As my granny used to say.....

baldie a haircut "thats some baldie you've got by the way"
juke the inside of your coat/jacket etc. "quick stick it up yer juke!"
shatter someone who has no guts i.e. they shit themselves at the smallest sign of danger
burr dingy i don't believe you

chib - a weapon of indefinable nature (plus can be used as a verb too)

they also use kets for sweets. eg: "howay man, gonna giz yer kets before ah hoof ye in the knackaz?"

(apologies to viz)

RUNNY

is a great word.

When translated to, say, Harald Brattbakk or some other diddy footballer in Scotland, this becomes "he couldnae hit a coo's erse wi' a banjo" which is much more evocative.

Re: Peely-wally, when they announced a concert in memory of John Peel, the Daily Record ran with the headline "Peely Rally", which had me roffling. Or pishing ma keks, if you prefer.

Ooh, just remembered another cracker - ganting which is like desperate/gasping for something "Ah wis pure ganting for a pint/shag/deep fried Mars Bar" etc.

My dad also used to refer to the nastier variety of lucky gits as "snottery orphan"s - generally directed at sporting people who were undeniably good but very dull, therefore worthy of ridicule anyway (top recipient of this insult would have been Steve Davis). I think it showed a grudging respect rather than being an insult. I haven't heard him say it for years, so I think he may have invented it to stop himself swearing in front of his impressionable young childrem.

stet's dad could presumably also fall in a bucket of shit and come up smelling of roses, especially in (the north-west of?) england.

where do people (scots esp) stand on the drop scone/pancake debate? my mum used to make drop scones and call them pancakes, which confused me no end (and led to severe public humiliation from a teacher one sad shrove tuesday).

My grandparents say this as does my mother.

we should rectify this with some kind of GLASGOW PANCAKE FAP. or something.

It's smaller and thicker! My gran would be spinning in her grave if she heard people confusing the two.

And are those big flat ones with the dimples in them crumpets to you?

Did anybodies parents ever talk about having a 'piece on sugar?' Christ, no wonder our oral health is so bad.

My mum still say's 'woe betide you' and 'hell skud it intae ye' as well as 'I'll take my hand off your face' (see Billy Connolly).

I've got one of those magnet sets with all old Glasgow words - but I don't know what some of them mean. I'll check when I get home tonight and you can all translate them for me...

At the moment they spell out the wondrous phrase that is "ya torn faced bowfin ginger specky bampot" (Refers to the bastard ex, I keep it as a reminder)

Stooshie, Rammie, Tumshie...anyone?

Has anyone heard Tumshie Smiley,the news reader on Virgin? It cracks me up everytime I hear her name!

Great thread Rumpie!

I have The Complete Patter by Michael Munro - an essential read for anyone with an interest.

bring them on!

Some bizarre and wrong entries but some classics as well.

and then yer arse fell aff: A term used when someone is bullshitting

Don't know what happened to that the first time I tried to post it.