Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

o_O

I don’t think the majority of women, once they are past the teenage crush period, even think about sex that much.

They put up with it, with the repetitiveness, the ridiculousness, the inconvenience and the inevitable disappointment, because it gets them to where they want to be: married, with children and someone to help shoulder the bills and dig the garden.

Srsly though fuck the DM. (And, incidentally, fuck the tories for their scaremongering DM/Express-a-like tactics yesterday - WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF GAS PEOPLE!!!)

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, January 6, 2010 9:41 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark

cough splutter

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2010/jan/07/gas-rationing-national-grid-factories

― Patriarchy Oppression Machine (history mayne), Thursday, 7 January 2010 14:47 (3 days ago) Bookmark

Yeah, well, like I said somewhere else The Guardian seems to be reading tory party press releases like they're news as well these days.

wow

there's a part of me that rily rilly wants to introduce my mad bonkers riot grrrl ex gf to ms jones just to watch the fur fly (or at least email her the link)

sad truth bomb from sad bloke who hasn't had a gf in 2 years: women don't go off sex they just go off the bloke theyre having sex with

Another blinder from the Express:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Jan/Week2/15518539.jpg

Wait, that's to-day? It's quite depressing that all the newspapers seem to just be following each other around in the snow. The "food costs to rocket" story was in the Guardian at the w/end and turned out to mostly concern cabbages and sprouts. And frankly even if sprouts double in price I'm not going to panic. The "shelves stripped bare" was in the Sun last week. Having said that very little broccoli in Sainsbury's so obviously The End Is Nigh.

At supermarkets and local stores across the country shoppers were seen cramming trolleys full of food and basic household items in case fresh snowfalls prevent them making it out again in the next few days.

Usual friday night shopping trip then.

"Sales should be dropping now because it’s after Christmas but we are actually experiencing record sales.”

This is a Good News news story surely!

Surely if there's no food left on the shelves there's no harm in putting prices up?

If it messes up those smug Asda calender ads, then it's a double win!

Usual friday night shopping trip then

Much like any Bank Holiday weekend. A supermarket full of people buying twelve loaves of bread because they might run out over the three day weekend oh noesss!!!

shelves usually bare of fresh produce on a sunday night regardless tbh

Well, yesterday I did have to go to Paul, M&S, Sainsbury's and even bloody Tesco to find a loaf of bread that I would deign to eat. There is no snow on the ground in Covent Garden but many shops there were shut due to 'severe weather' arrrrgh.

dudes make your own bread, yr mouth will thank you for it

[hopes there is yeast in the cupboard o noes]

if the country's running out of food, no-one's told the shops of central manchester.

i went to the shops but they were all CLOSED DOWN.

EAT THE RICH

i find their livers a tad gamey for my tastes

hopes there is yeast in the cupboard o noes

Yeast is the one thing that shops always have, because no-one makes their own bread anymore, or even seems to know how to make bread anymore.

dudes make your own bread, yr mouth will thank you for it

grow your own wheat or its a copout imo

make your own cake, and let you eat that imo

Fortunately I already have a millstone - it's around my neck and it's called "being awesome", but it's probably good for making flour too

just harvest the wheat from that friendly art installation/wheatfield in shoreditch

I know how to make all manner of bready, biscuity things but life is too short.

dudes make your own bread, yr mouth will thank you for it

― most notably, the bendable (stevie), Monday, 11 January 2010 11:18 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
[hopes there is yeast in the cupboard o noes]

― most notably, the bendable (stevie), Monday, 11 January 2010 11:18 (1 hour ago)

...

I know how to make all manner of bready, biscuity things but life is too short.

― keyser (suzy), Monday, 11 January 2010 11:48 (1 hour ago)

Soda bread! Easy, non-yeast, non-time consuming and delicious!

soda bread assumes you have copious amounts of real butter to go with, tho?

Wouldn't it be so much more constructive if the Daily Express just put a recipe for soda bread on the front page instead of all this scaremongering nonsense?

NO CRISIS: BAKE YR OWN SODA BREAD

muffins are pretty quick as well, I made some yesterday.

potato farls ftw, because you think you're hungry and then you have to eat potato farls and you realise that you can go days yet before you absolutely have to eat.

hahahaha I don't mind the occasional farl

farls <<< soda bread because farls assume you have sausages, some manner of condiment and (again) practically unlimited real butter in order to make consumption viable. it's like postulating god as a first instance solution for the formation of the universe, it raises more issues than it solves in terms of food supply.

what are potato farls and how do you make them?

i've been subsisting off fish finger sarnies since the blizzards started. a change might do me good

grate potato into a floury pancake mix. mmmmm.

Kinda like unleavened dough with potato flour yeah. The more potato and the less wheat flour the better, but like darragh said yr farl is really a bland-ish delivery mechanism for stuff that's actually tasty.

I like to put some nice bread on mine.

*links to a small-minded article from the daily mail*

it's basically mashed up and reconstituted chips then yeah?

carn't cook to save my life but it sounds like something even i couldn't muck up (unless i set the kitchen on fire like last time i tried to make chips)

sorry for thread derail i'd rather eat dog nuggets than read the daily mail site again tbh

i'd rather eat dog nuggests than potato farls tbh

ah no shlap on a rake of butter into the pan and throw in a hogful of unyuns and yall be shound hey

it's basically mashed up and reconstituted chips then yeah?

Farl is more like mashed up and reconstituted newspaper tbh.

Hey, if they printed the news on a farl, you could read it while you're having your breakfast.

i have definitely eaten newspaper during some of my weirder acid trips

it tasted like ................ WORDS

....and nicely back on topic

If you ate the Daily Mail while on acid, would you turn into a right wing immigrant hating paranoid conspiracy theory believing right winger? Like in Black Books when Manny swallows The Little Book Of Calm?

daily mail tasted like shit for some reason :/

Farl is more like mashed up and reconstituted newspaper tbh.

I tht "farl" was just Irish/Scottish for a slice, especially of a small round loaf, not necessarily potato bread. Wheaten farls > potato farls > soda farls

I dunno if potato bread is un-screw-up-able, even just buying the instant ready-sliced packages I've turned them into little charred beermats as often as they've come out well, but maybe that is my fault for buying instant anything (but potato bread is for when you are looking for a carby addition to greasy hungover fryup and not thinking about cooking anything from scratch, surely)

potato bread is for when you are looking for a carby addition to greasy hungover fryup

^ knows what's up

through some flour through yesterday's mash, tbh, then into a hot pan.

potato farl = ordinary person's potato scone, yes?