Best snippet of overheard conversation

And then...
A: Why do they call it a sweet tooth? If you had a tooth that was actually sweet, you probably wouldn't want to eat candy. It'd just be too much.
(silence from B)

And, finally, sparked by the [usually painfully simple] Who Am I trivia game that plays every few minutes on the bus televisions:
A: JFK.
B: Um, that's Jesse Jackson.
A: Oh. (pause) Haha, you know presidential faces. You're a loser.

Actually I remember being the same age as those guys and making the same argument about Sylvia Plath.

citykid 1: [...]crackheads in my building, not even living there, just like on the stairs.
citykid 2: where did you live?
citykid 1: franklin & park. i used to pour water on them, to wake them up, like in the middle of winter. and they'd run around outside. cracksicles!
citykid 2: cracksicles! dude you probably killed somebody.
citykid 1: whatever. it's not like they really had a life.

(this is what i wrote down at the time, wish i could remember more of it)

"no, i just make love 'cause i feel a connection, a connection that's cute, and so i make love. you know?
...
can we just go back to being lovers without all the hocus pocus?
...
no, i just didn't know what you were talking about. that must be an issue of yours from a previous relationship.
...
i have to tell you, when i first met you, i broke one of your wine glasses, and then i hid it. open communication, boy, that's hard! whew. forgive me father, for i have sinned. will you spank me now?"

This is just beautiful.

One time - girl on phone "Oh good news! You're not a daddy! Six days late"

then later in the same conversation:

"Ben and Laura! On MY sofa! It was disgusting! They didn't quite reach 4th base but they certainly reached 3rd!"

Then on a different occasion, some kids were describing a party at their school.

"Mrs Johnson caught me on my knees with Darren"

"What were you doing?"

"What do you mean, what I was I doing? I was ON MY KNEES"

wonder if other ppl who've used this bus a lot in the past (e.g. Liz D, Carsmile) have also overheard stuff of a similar nature?

"don't go there, or i'll KILL YOU DEAD! I'LL KILL YOU DEEEEEEEEEAD!"

"This is Ashok. he's a Brahmin"

"Oh right....they've demolished the Bullring now, haven't they? And I can never remember which is which out of New St and Moor St stations. Bournville's lovely...I think Chocolate World must be one of my favourite museums in the whole country"

"No not Brummie, Brahmin!"

Him: Do you want to get off at this stop?
Me: No, I don't like walking under that bridge.
Him: Why? Because of the troll?
Me: Well, I never have any change....
Him: I went down to the Sainsbury's and got some Troll Chow, so I keep some on me, you know, just in case.
Me: I don't believe a thing you're saying.
Him: You don't?
Me: No. You're not the kind of person who has the foresight to buy Troll Chow.
Him: .....

(note: the question "is she ridin'?" was common among Dublin blokes of a certain age a few years back: it translates as "has she become sexually active yet?") I don't know if it translates too well for those not familiar with Irish dirtyness...

Hi Richard, this is Dr Davies, sorry to hear things aren't going so well at the moment. If you come into the surgery I have a new cream you could try, and we can talk about possible surgery.

For some reason we all assumed it was genital related.

Dad: "Well if its just monkeys then we're not going, because I've seen Monkeys"

Son (lifts head from shoveling chimichanga into face and lazily says): Yeah, you've seen monkeys...but you haven't seen monkeys...a lot.

at this point, the two ppl disappeared out of the door to the staircase which leads to the smoking area, so I never heard the rest!

Earlier:

"You put it in the green washing up bowl"

"What green washing up bowl?"

"There, in front of the bald man"

Girl: It’s weird, in my new story the main character is addicted to coffee and I don’t even drink coffee!
Guy: Maybe the coffee is a metaphor.
Girl: Oh yeah.

2. Sometime in 02

Girl 1: My mom called me an “atheist” this morning, can you believe that?
Girl 2: She thinks you worship the devil and stuff?
Girl 1: Nooo, that’s Wiccan!

"Only children are the worst. Everyone I know with issues is an only child."

I wince and go back to reading my book but before I leave the same girl, who has been slagging off her bf and his family for the last 20 minutes says,

"Well, I think that families that yoga together, stay together."

First time I've heard yoga as a verb.

G--ff! This was in Minneapolis, wasn't it? I used to live off of Columbus, near Franklin & Chicago. Right behind the morphine clinic!

Well, I think that families that yoga together, stay together.

My aunt is a very well respected yoga teacher and so insane at family gatherings that I avoid her like the plague.

Maybe he was just negotiating with one of his other personalities.

"The end of July"

"Oh, so next year, then?"

"No this year."

"But we're in August now"

"oh yeah!"

1: It's not pronunced "Porsh" it's "Porsha".
2: Is it?
1: Yeh man, if you go for a job interview with Porsche and pronounce it wrong then you don't get a job. You have to pronounce it "Porsha"
2: Didn't know that
1: Yeh, they'll be all like "Fuck off mate - it's Porsha".

Coworker1: How far up does it go?
Coworker2: Pretty much all the way. I've got to put my medication on it now, if you want to see it.
Coworker1: YEAH! We should tell Nick to stay in his room for a few minutes, though.

Man: "god, I havent been here since the last time we were here!"