Kids In The Hall - what's your favorite sketch(es)

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ho dee oh um doh um day
ho dee oh um day HEY!
ho dee oh um doh um day
FATTENING UP OUR TAPEWORM

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

anyone remember the one (not sure which two are in it, maybe kevin and bruce) where two guys are living in this pigsty of an apartment and they're "playing this game" of throwing empty beer bottles and smashing them all over the place?

ARGH YES! BOUNCY BALL!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

metfigga, it was Kevin and Mark-

"and my 8th favorite band is the Smiths, and my 7th favorite band is the Pogues" or something, is what she says before she goes to "change into something more comfortable."

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

can I be the first to say:

earth quaka, earth quaka, whole lotta shakin' goin' on.

son, your mother left me.

Bell biv devoe, bell beiv devoe...

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

- "Brace yourself....you've been sleeping for.....twenty minutes"

- Dave:
"What's the point of what we do?"
Kevin:
"Sorry, I don't follow you."
Dave:
"Well, I mean we travel 250,000 light years across the universe, abduct humans, probe them anally, and release them."
Kevin:
"Yeah? And?"
Dave:
"Well, doesn't it seem kind of pointless?"
Kevin:
"I really don't think about it."
Dave:
"Well, don't you think you should?"
Kevin:
"No, I don't think I should. I don't think I should question the leadership of our Great Leader."
Dave:
"Oh, come on. I mean, we've been coming here for 50 years and performing anal probes and all that we have learned is that 1 in 10 doesn't really seem to mind."

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, I liked the eradicator.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

CAMERAMAN...THE WHOLE WORLD'S WATCHING YOU CAMERAMAN...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

you're the sole survivor of a 20 minute plane delay...

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone remember the one where Mark is in an office, and he goes up to Kevin and says there's something on his shirt, Kevin looks and Mark taps Kevin's chin, "Made you look", and a couple guys sorta smile at it. But Kevin starts to get paranoid and remembers the incident as Mark smacking him upside the head and everyone pointing at him and laughing, and kills Mark with a shotgun?

bad description, but that one was hilarious.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, memories. I can't wait for that dvd set.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

the food here is terrible, but the waiter's hilarious.

― AaronK (AaronK), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave: "OH! I am SOOOOOOOO happy to meet you!"
Kevin: "Why are you talking to me like that? There's no need for sarcasm."
Dave: "Sarcasm? This is just the way that I TALK when I've met someone as INTELLIGENT as you. It's a VERY RARE symptom that I suffer from."
...
Dave: "Wait! Where are you GOING? I wanted to be YOUR FRIEND!"

I'm paraphrasing, but it's still a great skit.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

The bit in which Bruce is having an affair with Darryl's wife, i.e. The Affair.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

"What did my mother always used to say? Don't pour salt in your eye. Don't pour salt in your eye. Don't pour salt in your eye. Don't pour salt in your eye. Pour salt in your eye."

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

what about the one where dave foley runs around doing inappropriate things to people when no one else is looking? like he punches a guy and does all sorts of horrible stuff when backs are turned, but somehow it all winds up leading to a positive outcome - when the victim is doubled over in pain he finds a $20, etc.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

when Dave and Bruce(?) are visiting the old woman and when she's not looking they beat up her appliances.

the one where Bruce tells his son Scott a bedtime story and the son thinks he's making it up and later the mom says "so if you weren't on a picnic with the bears last friday where were you?"

and for christsakes-

Daddy drank-

How many girls called you today son? Zero?

How many girls called you yesterday son? Zero?

You know what they say, Zero plus Zero equalls FAGGOT. Add it up, you little mathematician.

Oh remember how you said you wanted a puppy son? Well on my way home from work I bought you a puppy...but then I got hungry so I ate it.

I'm just kidding son, I'd never do that. I'd never buy you a puppy.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"My pen!"
"Are those your hands?"

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I searched the transcripts and couldn't find it, but I love the Foley "I Don't Speak English" skit. I've used this line on incredibly stupid customers.(Only once, but it had the right effect, they shut-up and left.)

― Speedy (Speedy Gonzalas), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah, when Scott comes in out of the rain and beats him up.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i've got a spike through my head, a spike through my head, a spike through my head, a spike through my head.

(don't pour salt in your eye is soooo classic..)

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Kevin McDonald in Outkast's "Roses" video makes me real happy

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Too exhausted to read the whole thing, but am I the only one who remembered/liked the "Hands" skit? The one with the two guys in a sauna and one of them has magnificent female breasts and the other guy just won't stop trying to get a hold of them...allstar shit.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Who was that fat dude in the bathtowel that they poked?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, this thread is making me want to spend money I don't have on the dvd box set.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

BELLINI!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it was "to Reg" - the ritualistic murder skit.

