Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

"But let’s look at Emma Watson for a moment. Is it a coincidence that she is the highest-paid actress in the world – and also incredibly young, known only for her portrayal of a virginal schoolgirl?

You might have thought Meryl Streep would have been up there on that list somewhere. Or Helen Mirren, or the director Kathyrn Bigelow. But no. The richest (and I hesitate to use the word powerful here) woman in Hollywood is also necessarily the weakest: a child."

Gotta admit I'm pretty surprised the director Kathyrn Bigelow isn't one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood.

The richest (and I hesitate to use the word powerful here) woman in Hollywood is also necessarily the weakest

How does she know? Emma might be pretty handy.

Yeah, and she's not, um, a child.

Cue the 'hot, ready and legal' thread in ...

The most powerful men are inevitably all ancient and unglamorous with old-lady arms: James Cameron, Steven Spielberg and their ilk. Like Islam, Hollywood is a clannish, backwards-thinking, oppressive, patriarchal society intent on keeping women firmly in their place.

Old-lady arms?

Is it a coincidence that she is the highest-paid actress in the world – and also incredibly young, known only for her portrayal of a virginal schoolgirl?

Yes. Oh crap , whole tenuous idea for article goes down plughole, never mind keep going to the end, can I throw something in about Obama...

The "old lady arms" line makes me picture a naked Mr Burns

This piece is just amazing. "We may not have pushed Emma Watson into a shallow grave and shovelled dirt into her mouth until she stopped struggling but we have enjoyed seeing her in a popular movie franchise based on books for children, and isn't that, in a sense, JUST AS SHAMEFUL?"

The use of 'virginal' is the key:

People can become famous, but if they were virgins when that happened, they must STAY that way or risk the DM disapproval.

cf: Charlotte Church, Britters, etc..

Let’s make it a war between genders

That conclusion. This is definitely the worst article I have ever seen.

Yeah, focusing on "virginal" was a bit weird, I'm not sure it would be the first word I'd use to describe Hermione. Not that it's not true, but she does have a strong character and personality and I've never noticed any emphasis on her virginal purity or anything like that. But it probably wouldn't fit the article quite so much if the highest paid female role in Hollywood was a girl who works hard and easily outsmarts all the boys in her class.

Mark G OTM

Summary: old person is jealous of young person.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1250094/Greece-debt-crisis-Britons-pay-3-5bn-bailout.html

Man it must be fun to write these articles. I mean, the only point of some newspaper sites is to collect pageviews for the ads and getting 250 instant retard answers doesn't even need subtlety anymore. Why don't they just have a daily series of articles called "Muslims!" "Foreigners!" "Bankers!" "Politicians!" (etc, etc, etc) -> "have your say!" and leave the actual news to real newspapers?

i thought that this was already the understood arrangement?

Ah, ok then. We have a couple of publications that are sinking to that kind of level over here in Belgium too now and people still seem to think they're newspapers. (most of their stuff is internet-sourced and the pics are screenshots of The Sun/Daily Mail/Daily Star/whatever sites. Plus, they add their own errors and spelling mistakes.)

pity anyone that consider DM a 'news' paper, and that's from an ilxor that would prob be considered closer to stereotypical DM reader than just about anyone else regularyl using this site.

You're an old woman on a bus?

why shouldn't i be on a bus i've worked all my life and paid my taxes not like these ruffian immigrants

tbh old women on buses in my area read the Daily Express, although admittedly that's not much better than the DM.

yes well i've heard all about the old women in your area yes indeed i have

Dmac, you don't spell 'Russian' with an 'ff'. And it's more bloody Poles round here, not bleedin' commies.

i have a fpeech impediment

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/10/article-0-083C426D000005DC-193_964x644.jpg

The "joke" is - 'I've voted Labour all my life, vicar; and fully support their quest for a multicultural society.'

why are the pews so far back? RIDICULOUS

Go on, it's going to be something like "Do ewe take this man..." isn't it?

Trusting that this is all true:

BBC TV presenter Kristian Digby was found dead after a solo sex game went tragically wrong, police believe.

The 32-year-old, who was discovered at his East London flat yesterday morning, is thought to have accidentally suffocated himself while indulging in auto-erotic asphyxiation - the practice of cutting off the blood supply to the brain to heighten sexual arousal.

The Mail can reveal that a belt and a bag have been taken away for examination by officers.

The page you have requested does not exist or is no longer available

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254693/BBC-presenter-Kristian-Digby-dead-east-London-flat.html

more sensitive url, same story

ah, I didn't bother to look at that article, assuming they'd have retracted this whole bit. They're gonna have to keep Jan Moir locked in a cupboard for a few weeks, ya?

Get Jane Moir to write an article on Digby's passing, and don't have the 'Gay Rights' lobbyists enforce a retraction or mealy-mouthed apology.
She was right about Gately and the "dark heart" quotation.
- Bob, Alcossebre Spain, 2/3/2010 9:11

Not that I've any interest in defending the Mail but isn't that fairly straight tabloid reporting, albeit based on nothing more than an unsubstantiated "thought to have"?

It's not like it says "DEAD GAY ERGO PROB PERVERT SEX GAME ERGO HE DESERVED IT".

And they say the Mail is obsessed with house prices:

Thats a pity, but the UK property market, which he did so much to promote, has been rising recently. There could be no better epitaph for Christian.

- Drake Pike, Beijing, 2/3/2010 0:53

Thanks for that consoling thought, Mr Drain Pipe of Beijing.

DEAD PERSON WAS WEARING A BELT, MUST HAVE INVOLVED MASTERBATION IN HIS DEATH, ALSO FUCK THE BBC, ALSO THERE WAS A BAG IN HIS HOUSE

LOL and otm! ^
I find it really bizarre that the daily mail is very vocal about being anti-fascist especially when talking about groups like the BNP yet still manage to maintain what are clearly deeply conservative and prejudiced views about every single thing under the sun including the state of Michelle Obama's arms and the cost of biscuits.

I am glad the important fact that he was a millionaire was highlighted in the headline. Good on you, Daily Mail, you shower of bastards.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1255529/Michael-Foot-good-Old-Footy-No-dangerous-deluded-hypocrite.html

Richard Littlejohn stomps all over Michael Foot for writing about Hitler rather than fighting him, and fails to tell us all about his own distinguished military service.

"dangerous". what, is he scared of tripping over his corpse?

oh, if you manage to scroll down far enough he reckons a black man growing a beard makes him look like a terrorist.

lol didnt actually click on the link. only reasons to ever click on a daily mail link is to be able to quote it when making official complaints and cos they have good sports photos.

Sort-of ironically, I briefly mistook Ashley Cole's photo on the front of the Daily Star for Gary Bushell this morning

oironically

haha x2

To be honest, if you watch TV's 24 all the terrorists seem to be multi-millionaires with infidelities and fast flashy cars.

Meanwhile, back in the real world

Oi, Doris, I didn't know Lord Ashcroft lived in Belize.

Belsize Park, you mean?

Nah, Belize.

Where's that, then?

Dunno, actually. Might be near Marbella.

surely more daily mail readers would have heard of belize than belsize park?

Gonna steal 'oironically' and claim it as my own tbh

Didn't Bin Laden once buy 35 Arsenal shirts in one go? I blame him for the riches that have spoiled young Ashley.

Some people will belize anything they read. xxp

I take it that your memoirs about your service in Northern Ireland and the Falklands can be expected any day soon then, Richard.

- harryrobb, edinburgh, 5/3/2010 12:34

good job harryrobb