ILX BOOKS OF THE 00s: THE RESULTS! (or: Ismael compiles his reading list, 2010-2019)

57. Fan-Tan - Marlon Brando and Donald Cammell (2005)
http://home.comcast.net/~flickhead/brando001.jpg

(47 points, 3 votes)

"...it's one of those books that I just had to keep going with, to find out how much worse it could possibly get, and in this regard, the book never once failed me." -Amazon reviewer

56. Black Velvet Masterpieces: Highlights from the Collection of the Velveteria Museum - Caren Anderson and Carl Baldwin (2008)
(55 points, 4 votes)

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/images/or/ORPORvelveteria_ks3643.jpg

55. Alien Agenda: Investigating the Extraterrestrial Presence Among Us - Jim Marrs (2000)
(62 points, 5 votes)
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31TRyRSqGAL.jpg

"He incorporates an ample amount of information from UFO books of the 1960s and 1970s--strange lights on the moon, the ancient-astronaut theories of Erich von Daniken, cattle mutilations, Nazi saucers at the South Pole, the contactees of the 1950s--and updates it credibly with UFO data from the 1980s and 1990s, providing a reasonable survey of abductions, secret underground UFO bases, the MJ-12 group, crop circles, remote viewing, and channeling."

54. A to Izzard: A Harry Stephen Keeler Companion - Fender Tucker (2009)
(131 points, 10 votes)
http://site.xavier.edu/polt/keeler/jackets/ducaglio.jpg

An indispensible guide to the genius of Keeler.

Bloody hell, I forgot that loljoekanswers took over and was thinking proper wtf

53. The Adventures of Larry The Lemur - Ralph Castenada (2004)
(140, 8 votes)
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51yRP7Xdi4L._SS500_.jpg

Arguably one of the best set of Lemur-based adventures of recent years.

52. Making Waves (The Autobiography) - David Hasselhoff (2006)

142 points, 11 votes

http://i46.tinypic.com/aaf47n.jpg
http://i49.tinypic.com/bej75s.jpg
http://i49.tinypic.com/wqq836.jpg
http://i46.tinypic.com/2569tfb.jpg

3.0 out of 5 stars Speedo might've been a little tight while writing this one, July 8, 2007
By Nerd Alert "Xon" (California) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Don't Hassel the Hoff: The Autobiography (Hardcover)
"I didn't want to buy this book; I didn't want to read this book, but I couldn't pass it up. It was like standing in line at the grocery store and trying so hard not to look at the tabloids but failing and finally tearing through the magazine to see who got a new set of boobs.
The good part is you won't be bogged down with a complicated writing style or busy flipping back and forth between "the Hoff" and a dictionary. The juvenile writing style will allow you to fly through this book. On another good note, you will laugh out loud many times at how unbelievably arrogant this guy is. He is friends with every star, the ladies love him, Dirk Nowitzki shoots free throws at 90% because of his music, he leveled the Berlin Wall, oh and he is the most watched TV star of all time. Those are only some of his accomplishments, it takes nearly 300 pages to fit all of them in.
Seriously though, the Hoff could've gotten a little more personal with his life. This book is mostly filled with fluff and doesn't go into much detail about anything the reader might find really interesting. He dances around any wxtra relationships he might've had along the way and side-steps anything that might be controversial. It's like listening to a politician promote himself. He actually goes into great detail about Knight Rider and Baywatch episodes and their meanings, give me a break.
But here I am writing about it, so I guess I'm the sucker. If you find pop-culture funnny maybe you should pick this up for some comic relief. But hide the dust jacket because your friends are certain to give you a hard time for reading about this clown.

Now all I need is a Steven Segal book and I'll be set."

xposts ah! Thanks for that, I heard about Mr Keeler somewhere but then forgot his name. Another victory for the ILX books of the 00s list B-).

Enough pop culture -- now the list gets down to serious business. What made the past ten years of history so historical?

