Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

why shouldn't i be on a bus i've worked all my life and paid my taxes not like these ruffian immigrants

tbh old women on buses in my area read the Daily Express, although admittedly that's not much better than the DM.

yes well i've heard all about the old women in your area yes indeed i have

Dmac, you don't spell 'Russian' with an 'ff'. And it's more bloody Poles round here, not bleedin' commies.

i have a fpeech impediment

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/10/article-0-083C426D000005DC-193_964x644.jpg

The "joke" is - 'I've voted Labour all my life, vicar; and fully support their quest for a multicultural society.'

why are the pews so far back? RIDICULOUS

Go on, it's going to be something like "Do ewe take this man..." isn't it?

Trusting that this is all true:

BBC TV presenter Kristian Digby was found dead after a solo sex game went tragically wrong, police believe.

The 32-year-old, who was discovered at his East London flat yesterday morning, is thought to have accidentally suffocated himself while indulging in auto-erotic asphyxiation - the practice of cutting off the blood supply to the brain to heighten sexual arousal.

The Mail can reveal that a belt and a bag have been taken away for examination by officers.

The page you have requested does not exist or is no longer available

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254693/BBC-presenter-Kristian-Digby-dead-east-London-flat.html

more sensitive url, same story

ah, I didn't bother to look at that article, assuming they'd have retracted this whole bit. They're gonna have to keep Jan Moir locked in a cupboard for a few weeks, ya?

Get Jane Moir to write an article on Digby's passing, and don't have the 'Gay Rights' lobbyists enforce a retraction or mealy-mouthed apology.
She was right about Gately and the "dark heart" quotation.
- Bob, Alcossebre Spain, 2/3/2010 9:11

Not that I've any interest in defending the Mail but isn't that fairly straight tabloid reporting, albeit based on nothing more than an unsubstantiated "thought to have"?

It's not like it says "DEAD GAY ERGO PROB PERVERT SEX GAME ERGO HE DESERVED IT".

And they say the Mail is obsessed with house prices:

Thats a pity, but the UK property market, which he did so much to promote, has been rising recently. There could be no better epitaph for Christian.

- Drake Pike, Beijing, 2/3/2010 0:53

Thanks for that consoling thought, Mr Drain Pipe of Beijing.

DEAD PERSON WAS WEARING A BELT, MUST HAVE INVOLVED MASTERBATION IN HIS DEATH, ALSO FUCK THE BBC, ALSO THERE WAS A BAG IN HIS HOUSE

LOL and otm! ^
I find it really bizarre that the daily mail is very vocal about being anti-fascist especially when talking about groups like the BNP yet still manage to maintain what are clearly deeply conservative and prejudiced views about every single thing under the sun including the state of Michelle Obama's arms and the cost of biscuits.

I am glad the important fact that he was a millionaire was highlighted in the headline. Good on you, Daily Mail, you shower of bastards.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1255529/Michael-Foot-good-Old-Footy-No-dangerous-deluded-hypocrite.html

Richard Littlejohn stomps all over Michael Foot for writing about Hitler rather than fighting him, and fails to tell us all about his own distinguished military service.

"dangerous". what, is he scared of tripping over his corpse?

oh, if you manage to scroll down far enough he reckons a black man growing a beard makes him look like a terrorist.

lol didnt actually click on the link. only reasons to ever click on a daily mail link is to be able to quote it when making official complaints and cos they have good sports photos.

Sort-of ironically, I briefly mistook Ashley Cole's photo on the front of the Daily Star for Gary Bushell this morning

oironically

haha x2

To be honest, if you watch TV's 24 all the terrorists seem to be multi-millionaires with infidelities and fast flashy cars.

Meanwhile, back in the real world

Oi, Doris, I didn't know Lord Ashcroft lived in Belize.

Belsize Park, you mean?

Nah, Belize.

Where's that, then?

Dunno, actually. Might be near Marbella.

surely more daily mail readers would have heard of belize than belsize park?

Gonna steal 'oironically' and claim it as my own tbh

Didn't Bin Laden once buy 35 Arsenal shirts in one go? I blame him for the riches that have spoiled young Ashley.

Some people will belize anything they read. xxp

I take it that your memoirs about your service in Northern Ireland and the Falklands can be expected any day soon then, Richard.

- harryrobb, edinburgh, 5/3/2010 12:34

good job harryrobb

Richard Littlejohn stomps all over Michael Foot

Much as I'd like to, can't really bash him for doing this cos pretty sure I'll be doing the same once Maggie carks it.

That Ashley Cole looks like a terrorist thing is outstandingly Mail-like.

Though "Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole has started to grow a beard since splitting from his wife Cheryl" made me laugh, presumably has to grow his own beard since his current one is divorcing him. Allegedly.

tscchhhh

naturally should consider that c tweedy would never have got this big without having something to attenuate for the racial assault conviction

We should have hung them when they were ten. Killing children is wrong and should be punished by death.

- Pritesh Hathalia, Leicester, 8/3/2010 9:02

^has to be a troll shrly?

http://i50.tinypic.com/vq5g5l.png

whoops.... beat me to it.

pretty sure I drew pictures like that when I was a lad. Sorry about all that murdering what I did.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1256078/Jon-Venables-serving-life-hes-jail-not.html - a columnist who isn't a psychopath, an interesting gimmick from the DM.

though we appear to have forgotten about the number of adults who at the time saw but didn’t report this scenario

The Sun went fucking ape over this at the time, labelling these witnesses as complicit in the whole thing.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/mar/11/facebook-daily-mail

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Mar/Week2/15573336.jpg
Fourth paragraph:

Shadow Immigration Minister Damian Green said the advert exposed the hollowness of Gordon Brown's pledge to create 'British jobs for British workers'. He added: 'He must regret ever saying that because it has proved a cruel deception for millions of the unemployed.'

Last night, Forza AW claimed the advert was 'a mistake due to a breakdown in communications and should never have gone out'.

Yesterday, Mr Hilliard, claimed the advert's wording was a mistake and due to a 'breakdown in communications' between his firm and OSR Recruitment.

He said he was unaware of the 'Must speak Polish' clause until The Mail on Sunday alerted him to it.

'In normal circumstances, this ad would have been vetted and the error removed,' said the 51-year-old, who is Forza's chief executive and principal shareholder, owning 60 per cent of the company. 'But following the chaos of the fire, and the necessity to quickly set up production with 400 workers in another part of the country, the mistake was made but wasn't spotted.
'We employ many English workers as well as Poles and Lithuanians, though I can't give you exact figures, and I assure you categorically that all our training and health and safety briefings are conducted in English, Polish or whatever the employee speaks.
'I cannot say how this error came about, perhaps a glib comment was made about the difficulty of operating in several different languages, I don't know, but we would never turn down an English person for a job on the basis that they didn't speak Polish or any other language.

Also note the disturbing new trend of charging for the freebie CD.

It's for a charity though.

yeah, but £37 for a Mail on Sunday?

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Mar/Week4/15586506.jpg

Surprised the headline isn't "PILLS FOUND TO CURE CANCER?".

And I'm sure this is down to ever increasing numbers of heart attack and cancer survivors rather than kiddies having slimming pills and anti-depressants stuffed down their pillholes.