"Can I say you're my girlfriend on Facebook?"

in my recommended friends they have just suggested a dude i half new off a message board i haven't posted on in about 7 years and have no current friends from... on a different old computer? how the fuck...?

creepy

Is his email still in your address book? That's how some of my suggestions came about.

nope. even have a different email address ...aaand my facebook account works off a defunct university email that should just be recommending old lecturers

They just know.

Yeah. Never been all BIG BROTHER WATCHING ME before this but

Is his email still in your address book? That's how some of my suggestions came about.

― nickn

Did you give FB your email password? (Through the functionality they have that will check if the people in your address book are already on FB?)

If you have friends in common with people, they'll come up as friend suggestions.

have not done that and don't have any friends in common. my guess is they have figured out my old defunct email address by themselves and that is is me and not any other person on facebook with my name that was once on that message board...? i never even really spoke to the guy, he just had a distinctive enough name that i instantly recognised it.

Maybe if he'd looked at your profile he'd then come up as a suggestion? Esp. if he'd viewed your profile multiple times...ulp

mine suggested some canadian lady i have never heard of and have no friends in common with. i dunno.

ive been told to make friends with Rig0bert Lalo. but i don't know Rig0bert Lalo. who is rig0bert Lalo??

Mine seems to prefer to suggest a) a lot of rock critics b) fashion people c) high school/college alums d) ILXors.

The whole relationship status thing on facebook sucks. Unless you (wisely) remove it from your screen, along with your ladyfriend, it impacts everything.

For instance, if like in my last relationship, your significant other is "not ready" to commit to you, her "single" status attracts all sorts of undesirables while you sit there wanting to wave your hand and go "UH, SHE'S WITH ME, SORTA, K THX".

Likewise, you truly have to have the completely silly conversation hinted at in the title, because if you change your status to In a Relationship with someone specific, and they decline, your status still says "In a Relationship" and theirs doesn't, and you look stupid like you're dating yourself.

Not to mention with some people, it ruins the relationship. No sooner than my last girl and I changed our statuses online, a month later we broke up! All of a sudden the slow pace we were going at, she suddenly wanted us to be at this level that we couldn't possibly have been at (largely due to her inhibitions, but I gave up on the idea that anything she ever did was wrong, everything was always my fault).

Then, two days later, we get back together, but we never updated our statuses on fb again, so our friends were all confused and thought we weren't dating when we were, and then when they finally figured it out, we were broken up, some of my friends didn't find out for a while cuz me and her still hung out for a while (and had sex, which was really stupid of me).

She was dating you but wasn't willing to commit on facebook to a relationship status? What?

And finally the thread title is completely apt!

looooooong story. basically, she had just been dumped by a guy she thought she was gonna get married to two weeks earlier, and had an eye for me, as I did for her, so we hooked up and she wasn't ready to make it 'official'. yet it was kind of dumb - she didn't see anybody else (that I know of,at least).

It was 3 months before she finally changed her status. we dated 8 months but according to facebook, we dated 1. it was ridiculous.

that said, no animosity against her, but just pointing out how facebook messed with us bigtime.

ayo i don't think it's facebook's fault dude

IT HAS A GRIP ON HUMANITY THAT PENETRATES FREE WILL. FREEMASONS ILLUMINATI OH OH OH

The real solution to this "problem" is to not set your relationship status to anything, because the majority of your FB "friends" are probably people you barely care about, and thus they don't really need to know about the vicissitudes of your life life, while your actual friends will presumably be updated on whatever you want them to be updated on about your life when you actually talk to them.

life life --> love life

being that i was a busy guy for much of last year,as was she, we went long periods of time without seeing certain friends on fb, despite the fact that they were our 'good' friends.

everybody knew about her the first go around. not as many people knew as much about the 'get back together' and even lesser knew of the breakup mostly cuz it was around the holidays

life life >>>> love life

80085, the dude probably had YOUR email address in his email account, so that's how FB figured out the connection.

someone accepts my friend request after we had a good chat at a party on friday, then by the time i get round to checking their profile half an hour later they've already defriended me o_O

it's like that song about living in the fast lane, by the eagles

happened to me too,it's annoying, but fuck him/her
xpost

surely no-one's that much of a douche?
xpost guess they are :(

...or maybe you can't do that now..
xpost to myself

You sure they defriended you and didnt just stick you on a limited profile LJ?

(cos for some reason - unless I'm Doin It Rong - you dont seem to be able to tag someone new to a filter as you accept their request, you have to do it *after*, which gives them a short window where they see your entire feed. Sigh.)

They weren't my friend, period. The notification on my wall was gone and the 'Add As Friend' button was active. Very, very strange. Maybe they fucking hate Cardiacs, Irreversible, or really, really long Favourite Quotes

Ah right. Yeah, weird.

not inconceivable.

was it a flirt?

no! was a girl but definitely keepin' it platonic. anyway, some things can't be explained, rich tapestry of life imo

never facebook-friend someone you've met only once imo

wait eight weeks and text her "what's crackin"

never friend request - so if you get one you know they really mean it

actually never facebook-friend someone until they're actually someone reliable in your life imo (or an old schoolmate or a close co-worker)

^^^this is probably gonna be observed from now on, omar's a wise dude xposts and not xposts

dyao that is my normal policy!! except that when i selfbanned i suddenly felt the urge to find+friend a load of ilxors ;) and clearly the impulse hadn't died. plus we can't ALL be the cool ones waiting to be added

what can I say, worked for me!

^^^is clearly not that aloof irl, also plz can everyone bomb him with rq's

people to not facebook friend (beyond the obvious "people i don't actually know")

- girls you met twice
- dudes you met once
- non-immediate family relatives with vastly different takes on politics and society
- co-workers who are at your level or above
- the significant others of friends (unless they add you first...but in that event don't talk to them more on facebook than you talk to your friend...in fact, don't talk to them at all unless it's through your friend)
- old teachers or professors
- bartenders or baristas at bars or coffeeshops you go to, unless they're your friend

people you should consider facebook friending:

- enemies (you can use their status updates against them)
- friends' parents (specifically friends' mothers)
- your significant other's good friends

- co-workers who are at your level or above

This one most important of all. Will never ever ever add current-job workmates of any stripe to FB. Ex-work? Sure, if they became/stayed friends. Workmates, noooo.

everyone at my work facebooks with each other and my super gay boss is always like "did you see my status update last night." i'm not his friend yet though.

ugh, I waited til I left my last job to add the guys I liked. I peeked at a colleague's profile once and they were FB friends with like the whole office, even though they hardly spoke to them in real life. So I thought even if I added the cool ones then others that I don't want to be friends with might start friend-requesting me YES I AM THAT AWESOME

i have friended 2 people. if i don't like someone but have to friend to avoid hurt feelings (or they are olds) i don't mind just putting them on limited. i guess it depends what kind of workplace or what job it is.

This is true I guess. My old workplace, everyone is adding everyone else. Its like some nostalgia trip. 3/4 of them havent worked there in at least 2-4 years, but we somehow all became such a tight knit community everyone's stayed in touch (very odd for a large national telco).