51. The Leadership Genius of George W. Bush - Carolyn B. Thompson and James W. Ware (2002)
(161 points, 13 votes)
http://www.g-8.de/Content/EN/StatischeSeiten/G8/Lebensl_C3_A4ufe/Bilder/george-w-bush,property=poster.jpg

50. An End to Evil: How to Win the War on Terror - David Frum and Richard Perle (2003)
(168 points, 2 votes)
http://www.chris-floyd.com/war/images/030925_ss_iraq_01_jpg.jpg

"But the greatest contribution of "An End to Evil" is its full-throated, passionate defense of the rightness of our cause." - Mona Charen

49. Why the Real Estate Boom Will Not Bust - And How You Can Profit from It: How to Build Wealth in Today's Expanding Real Estate Market - David Lereah (2006)
(190 points, 26 votes)
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_nSTO-vZpSgc/Svdd19dkzTI/AAAAAAAAHRw/emL5TPScBXU/s400/building+topple1.png

“An invaluable book... Today’s real estate markets are booming and Lereah makes a convincing case for why the real estate expansion will continue into the next decade. This book should prove to be a truly practical guide for any household looking to create wealth in real estate.” —Dewey Daane, former governor of the Federal Reserve Board of Governors

48. "Dow, 30,000 by 2008!" Why It's Different This Time - Robert Zuccaro (2008)
(198 points, 31 votes)
http://static.howstuffworks.com//gif/stock-market-trends-2.jpg

"The author is an intelligent fellow with a gift for writing, it is just that he was completely wrong on everything. [...] Now his two mutual funds are out of business." - Amazon reviewer

47. Apollyon Rising 2012: The Lost Symbol Found and the Final Mystery of the Great Seal Revealed - Thomas Horn (2009)
(214 points, 17 votes)
http://www.the2012countdown.com/images/122-doomsday2012.jpg

After the wild fantasies of Frum and Perle, it's refreshing to come back to earth with this pragmatic analysis of the approaching New World Order.

"Horn provides other surprising connections to the year 2012 in the Capitol Dome and structures immediately surrounding D.C., ultimately laying the groundwork for what he calls "the true lost symbol, which Dan Brown completely missed." This symbol is connected to the Capitol Dome as the ancient structural representation of the womb of Isis, and the Obelisk, the ancient representation of the erect male phallus of Osiris. How this is connected to the year 2012 and the return of Osiris/Apollo/Nimrod in Apollyon Rising 2012 is disturbing, especially the magic square in the base of the Washington Monument that "binds" the Bible's influence."

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_YT5lMzCouRo/SLCEdRZpufI/AAAAAAAACYI/EVJZu4yktS4/s400/snapshot20080817214639.jpg

"Mine eyes!"

You guys. It'll be Tuesday before I can get stuck back into this properly I think. Developments in my absence distress me - I'm glad to see Larry the Lemur and I think his presence graces us, but I cannot and will not compete with Hoff.

46. Cheese Problems Solved - PLH McSweeney (2007)

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/412cIU2bZqL._SL500_AA240_.jpg

"For the dedicated cheese enthusiast, this £135 guide promises to answer 200 or so of the most commonly asked questions about cheese and the cheese-making process, 'from problems arising during the preparation of cheesemilk and cheese ripening to queries regarding cheese analysis and the nutritional profile of cheese'. You’ll be delighted to hear that cheddar, blue cheese and mozzarella each merit their own sections."

233 points, 15 votes fyi

there isn't a combination of 15 votes that makes 233 you chancer.

a+ job ruining this thread u guyz

there's a good shout for a mod intervention here, if a mod would be so good.

just a bit of fun let's be cool

Confessions of a Brazilian Bikini Waxer
240 points, 6 votes
http://waxconfessions.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/bktiltlr.jpg

This book is a riot! My wife had a layover at LAX and three people approached her when they saw the cover page. The author has three things going for her: She knows how to treat her clients, she's a creative and expert waxer, and she's got some hilarious stories to share. I promised my wife more approaches from my 747 if she gets a landing strip someday!

btw 20*9 + 10*5 + 3*1

Larry the Lemur is an avid reader, so he fits right in.

Extraordinary Chickens - Stephen Green-Armytage (2000)
241 points, 6 votes
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SqhhJb_P3Kk/SvpQrkb0yMI/AAAAAAAAJ-Q/zUVrESwVj7o/s400/Extraordinary+Chickens+cover.jpg

btw 20*9 + 10*5 + 3*1

― take me to your lemur (ledge), 27 January 2010 17:27 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh no my careful research ruined

It's cool. This has been an amusing, if at times admittedly farcical, half time entertainment during Ismael's unveiling of the results. We should think of this interlude as equivalent to Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson's half time extravaganza during Superbowl XXXVIII in 2004:

http://i46.tinypic.com/33lmhdl.jpg

Like Justin, and certainly Janet, a few of us might indeed have made tits of ourselves whilst Ismael's been away, but as we've seen the ref is back in town and he's about to get the second half underway.