I also like the one where Bruce is a tough-guy in a bar and he picks a fight with that big burly dude. So they step out into the alley and Bruce proceeds to get pummeled over and over and over and over again. All the while the crowd just kind of makes "ooooh" and "oh" noises before they begin telling Bruce to "stay down".

― metfigga (metfigga), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"Gentleman, let's think about this...why would anyone bring their GOD to a DOG show?"

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 1 April 2004 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"Okay, you take the good-looking guy, I'll take the reaaaal ugly guy."

(Bruce and Kevin both go for the same guy)

"You think he's good-looking?" "Oh you know, nice smile, honest face."

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 1 April 2004 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"premise beach: what if?" the only one i remember asked what would happen if a guy ran for public office, but instead of hands he had pieces meat attached to his arms.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 1 April 2004 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

It's all about the Serbian cab driver for me.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 1 April 2004 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

the one where Mark is sitting in a chair talking about how he stubbed his toe and it got infected and he's letting the infection spread because he has nothing else to do and has no friends and it's kind of interesting and finally he sticks a fork in his calf and expresses wonder that he doesn't feel anything.

the one where Mark turns on the answering machine and there's dozens of messages from people thanking him for the sex, women, men and finally his mom and at the end he opens up his pants and a bright light shines from his penis.

SNL totally wasted him.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Thursday, 1 April 2004 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

LOOOOOOOOOOPEEEEEEEEEEZZZ!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 1 April 2004 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

The guy that looks like Tracer always cracks me up.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 1 April 2004 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

where the dude (Kevin?) borrows the guy's (Bruce?) 'art' and returns it all fucked up and now I can't talk about my art w/out saying it in that silly voice

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Thursday, 1 April 2004 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

THE ERADICATOR!

― Rudiger Stalansky, Sunday, 4 April 2004 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Money Momentum!!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 9 April 2004 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

kevin and bruce as a couple making an answering machine message.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 9 April 2004 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

seven months pass...

what's the secret password?

(c'mon, somebody please know this)

― ai lien m. draheim (kold_krush), Friday, 3 December 2004 04:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"Fran! Have you turned the boy into a fag yet?!"

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Friday, 3 December 2004 05:43 (twenty-one years ago)

from the gay pride episode:

Scott: Ah, so what? I hate Gay Pride Day. Everyone is so full of themselves, eh? So much attitude.

Dave: Yeah. Too many dykes.

Kevin: [indignant] With that one sentence, you just destroyed 25 years of bridge building between a gay and lesbian community.

Dave: Yeah, that's right Smitty. I just blew up the "Bridge Over The River Queer."

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Friday, 3 December 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

'don't be silly--i would never buy you a puppy'

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 3 December 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"You know that feeling when you don't know whether it's going to be a fart or a shit but you just let it rip anyway?"

― It's hard to kill a horse with a flute (AaronHz), Friday, 3 December 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

'FRESH FROM MY BODY'

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 3 December 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

i had the pear dream again.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:15 (twenty years ago)

"I got a girl pregnant"

― Jimmy Mod: NOIZE BOARD GRIL COMPARISON ANALYST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:17 (twenty years ago)

"is that pie i smell?"
"no, it's the smell of my daddy dying!"

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:31 (twenty years ago)

THE NIGHT OF THE COW

― latebloomer: FUCK CRITICS FUCK YOUR REVIEW, EVEN IF YOU LIKE ME FUCK YOU (latebl, Friday, 2 June 2006 14:42 (twenty years ago)

"mmm...maybe i should cut it off..."

"the ocean, bob? you don't know anyone in the ocean."

"It's like that tree over there - [pontification about tree]. But when you put it all together: icky tree, icky icky tree, i hate that tree! It's much the same with you."

xpost
COW CAR COW CAR COW ... CAR ...

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:44 (twenty years ago)

seriously, what happened to these guys? Dave on celebrity poker? Kevin as perpetual sitcom guest star. Bruce directing comedy flops? Anyone see Dave's movie? I haven't seen that last Guy Maddin film, but was delighted to see one of the Kids doing something of that caliber. Man, Bruce made so many amazing shorts, I'm waiting for his really twisted full length film.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:49 (twenty years ago)

i've lost my drum! i've lost my indian drum!

― bell labs (bell_labs), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:57 (twenty years ago)

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