― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:12 (eighteen years ago) link
I like that one.
― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:17 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:22 (eighteen years ago) link
His Zamboni polished her glistening walls (for the Hockey novel)
He skewered her pineapple (for the randy chef novel)
He buttered her scone (for the tea time romance)
He filled her Mad Lib (for the literary bodice-ripper)
― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:24 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:27 (eighteen years ago) link
― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:28 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:32 (eighteen years ago) link
― Ian John50n (orion), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:32 (eighteen years ago) link
This is genius. It works quite well visually.
― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:35 (eighteen years ago) link
― dahlin (dahlin), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:41 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:42 (eighteen years ago) link
He harpooned her blubber.
― Maria (Maria), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:51 (eighteen years ago) link
― dahlin (dahlin), Sunday, 26 June 2005 17:52 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:09 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:18 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:23 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:33 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:37 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:39 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:52 (eighteen years ago) link
― dahlin (dahlin), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:53 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:57 (eighteen years ago) link
― Ian Riese-Moraine eats nation-states for breakfast! (Eastern Mantra), Sunday, 26 June 2005 18:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 26 June 2005 19:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― Tuomas, Tuesday, 27 February 2007 20:24 (seventeen years ago) link
She revived his thread.
― Aimless, Friday, 7 November 2008 02:50 (fifteen years ago) link
He cleansed her lysol douche.
― Trayce, Friday, 7 November 2008 03:31 (fifteen years ago) link
He plunged his steed through her narrow gorge.
― moley, Friday, 7 November 2008 04:41 (fifteen years ago) link
He graduated from Licking Valley High.
― Trayce, Friday, 7 November 2008 04:53 (fifteen years ago) link
He hungrily plunged his spoon into her creamy love pudding
― BYE! GOOD (latebloomer), Friday, 7 November 2008 04:55 (fifteen years ago) link
starbursts something something butterfly net
― negotiable, Friday, 7 November 2008 05:10 (fifteen years ago) link
Now that the sandbox has taught us about proper romance writing, perhaps this thread should take another whirl around the dance floor.
― Aimless, Monday, 2 January 2012 06:35 (twelve years ago) link
He spammed her mailbox until her Outlook jammed.
― Tuomas, Monday, 2 January 2012 13:53 (twelve years ago) link
He polled her repeatedly until she came out for Santorum.
― Aimless, Monday, 2 January 2012 18:18 (twelve years ago) link
Oh! That reminds me. I have installment 1 (subsequent installments will come from the chapters for various emotions, moving from "happiness, joy" through "anger, rage, and humiliation" and finally ending in "disappointment", just as the book does)
Just to put some boundaries on myself (hehehe), the source material is limited towords: http://i508.photobucket.com/albums/s325/mylynx/Book%202/The_Romance_Cover.jpgimages: http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7141/6594501137_66dfa8acfb.jpg
― La Lechera, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:23 (twelve years ago) link
respect is paid to the winner of the sandbox poll at the end, naturallyhttp://farm8.staticflickr.com/7023/6596082263_5be3430906.jpg
― La Lechera, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:24 (twelve years ago) link
That is completely and utterly brilliant.
― emil.y, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:25 (twelve years ago) link
I like to imagine that the massive and strong hand is spinning her around by the top of the head.
― emil.y, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:26 (twelve years ago) link
thanks!
i imagined that they were swaying to and fro in a deep hypnotic state, not touching, just swaying mechanically
― La Lechera, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:28 (twelve years ago) link
I'd like to hear some more about this project...?
― Tuomas, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:28 (twelve years ago) link
oh, it's nothing really. i was super bored and i started a poll on the sandbox with some phrases from the above linked "romance writer's phrasebook" that i have had sitting around forever. then it became evident that one could construct an entire story from these phrases, many of which were patently awful, and i made that thing i just posted.
i've chosen some more images and i imagine that it won't be hard to make more.
fyi i used elmer's glue to attach the words to the picture (this is a scan of the actual thing)
― La Lechera, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:32 (twelve years ago) link
i also intentionally chose a boring serif font and plain old printer paper for the words.
i guess the book is arranged in a way that it's like connect the dots, and everyone connects the dots in a different way, much like the way people choose to interpret the same reality in different ways irl.
i really love that the last phrase in the book is "her mind was filled with sour thoughts" -- looking forward to using that one!