We should also draw comfort from the fact that even though it may have gone tits up during half time in Superbowl XXXVIII, the second half of that game is widely considered to have contributed to what was widely renowned as the "Greatest Superbowl of all time" according to commentators such as Peter King in Sports Illustrated.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Bowl_XXXVIII

http://i45.tinypic.com/282gphg.jpg

So, let's get our pompoms out, oh yeah, start shaking them, Oh Yeah, start stamping our feet and shouting at the top of our voices, OH YEAH, as Ismael runs back down the tunnel to kick off the second half of this wonderful spectacle that is the ILX BOOKS OF THE OOs!!!!!!!!! Give us a S, Give us an "I", give us an "N", Give us an "A", Give us an "I", OH YEAHHHH!!!!!

Take it away, Ismael*! .........

http://i47.tinypic.com/2zgggfn.jpg

* Ismael/Hoff are interchangeable, as desired, as we all know that they have the same relationship as Clark Kent and Superman do; Spain my arse, I know that Ismael was actually in Germany to attend to his adoring fans.

Ismael, if you want, I could take all this stuff off the thread when you come back to repost the ACTUAL non-joke results.

Abbott, is there a way for people who aren't running the blog to intervene in such ways? If so, how is it possible? It surprises me that that would be possible except for a moderator or the host of the site. I'm new to blogs so don't really know how it works, so bear with me please.

This is a message board. I am a moderator so I'd be able to do it, if Ismael wants.

I hope that answers your question. I am kind of confused, I admit, why you think ilxor.com is a blog.

ilxsitenewanswers.com

Keep the cheerleaders, whatever else you do! That photo makes me proud to be an American.

I've learned a valuable lesson here: like babies and bicycles, results threads should not be left unattended. I'm gratified to note that the last few entries have been unnumbered, proving that your phoney system is collapsing in ignominy already - that's cool, it just proves that these things are more difficult than they look.

I'll be back to take care of business on Tuesday - no need to clean up in the meantime. I could've lived without Hoff, but who am I to criticise others' fetishes?

You could start a new thread for the top 59.

43. Speak with the Dead: Seven Methods for Spirit Communication - Konstantinos (2004)
242 points, 7 votes
http://www.ipadrblog.com/uploads/image/telephone-rotary.jpg

"Speak with the Dead is the first book in the modern marketplace to focus on practical, usable techniques for communicating with spirits. This book shows you seven methods for spirit contact:

-catching Electronic Voice Phenomena on tape
-using radio noise to provide spirits with a voice
-capturing ghostly images on videotape
-letting spirits use your computer or telephone
-scrying, establishing telepathic contact with the dead, and holding a seance

Speak with them. They're waiting."

Lard and Lard Adulterations - Harvey Washington Wiley (2009)
(243 points, 8 votes)
http://www.treehugger.com/lard.jpg

A quick grease pit stop on our pilgrimage to Sinai.

41. Confessions of a Bi-Polar Mardi Gras Queen - Marie Etienne (2009)
(210 points, 12 votes)
http://artistryinfaux.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/mardi-gras_500.jpg?w=484&h=356

"The second memoir from former Louisiana aristocrat Etienne is essentially a disjointed retread of her first, Storkbites, wrapped in the bland language of self-discovery lit and tied up with a funny new title. While covering (already-covered) topics like her abusive father, promiscuous streak, mental illness and brother's death, endless reaffirmation gives readers the feeling that Etienne still feels like a victim, and stock expressions of empowerment take the place of serious self-searching. With little in the way of conclusions or narrative arc, Etienne's tales prove frustrating and forgettable. If the tale of this desperate débutante intrigues, readers should pick up the first version (also available from Alluvium) and avoid this undercooked recap." -PW

40. Insulators: A History and Guide to North American Glass Pintype Insulators Price Guide - John and Carol McDougald (2007)
(220 points, 11 votes)
http://www.drumbarracks.org/Original%20Website/images/Insulator3.jpg

"John and Carol McDougald have been active collectors and dealers for 35 years. Both have served as officers in the National Insulator Association. John and Carol are distinguished Lifetime Members of the National Insulator Association and have been awarded the organization's Outstanding Service award multiple times. Carol edited the monthly hobby publication, Crown Jewels of the Wire, for 18 years.

