difference either way to these scumbags being scumbags, but I've always thought it very strange how it was the Daily Mail who took the biggest risk around the case.

― boxedjoy, Thursday, 6 October 2022 16:49 (three years ago)

The Mail became interested when it transpired that Neville Lawrence had worked for the Dacres as a handyman.

― put a VONC on it (suzy), Thursday, 6 October 2022 16:56 (three years ago)

A reminder that the Daily Mail was about to do a hit job on the Lawrences then Neville who had done plastering work at editor Paul Dacre’s house rang him up & said it was his son and could he help & Dacre was reminded of their humanity https://t.co/iSSrp8agAR
— MARCUS. 🇧🇧🏳️‍🌈 (@marcusjdl) October 6, 2022

― xyzzzz__, Friday, 7 October 2022 09:21 (three years ago)

I didn't know the Mail was about to go after the Lawrence family (not exactly surprising).

― xyzzzz__, Friday, 7 October 2022 09:23 (three years ago)

I knew about the Dacre connection but imagined they were just ignoring the story, rather than planning a hit-piece

― politics is about vibes and the vibes are off (stevie), Friday, 7 October 2022 10:38 (three years ago)

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