― La Lechera, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:42 (twelve years ago) link
also, whose hand is it? it simply says "the hand"
― La Lechera, Monday, 2 January 2012 23:48 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.freewebs.com/studiocube/Link_Against_the_Master_Hand.jpg
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Monday, 2 January 2012 23:53 (twelve years ago) link
http://notcoming.com/animation/images/trnka_hand.gif
― questino (seandalai), Tuesday, 3 January 2012 00:02 (twelve years ago) link
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b1/Hand_of_Omega.jpg
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Tuesday, 3 January 2012 00:04 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.iteetude.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Foam-Monster-In-Emotional-Reunion-With-Severed-Limb.jpg
― Quoth the raven "Nevermind" (ledge), Tuesday, 3 January 2012 00:07 (twelve years ago) link
http://mightyredpen.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/handfeardvd.jpg
― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Tuesday, 3 January 2012 00:10 (twelve years ago) link
I like that the lady on the cover is curled up like a rabbit, and also there is a rabbit hopping out of the disease gravestones and there is a human figure growing out of its ears.
The images in these magazines are really amazing! That's where the nurses came from too. There are so many that I'm just sort of saving for later.
I also dug up my 1977 Clemente yearbook, which is so full of interesting faces that I could cry.
― Laura Lucy Lynn (La Lechera), Monday, 27 February 2012 17:20 (twelve years ago) link
well, i guess i started a tumblrlet's see if i can keep this together?! i'm going to try.hasn't been too taxing so far, maybe i can allow the world to see these things now?
the username is the same as the silly stagename i chose
dolores + genus name for goldenrod
any suggestions for maintaining copyright on the images?
emily, i may use your description if anyone ever asks what i'm doing :)
― two overweight dachshunds with three eyes (La Lechera), Tuesday, 17 April 2012 14:14 (twelve years ago) link
here is an interesting george lakoff lecture about how he started thinking about conceptual metaphor, cold rainy day, 5 students, a woman comes into class late covered in rain and crying.
he relates a story of a a young woman (above) who talks about her relationship with her boyfriend during class (lol Berkeley in the 70s) and how it is a "dead end street" -- this leads to a discussion about romantic love and the phrases used to describe it
"...English has a lot of expressions where love is seen as a journey"
watch it! he's awesome (he does a lot of political discourse analysis these days, super interesting too but not relevant, worth watching though for sure!!)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu-9rpJITY8
― former personal denim advisor to the mayor, (La Lechera), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 03:52 (twelve years ago) link
a friend was recently excited about the romance novel phrase "her creamy sheath", which she'd encountered somewhere on the internet. i thought it suggested canneloni more than arousal.
― Choc. Clusterman (contenderizer), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 04:56 (twelve years ago) link
one en, two els
'creamy sheath' sounds more Penthouse Forum than romance novel, ew
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 05:12 (twelve years ago) link
yeah, it's not terribly enticing
― Choc. Clusterman (contenderizer), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 05:17 (twelve years ago) link
just a little boomp
for this
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7216/7091859683_8f9194f93d_b.jpg
― game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 22:02 (twelve years ago) link
50 shades of grey is basically this thread, right?
― phooey and nuts and phooey (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 15:37 (twelve years ago) link
50 Shades of Grey wishes it were this thread.
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 16:02 (twelve years ago) link
awesome
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 16:03 (twelve years ago) link
anyway if you guys wanna see my tumblr, where i am adding a bit more meat (hehehe) to the story, it's hereall or most of the captions are from the phrasebook as wellhttp://doloressolidago.tumblr.com/
― game of crones (La Lechera), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 17:55 (twelve years ago) link
omg i just found these atrocious scripts for a "choose your own sex adventure" service thing (i saw it on jezebel) and i wonder what would happen if these abysmal scripts collided with the romance writer's phrasebook??! http://s3.amazonaws.com/WP_redirect/media/Sexy-Tales-Female-Script.pdfhttp://s3.amazonaws.com/WP_redirect/media/Sexy-Tales-Male-Script.pdf
the one for men is just about the worst thing i have ever read.
― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Monday, 1 July 2013 17:17 (ten years ago) link
holy shit
― Romantic style in da world (crüt), Monday, 1 July 2013 17:18 (ten years ago) link
nsfw if your workplace doesn't want you reading stuff like "mixing your juices with my precum into a miraculous lubricant"
― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Monday, 1 July 2013 17:18 (ten years ago) link
"This is the best."
― Romantic style in da world (crüt), Monday, 1 July 2013 17:19 (ten years ago) link
"Oh yeah, that's nice"
― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Monday, 1 July 2013 17:21 (ten years ago) link
this is the utter worsti actually grew to like the romance writer's phrasebook after a while
― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Monday, 1 July 2013 17:25 (ten years ago) link
The one for men is clearly designed to turn on the man reading it more than the woman to whom it would ostensibly be read.
― carl agatha, Monday, 1 July 2013 17:29 (ten years ago) link
"It’s usually a woman who performs phone sex for the man."
Also "like your wetness" is going to skeeve me out for a long time.
― carl agatha, Monday, 1 July 2013 17:30 (ten years ago) link
lick, not like, but either way: skeevy.
"Press 2 to finish off inside my very moist cavern"
― emil.y, Monday, 1 July 2013 17:31 (ten years ago) link
Lolz
― i didn't even give much of a fuck that you were mod (forksclovetofu), Monday, 1 July 2013 17:33 (ten years ago) link
"OMG! I'm oozing all over you"
http://protoncharging.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/neca_slimer_translucent.gif
― emil.y, Monday, 1 July 2013 17:35 (ten years ago) link
lolol
― free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Monday, 1 July 2013 17:38 (ten years ago) link
btw, i just bought this book based on this threadhttp://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399510028/
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 1 August 2014 16:29 (nine years ago) link
awesome! that's enough to make me post the audio version that i did recently. i was a little embarrassed about it, but what the helli hope you enjoy the book. it's a strange journey from page 1 to "her mind was filled with sour thoughts".
i hid the link bc i don't want it to be googleable! http://bit.ly/1oWeC0L
― cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Friday, 1 August 2014 17:54 (nine years ago) link
fucking awesome.
this book will live in my bathroom prob forever.
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 1 August 2014 18:05 (nine years ago) link
before too long you're going to start assembling your own…i had the book sitting on my shelf for years before i knew what to do with it. now i feel like the possibilities are endless!
― cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Friday, 1 August 2014 18:17 (nine years ago) link
well maybe notthe physical descriptions do lack range
but not DEPTH mirit
― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 1 August 2014 18:21 (nine years ago) link
His eyes were pools of appeal.
― cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Friday, 1 August 2014 18:22 (nine years ago) link
OMG the track. Amazing.
― emil.y, Saturday, 2 August 2014 12:22 (nine years ago) link
hey thanks! i'm proud bc the drums sound pretty good and seem to synch up with the story well enough
― cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Saturday, 2 August 2014 14:43 (nine years ago) link
are you enjoying the romance writer's phrase book y/n
i saw the trailer for the 50 shades movie and it looks AWFULlike "here is a gift of some cherries, now let's hump in my private jet" awful
― cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Tuesday, 11 November 2014 21:20 (nine years ago) link
yesit's nice to have around the house to sweettalk the gal with
― Steve 'n' Seagulls and Flock of Van Dammes (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 11 November 2014 21:25 (nine years ago) link
hahamay your minds be filled with sour thoughts!
― cross over the mushroom circle (La Lechera), Wednesday, 12 November 2014 00:18 (nine years ago) link