The McDougalds also maintain Grampa Mac's Insulator Emporium, a web-based store for insulators."

The best-of list crashes through the "40" barrier with ease.

39. Man Eating Bugs: The Art and Science of Eating Insects - Faith D'Aluisio (2004)
(225 points, 12 votes)
http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/ManEatingBugs.gif

"The plentiful, gorgeous photographs will take you on an emotional journey, from the depths of disgust to the heights of awe, as you realize that 'the shelves of the supermarket carry only a small slice of what the world has to offer.'"

38. The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything - Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir (2007)
(240 points, 12 votes)
http://theartblog.org/blog/wp-content/uploaded/bracket-288x300.jpg

The bracket applied to all phenomena.

37. Famous Last Words, Fond Farewells, Deathbed Diatribes, and Exclamations Upon Expiration - Ray Robinson (2003)
(241 points, 13 votes)
http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/eric1513/eric15130804/eric1513080400033/2806016.jpg

"Here are writers, philosophers, athletes, gangsters, kings, queens, movie stars, and politicians, in all sorts of moods and states of preparedness. Some merely want to say goodbye to loved ones, others want to create a legacy. And some are caught completely off guard, like Civil War general John Sedgwick, answering his troops' urgings to take cover: 'They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-'"

36. In Search of the World's Worst Writers - Nick Page (2000)
(242 points, 14 votes)
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51GAWSXEE8L._SS500_.jpg

The standard reference work on a topic of perennial interest.

This is really making me disgusted with myself, thinking of every time I derailed great threads, amusing only myself in the process, and now seeing how tacky and stupid it looks from the other end.

That insulators book made me check out www.insulators.info and some of them are absolutely gorgeous pieces of industrial design. I can understand why someone would want to collect them.

http://www.insulators.info/photos/images/130-cob.jpg

Yes, and I kind of want to solve all my problems using just brackets.

_____________________________________________________________________

The way we were:

101. Nixonland - Rick Perlstein (2008) (22 points, two votes)
100. Suite Française - Irène Némirovsky (1942, translated 2004) (22 points, two votes)
99. A Storm of Swords - George Martin (2000) (22 points, two votes)
98. Veronica - Mary Gaitskill (2005) (22 points, three votes)
97. How Mumbo-Jumbo Conquered The World - Francis Wheen (23 points, three votes)
96. On Green Dolphin Street - Sebastian Faulks (2004) (24 points, two votes)
95. No Country For Old Men - Cormac McCarthy (2005) (25 points, three votes)
94. Experience - Martin Amis (2000) (25 points, three votes)
93. Look To Windward - Iain M. Banks (2000) (26 points, two votes)
92. Nostalgia - Mircea Cărtărescu (translated 2005) (26 points, two votes)
91. Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell (2009) (26 points, two votes)

90. Stasiland - Anna Funder (2004) (27 points, two votes)
89. Bel Canto - Ann Patchett (2001) (27 points, two votes)
88. Stiff: The Curious Lives Of Human Cadavers - Mary Roach (2003) (28 points, three votes)
87. The Elementary Particles also known as Atomised - Michel Houellebecq (2000) (28 points, four votes)
86. Sinai Diving Guide - Alberto Siliotti (2005) (28 points, two votes, one first-placed vote)
85. The Shock Doctrine - Naomi Klein (2007) (29 points, three votes)
84. Freakonomics - Steven Levitt & Stephen Dubner (2005) (29 points, five votes)
83. Death With Interruptions - Jose Saramago (2008) (30 points, two votes)
82. Fun Home - Alison Bechdel (2006) (30 points, three votes)
81. Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned: Stories - Wells Tower (2009) (30 points, three votes)

