reminds me of that scene in dumb and dumber where they behead the blind girls parrot and put it back on with foil. and the girl just sits there and pets it and waits for it to talk. made me all sad in fifth grade.
― dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:48 (sixteen years ago)
going out with jean teasdale made me sad in 5th grade
― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:53 (sixteen years ago)
that dog story is almost perfect in its commitment to cruel comedy
― PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! (HI DERE), Thursday, 4 February 2010 15:25 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/feb-01-2010
Editorial cartoons are back, though this one seems out of character for a true, America-lovin' Dem-hatin' patriot like Kelly.
― a black white asian pine ghost who is fake (Telephone thing), Thursday, 4 February 2010 23:50 (sixteen years ago)
OMG the Jean Teasdale site. I love the URL, that just makes it perfect.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Friday, 5 February 2010 00:20 (sixteen years ago)
Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti'
more otm and sad than funny.
― dyao, Friday, 5 February 2010 06:23 (sixteen years ago)
"Allowing gays to serve openly in the Army is a long overdue reform, but it must be accompanied by an assurance that heterosexuals will be able to serve openly in the Navy."
― MPx4A, Friday, 5 February 2010 12:55 (sixteen years ago)
holy lol
NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission
― sleepingbag, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:05 (sixteen years ago)
Hahahah @ all the Major toms.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:11 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyNasaBudget.jpg
― am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:14 (sixteen years ago)
lol @ "'red' alert"
― wall•egina (s1ocki), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:17 (sixteen years ago)
GULP!
― am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:24 (sixteen years ago)
lol @ Spock's boneyness, Kirk's stoutness, and Uhura as Lady Liberty (skirt is too long, though).
― nickn, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 00:37 (sixteen years ago)
liberty's got olive oyl knees!
― international slackness (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 02:38 (sixteen years ago)
So does Kirk. And so are the elbows and shoulders.
― you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 03:56 (sixteen years ago)
Wal-Mart Cuts Over 13,000 Of What It Calls Jobs
― international slackness (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 10 February 2010 11:46 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Bill-later.jpg
― Darin, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:41 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/20_000_tons_of_pubic_hair_trimmed
― goole, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:43 (sixteen years ago)
i love it when they go gross
"Bzzzzzzzz," he added. "Timber!"
megalols
― you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 12 February 2010 21:23 (sixteen years ago)
haaa i came to post that magazine cover
― V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:29 (sixteen years ago)
"I'm not going to let corporate America dictate the date or time at which I choose to groom my genitals," said Denver resident Marcus Shannon, adding that Valentine's Day was "invented by the razor industry" to sell grooming devices. "If you really love somebody, you should shave your pubes year-round."
A1
― Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:46 (sixteen years ago)
this made me LOL
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/rise_in_teen_pregnancy_proves
― amuse-douche (s1ocki), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:48 (sixteen years ago)
yeah i've had "coming back with so much thunder it's like they never left" as a phrase in my head all day
― V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:49 (sixteen years ago)
I lold at the very NSFW video about the 2am computer virus.
― mayor jingleberries, Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:55 (sixteen years ago)
lolz: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/latest_sarah_palin_speech_opens
― Neil S, Wednesday, 24 February 2010 16:41 (sixteen years ago)
About right:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/former_prom_king_now_living
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 February 2010 16:45 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_bought_an_awesome_gun_that
bunch of NRA guys all going "how did you get my diary"
― MPx4A, Friday, 26 February 2010 14:51 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/money_0.jpg
― caek, Friday, 26 February 2010 15:54 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/paleontologists_weve_been
― StanM, Saturday, 27 February 2010 22:05 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/sierra_leone_diamond_miner
― ('_') (omar little), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:00 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/senator_dikembe_mutombo_blocks
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:05 (sixteen years ago)
this is my favorite onion article in a long time: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/daytime_nighttime_7_11_clerks_have
― Luz, a saucy taco slinger (hmmmm), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:11 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/denmark_introduces_harrowing_new
― StanM, Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:24 (sixteen years ago)
Tiger Woods article is the best they've done in a long time.
― can it compete with the wagon wheel (Eazy), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:29 (sixteen years ago)
von trier is awesome; this is also killing it:http://www.theonion.com/content/video/report_baby_skull_jewelry_may_be
― forksclovetofu, Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:35 (sixteen years ago)
Von Trier ads A+++++++
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:51 (sixteen years ago)
lolll the club scene
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 28 February 2010 00:00 (sixteen years ago)
it kind of weirds me out how The Onion now has sponsored links to stories on CNN and other legitimate news sources, like i'll look over to the sidebar and think "Death toll in Afghan war nears 1,000...wait that's not funny at all"
― dora the explaro (some dude), Sunday, 28 February 2010 02:56 (sixteen years ago)
http://infinitesummer.org/images/ij_weekender.jpg
― caek, Wednesday, 3 March 2010 21:57 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/breaking_news_some_bullshit (via)
― ksh, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:26 (sixteen years ago)
"I'm just some fucking guy."
― Il suffit de ne pas l'envier (Michael White), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:31 (sixteen years ago)
"I talked to this random expert on the subject who told me this thing you're about to hear him say right after he points at a piece of paper."
― ksh, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:36 (sixteen years ago)
hahaaa
"and free-associate about what's going on"
― mind crystals over matter (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:37 (sixteen years ago)
"this is some footage of congress""i can see that"
― max, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 18:40 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/houseguest_just_going_to_lie_there
extra credit for subject's name
― sometimes I feel like throwing my glands up in the air (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:00 (sixteen years ago)
R.I.P.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/mytron_the_fifth_illuminati
― StanM, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:23 (sixteen years ago)
That houseguest one! A++++
― Not the real Village People, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:54 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/u_s_blowjobless_rate_at_all_time
― goole, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 19:59 (sixteen years ago)
looool at bullshit video
I'm an old man so you can trust me!
― noted schloar (dyao), Wednesday, 10 March 2010 01:12 (sixteen years ago)