"I'm not going to let corporate America dictate the date or time at which I choose to groom my genitals," said Denver resident Marcus Shannon, adding that Valentine's Day was "invented by the razor industry" to sell grooming devices. "If you really love somebody, you should shave your pubes year-round."
A1
― Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:46 (sixteen years ago)
this made me LOL
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/rise_in_teen_pregnancy_proves
― amuse-douche (s1ocki), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:48 (sixteen years ago)
yeah i've had "coming back with so much thunder it's like they never left" as a phrase in my head all day
― V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:49 (sixteen years ago)
I lold at the very NSFW video about the 2am computer virus.
― mayor jingleberries, Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:55 (sixteen years ago)
lolz: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/latest_sarah_palin_speech_opens
― Neil S, Wednesday, 24 February 2010 16:41 (sixteen years ago)
About right:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/former_prom_king_now_living
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 February 2010 16:45 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_bought_an_awesome_gun_that
bunch of NRA guys all going "how did you get my diary"
― MPx4A, Friday, 26 February 2010 14:51 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/money_0.jpg
― caek, Friday, 26 February 2010 15:54 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/paleontologists_weve_been
― StanM, Saturday, 27 February 2010 22:05 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/sierra_leone_diamond_miner
― ('_') (omar little), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:00 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/senator_dikembe_mutombo_blocks
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:05 (sixteen years ago)
this is my favorite onion article in a long time: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/daytime_nighttime_7_11_clerks_have
― Luz, a saucy taco slinger (hmmmm), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:11 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/denmark_introduces_harrowing_new
― StanM, Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:24 (sixteen years ago)
Tiger Woods article is the best they've done in a long time.
― can it compete with the wagon wheel (Eazy), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:29 (sixteen years ago)
von trier is awesome; this is also killing it:http://www.theonion.com/content/video/report_baby_skull_jewelry_may_be
― forksclovetofu, Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:35 (sixteen years ago)
Von Trier ads A+++++++
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:51 (sixteen years ago)
lolll the club scene
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 28 February 2010 00:00 (sixteen years ago)
it kind of weirds me out how The Onion now has sponsored links to stories on CNN and other legitimate news sources, like i'll look over to the sidebar and think "Death toll in Afghan war nears 1,000...wait that's not funny at all"
― dora the explaro (some dude), Sunday, 28 February 2010 02:56 (sixteen years ago)
http://infinitesummer.org/images/ij_weekender.jpg
― caek, Wednesday, 3 March 2010 21:57 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/breaking_news_some_bullshit (via)
― ksh, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:26 (sixteen years ago)
"I'm just some fucking guy."
― Il suffit de ne pas l'envier (Michael White), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:31 (sixteen years ago)
"I talked to this random expert on the subject who told me this thing you're about to hear him say right after he points at a piece of paper."
― ksh, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:36 (sixteen years ago)
hahaaa
"and free-associate about what's going on"
― mind crystals over matter (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:37 (sixteen years ago)
"this is some footage of congress""i can see that"
― max, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:40 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/houseguest_just_going_to_lie_there
extra credit for subject's name
― sometimes I feel like throwing my glands up in the air (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:00 (sixteen years ago)
R.I.P.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/mytron_the_fifth_illuminati
― StanM, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:23 (sixteen years ago)
That houseguest one! A++++
― Not the real Village People, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:54 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/u_s_blowjobless_rate_at_all_time
― goole, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:59 (sixteen years ago)
looool at bullshit video
I'm an old man so you can trust me!
― noted schloar (dyao), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 01:12 (sixteen years ago)
Hahah that houseguest one is awesome, been there done that (from both sides!)
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 02:02 (sixteen years ago)
TL;DRhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/nation_shudders_at_large_block_of
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 02:03 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/man_on_internet_almost_falls_into
^^ pretty much gets the measure of awe and horror that makes up the internet
― werewolf congress (schlump), Friday, 12 March 2010 13:02 (sixteen years ago)
ROFLMAO@ "That's when I realized the mustard had come between us."
― Fetchboy, Friday, 12 March 2010 13:28 (sixteen years ago)
i have a friend who is exactly like that dude.
― n00b jack city (deej), Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:02 (sixteen years ago)
does he post to the internet about mustard a lot?
― ksh, Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:22 (sixteen years ago)
if only they had written that article about music instead of mustard
― ksh, Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:25 (sixteen years ago)
The historically fluid blowjob market reached its climax in 1996, when millions of wives and girlfriends vigorously stimulated the privates sector.
thumbs up
― :( (Curt1s Stephens), Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:32 (sixteen years ago)
Well they say that helps it along!
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Sunday, 14 March 2010 21:50 (sixteen years ago)
― ksh, Sunday, March 14, 2010 4:25 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
i dont think u get why the article is funny
― n00b jack city (deej), Thursday, 18 March 2010 00:56 (sixteen years ago)
Pope Forgives Molested Children
― ned ragú (suzy), Saturday, 20 March 2010 18:51 (sixteen years ago)
― n00b jack city (deej), Wednesday, March 17, 2010 7:56 PM (3 days ago)
explain?
― ksh, Saturday, 20 March 2010 19:19 (sixteen years ago)
it's funny because mustard is a funny word
― iiiijjjj, Saturday, 20 March 2010 19:22 (sixteen years ago)
Boy's Tragic Death Could Have Happened To Any Family With 20-Foot Pet Python
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he6O9nZ3CZs
A+++ Bone-dry deadpan perfection. "Today Now" is so brilliant.
Someone should put together a DVD set of the best of the ONN. They've completely raised their game since the movie.
― Cricket riding a tumbleweed (Plasmon), Sunday, 21 March 2010 09:38 (sixteen years ago)
^^^ pitch perfect mapping onto of this:
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/toddler-dies-mistaking-gun-wii-controller/story?id=10056190
― 丫 power (dyao), Sunday, 21 March 2010 09:48 (sixteen years ago)
They've completely raised their game since the movie.
The Onion didn't make The Onion Movie
― parm goin' ham (sic), Sunday, 21 March 2010 10:15 (sixteen years ago)
Hasan, my man, if you don't give me a high five right now, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
― kenan, Sunday, 21 March 2010 10:44 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-government-to-save-billions-by-cutting-wasteful,17171/
― The Reverend, Saturday, 3 April 2010 01:52 (sixteen years ago)
A+! Were they doing real news on April 1st? Sounds quite plausible, tbh.
― StanM, Saturday, 3 April 2010 03:55 (sixteen years ago)
http://media.theonion.com/images/articles/article/1808/Bob-Marley-Jump-C.jpg
― ✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 3 April 2010 04:23 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/freakonomist-keeps-close-eye-on-ge-stock-versus-he,17202/
― rip sarah silverman 3/19/10 never forget (history mayne), Monday, 5 April 2010 16:52 (sixteen years ago)