80. Black Swan Green - David Mitchell (2006) (31 points, two votes)
79. Rabbit Remembered - John Updike (2001) (31 points, two votes)
78. Engleby - Sebastian Faulks (2007) (31 points, two votes)
77. An Episode In The Life Of A Landscape Painter - Cesar Aira (2006) (31 points, three votes)
76. Memories of Ice - Steven Erikson (2005) (31 points, two votes)
75. The Whole Equation - David Thomson (2005) (31 points, two votes)
74. What's Left? - Nick Cohen (2007) (31 points, three votes)
73. The Creation Records Story: My Magpie Eyes Are Hungry For The Prize - David Cavanagh (2001) (32 points, four votes)
72. Nothing - Paul Morley (2000) (33 points, two votes)
71. The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell (2000) (33 points, four votes)

70. Blink - Malcolm Gladwell (2005) (33 points, four votes)
69. Europeana: A Brief History of the Twentieth Century - Patrik Ouředník (2005) (34 points, two votes)
68. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage - Alice Munro (2001) (34 points, five votes)
67. Stalin: Court of the Red Tsar - Simon Sebag Montefiore (2003) (35 points, two votes)
66. Words and Music - Paul Morley (2003) (35 points, three votes)
65. Against The Day - Thomas Pynchon (2006) (35 points, four votes)
64. Tree of Smoke - Denis Johnson (2007) (37 points, two votes)
63. Death And The Penguin - Andrey Kurkov (2001) (37 points, two votes)
62. London: The Biography - Peter Ackroyd (2001) (37 points, three votes)
61. The Year Of Magical Thinking - Joan Didion (2005) (38 points, four votes)

and the way we are:

60. White Teeth - Zadie Smith (2000)
(40 points, two votes)

http://m1.wholesite.com/2009/12/8/e046b24e-6d7b-a6c4-29f0-1d3567909ffa/480x277_zadie_smith_main.jpg

Zadie Smith

here's a prejudice - whenever I see people reading 'one of those books EVERYBODY'S reading', be it 'White Teeth' or 'Captain Corelli' or 'Memoirs of a Geisha' or 'Bridget Jones', I assume the person is really really stupid and boring, and if I ever (God forbid) end up talking to the person it will take a long time for them to change my mind, if ever.
― dave q, Monday, July 30, 2001 12:00 AM (8 years ago)

White Teeth's a bit of a funny one. I found it extremely readable, despite the irksome feeling that was rather Rushdie lite. I was puzzled by this, until it was pointed out by one of my old college friends that Smith writes like so many of our other contemporaries wrote and spoke. The familiarity the language makes it almost too easy to keep reading.
― Richard Tunnicliffe, Sunday, July 15, 2001 12:00 AM (8 years ago)

Some of the best bits of white teeth (see book thread) are about a Jehova's Witness called Hortense. Very believable seeing as that's just what Witnesses in north london are likely to be called. unfornutnately I have no funny story about getting rid of witnesses because just offering to read a watchtower will normally send em packing.
― Ed, Tuesday, July 17, 2001 12:00 AM (8 years ago)

Did anyone else thing White Teeth was really awful? An utterly hollow, badly plotted, dunderheaded book.
― Alan Trewartha, Wednesday, June 12, 2002 12:00 AM (7 years ago)

I was dearly hoping White Teeth might lead into an actual New Thing in lit. It was the first thing I'd read in a long time that took such a sense of pleasure in the act of storytelling; it read like Dickens, so far as I was concerned; or rather, it read like a happy kid doing Dickens, taking pleasure less in the story/characters/dialogue than in the process of writing them out, building them up. (It read like fiction might be what I'm saying.)
I was hoping for a groundswell of this sort of thing -- blow away the stilted cleverness of certain McSweeneyites and their even worse bids at weightiness and take us back to the simple fact of young people having fun painting odd funny pictures of what life is actually like ... White Teeth seems the flagship -- it was like the best-ever "I've been working on a novel" that a friend in an undergrad writing course would hand you.)
― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, November 13, 2002 5:53 PM (7 years ago)

59. Twilight - Stephanie Meyer (2005)
(41 points, two votes)

http://wpsmedia.latimes.com/image/backlot/2008/7/1/Twilight_duo_rain_tree/Twilight-402-3-large.jpg

The inevitable 'Twilight' thread

LBS:
200 pages of pure teenagers' emotions - literature maybe not, but gripping certainly

caloma:
I'm a sucker for a love story and this was a really good one. It took me right back to the naivety of being fifteen again.

(this is for real again, by the way)