WHO THE FUCK READS THE DAILY EXPRESS?

please just post this every day for lols.

Best thing about their website is this

http://cdn.images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/comments/nocomments.gif

at the bottom of every story.

"Dictator's war threat to Queen over Falklands"

Did they threaten to play a reunion gig at Buckingham Palace unless oil drilling stops?

thttp://whythatsdelightful.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/the-express-wins-the-race-to-the-bottom/

http://whythatsdelightful.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/the-express-wins-the-race-to-the-bottom/

Yawn, not even trying, 0/10:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Feb/Week4/15558957.jpg

It does have some fantastic comments, though: http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/comments/viewall/160311

lol ashley. of course it would be the mother in law who made you act like a cheating prick.

<3 that dude forever, never change.

Is that good or bad?

Also, Odeon in the UK (and elsewhere? IDK) have changed their mind about boycotting this.

This? You mean the Alice in Wonderland film?

Yeah, sorry : http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8536195.stm

i love that Dannii Monogue is next to the 'we're all racists' story

It does have some fantastic comments, though:

I want one of these puzzles -

This Government has lost all the key pieces, but have cleverly planted their own foreign pieces to ensure their puzzle gets finished favourably to them.

(pretty lowdown trick btw)

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Mar/Week3/15574452.jpgBleedin' foreigners, coming over here, killing their unborn

Meant to look up this thread yesterday, I noticed they were running another Princess Di conspiracy theory on the front page - unfuckingbelievable

This exact same story is all over the place this morning. I wonder what the original source was, journo's wandering around Poland looking at posters seems unlikely.

Sadly as Have Your Say in the Express is closed we have to turn to DM readers for The Truth.

THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY FO OVER 40 YEARS AS I KNOW OF. People have been comming here to have their babies. It is about time this was ALL stopped, MAKE ALL THESE FOREIGNERS PAY FOR THEIR TREATMENT. MAKE THEM PAY FROM TODAY.

- MEL, SANDWICH KENT

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Mar/Week3/15575894.jpg vs http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Mar/Week3/15575918.jpg

"Householders could be

(stopped reading after that)

Gordon Brown has said he wants Britain to become the centre of global Islamic banking; Saudi Arabia and other Islamic states are buying up more and more British and Western companies, and we now have "Sharia-compliant" mortgages.

I had to google "Sharia compliant mortgages" and the first hit was an interesting and informative Guardian article :)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2008/jun/29/mortgages.islam

(looks like a good way to protect yourself from fluctuating rates, thanks Islam!)

Gordon Brown has said he wants Britain to become the centre of global Islamic banking; Saudi Arabia and other Islamic states are buying up more and more British and Western companies, and we now have "Sharia-compliant" mortgages.

And this a bad thing?

"Saudi Arabia and other Islamic states are buying up more and more British and Western companies Premiership clubs" surely?

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Mar/Week4/15585940.jpg

Children as young as five are watching horrific post-watershed TV scenes of sex and violence at the click of a button.

An investigation has revealed millions of children are bypassing strict guidelines and parental controls and watching shows meant for adults by using popular TV internet services such as BBC iPlayer.

i see the bbc is now to blame for 'the internet'

Millions!

One for the record:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Apr/Week2/15597062.jpg

what's the facts behind that headline?

92% of what?!

'jobs

aha- new jobs

Bet they were tempted to do something along the lines of 'EU migrant lesbians coming over here to use our NHS' for the Navratilova story.

should have tried to work in something about how that damned immigrant lenny henry done the dirt on plucky dawn french tbh, but the 'french' bit probably confused them.

"WIN A MIELE WASHER DRYER" - dirty filthy German appliances literally taking over our homes!

those are all cogent observations

co-gent- dirty lefty concept relating to homo marriages

i can't believe i've not noticed this publication before. it's essentially the uk version of 'the onion', right?

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/May/Week3/15633913.jpg

Love how this insinuates that the Conservative government has solved all our housing problems yet all the surveys quoted in the main article show things started improving over the past year under the last lot.

Triumphant return to form, 7/10:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Jun/Week2/15646087.jpg

A++ 10/10 would laugh at again:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Jun/Week2/15647419.jpg

haha wow @ all of that

Needs more Diana, but otherwise almost hyperparodic.

Yesterday's Telegraph had "Obama has his boot on the throat of British pensioners" on the front page.

My parents have started reading it since they retired, I think in Scotland it's the stepping stone when you start realising the Red Tops are all about Britain's Got Talent and people off Hollyoaks so aren't for you any more.

Looking at the circulation figures, I'm amazed that about 10% of their sales are in Scotland tbh.

My parents occasionally read it, though my mum does claim it's just for the articles and my dad likes their puzzle section more than any of their other papers of choice (Daily Record which they have stopped buying totally and Daily Mail, which again is supposedly all about the articles and magazines and word puzzles) - can't see them ever reading a broadsheet, tbh.

why did her parents name her Dead, xpost?

SAY EUROCRATS

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Jun/Week4/15653998.jpg

At least there's a photo of Englishmen descending on South Africa on a scale not witnessed since the Boer War.

Interesting how, even more than the Mail, they've incorporated the embittered, resentful language of their letter-writers. Those headlines which begin "Now", like it's one fucking thing after another. One headline the other day read "Middle-classes bear the brunt, as usual." It's not even outrage, more a grumpy shrug - they just expect things to be bad. Arseholes.

"Now", like it's one fucking thing after another

otm, but hilarious. one foot in the grave, re-imagined as a newspaper. couldn't go wrong, really.

It's only a matter of time before they end articles with "fact" or "end of".

Have they used I'm Not Racist But as a headline yet?

fairly sure that it's in latin on the letterhead