Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

hopes there is yeast in the cupboard o noes

Yeast is the one thing that shops always have, because no-one makes their own bread anymore, or even seems to know how to make bread anymore.

dudes make your own bread, yr mouth will thank you for it

grow your own wheat or its a copout imo

make your own cake, and let you eat that imo

Fortunately I already have a millstone - it's around my neck and it's called "being awesome", but it's probably good for making flour too

just harvest the wheat from that friendly art installation/wheatfield in shoreditch

I know how to make all manner of bready, biscuity things but life is too short.

dudes make your own bread, yr mouth will thank you for it

― most notably, the bendable (stevie), Monday, 11 January 2010 11:18 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
[hopes there is yeast in the cupboard o noes]

― most notably, the bendable (stevie), Monday, 11 January 2010 11:18 (1 hour ago)

...

I know how to make all manner of bready, biscuity things but life is too short.

― keyser (suzy), Monday, 11 January 2010 11:48 (1 hour ago)

Soda bread! Easy, non-yeast, non-time consuming and delicious!

soda bread assumes you have copious amounts of real butter to go with, tho?

Wouldn't it be so much more constructive if the Daily Express just put a recipe for soda bread on the front page instead of all this scaremongering nonsense?

NO CRISIS: BAKE YR OWN SODA BREAD

muffins are pretty quick as well, I made some yesterday.

potato farls ftw, because you think you're hungry and then you have to eat potato farls and you realise that you can go days yet before you absolutely have to eat.

hahahaha I don't mind the occasional farl

farls <<< soda bread because farls assume you have sausages, some manner of condiment and (again) practically unlimited real butter in order to make consumption viable. it's like postulating god as a first instance solution for the formation of the universe, it raises more issues than it solves in terms of food supply.

what are potato farls and how do you make them?

i've been subsisting off fish finger sarnies since the blizzards started. a change might do me good

grate potato into a floury pancake mix. mmmmm.

Kinda like unleavened dough with potato flour yeah. The more potato and the less wheat flour the better, but like darragh said yr farl is really a bland-ish delivery mechanism for stuff that's actually tasty.

I like to put some nice bread on mine.

*links to a small-minded article from the daily mail*

it's basically mashed up and reconstituted chips then yeah?

carn't cook to save my life but it sounds like something even i couldn't muck up (unless i set the kitchen on fire like last time i tried to make chips)

sorry for thread derail i'd rather eat dog nuggets than read the daily mail site again tbh

i'd rather eat dog nuggests than potato farls tbh

ah no shlap on a rake of butter into the pan and throw in a hogful of unyuns and yall be shound hey

it's basically mashed up and reconstituted chips then yeah?

Farl is more like mashed up and reconstituted newspaper tbh.

Hey, if they printed the news on a farl, you could read it while you're having your breakfast.

i have definitely eaten newspaper during some of my weirder acid trips

it tasted like ................ WORDS

....and nicely back on topic

If you ate the Daily Mail while on acid, would you turn into a right wing immigrant hating paranoid conspiracy theory believing right winger? Like in Black Books when Manny swallows The Little Book Of Calm?

daily mail tasted like shit for some reason :/

Farl is more like mashed up and reconstituted newspaper tbh.

I tht "farl" was just Irish/Scottish for a slice, especially of a small round loaf, not necessarily potato bread. Wheaten farls > potato farls > soda farls

I dunno if potato bread is un-screw-up-able, even just buying the instant ready-sliced packages I've turned them into little charred beermats as often as they've come out well, but maybe that is my fault for buying instant anything (but potato bread is for when you are looking for a carby addition to greasy hungover fryup and not thinking about cooking anything from scratch, surely)

potato bread is for when you are looking for a carby addition to greasy hungover fryup

^ knows what's up

through some flour through yesterday's mash, tbh, then into a hot pan.

potato farl = ordinary person's potato scone, yes?

it appears so. but it's not a scone so i would encourage the use of 'farl' if possible.

potato farls are a decent alternative soakage to have with a fried egg or whatever as opposed to bread...they are fairly nice ime, I buy them in the shops once every few months. tho to be honest these days i tend to go for a greasy spoon out instead of ever cooking bacon/eggs etc at home, it means I have a fry less often.

course then you have the ulster variation, where you get a slice of fried brown soda bread. reason enough for the troubles right there imo, an abomination before god.

our god, that is, not their god. i'm sure he doesn't mind.

^lol

Come on, Myleene, put that knife down!

No matter that the whole thing is bullshit and the police didn't say anything to her about a knive let's just have another go at this broken britain crap from my gated community in Florida.

Could we be in for 30 years of global COOLING?

Probably not.

course then you have the ulster variation, where you get a slice of fried brown soda bread. reason enough for the troubles right there imo, an abomination before god.

I am far too English to be allowed opinions on these matters but wheaten bread is A+++ and I miss it. Frying it does seem a bit much though. I think the Ulster fries I've had have generally come with fried potato and/or white soda bread on the plate with unfried wheaten bread on the side.

(I think wheaten bread is the same thing as brown soda bread, everyone in NI calls it wheaten bread except the M&S own brand)

don't tell the NN thread that not only do I still eat bread and dairy but I am happy to combine the two by tipping a few hundred calories of buttermilk into the bread dough

Catch me within 500 miles of a NN thread.

No matter that the whole thing is bullshit and the police didn't say anything to her about a knive let's just have another go at this broken britain crap from my gated community in Florida.

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, January 12, 2010 8:35 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

ned i know that you lurve the police, and that crime is something invented by malicious right-wingers to discredit the already imperilled utopia gordon brown has given us, but why believe the official claim over klass's?

I am far too English to be allowed opinions on these matters

agreed

wheaten bread is A+++

agreed!

Frying it does seem a bit much though

srsly tho

read NN as NI there in both posts and was confused

It's true I think we have the best police service in the world, not perfect by any means, just not as bad as everyone elses. And it's totally plausible that some copper gave the wrong advice to Klasse (and a lot of them think like the DM that it's all gone too far in the criminals favour and it'd be wine and roses if we could just give them a clip round the ear'ole like in the good old days and so could have deliberately told her some nonsense) but that doesn't change the fact that Mylene Klass made an terrible album of classical piano and should not be trusted.

xp

http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-year-same-old-bbc-hating-mail.html

this was a good spot, from the mail's science correspondent:

one soon forgets that zombies, so far, exist only in the imagination.

re Tim, UK's comment reprinted there ("the UK IS STILL WHITE AND STILL ENGLISH SPEAKING!") - is there any or has there ever been any BBC programming that's not in English, Gaelic or Welsh?

xp
he obviously didnt read the mail's helpful and non-judgemental guide to voodoo therapy last month.