Great Real Names

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Journeyman baseball player Wonderful Terrific Monds III to thread!

Daniel Cohen (dayan), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.adofans.nl/foto/20022003/gemeenteraadstadion/gemeenteraadstadion05.jpg

Cock Jol

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Run Wrake, the Dutch (I think) animator/promo-director

Stevem On X (blueski), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Romanian (I think) figure ice skater from a while back: Viacheslav Zagorudniuk. It trips off the tongue beautifully.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I've always loved Leslie Kong for the name as much as the music.

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

americans have the funniest names.

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Examples of "funniest" plz.

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

willy crump

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

my high school swim coach was named H@rry Kr@mp

gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i have a doctor named st@vr0s s@r@nt@k0s.

amanda lear (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i'll see you and raise you kyri@k0s s@r@nt@k0s

gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do so many Greeks have at-signs and zeroes in their names?

jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

there's some lady at another organisation we work with that is named 'davinia snowball'. her parents must be totally evil.

colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I worked with a Wetlene Pinthiere.

Paul Eater (eater), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

(Maria Callas, Kathleen Battle, Leontyne Price and Paul Plishka are/were Americans!)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

A friend of mine in high school with the name Dan had, at one point, claimed to have a long-distance (he was in Rockford, she was in Arlington Heights...long-distance in high school) relationship with a girl named "Velvet". The evidence of this affair was an out-of-focus photograph of a girl playing tennis, with the words, "To Dan" scrawled across the front.

My friend Gerald and I didn't believe him, since "Velvet" never showed up at any events she had been invited to, Dan always saying she couldn't make it at the last second.

One morning at school, Dan said that "Velvet" evidence could be found in his car, in the form of a series of photographs in his glove compartment, having just picked them up the day before at the Osco photo shop. He said he'd show them to us sometime. Somehow Gerald and I liberated his car keys from him and went into his car. We found the photos, which were so HORRIBLY underexposed that nothing could be seen except for silhouettes!

Gerald and I were fed up. We stormed into Dan's chemistry class, slammed down the keys, and I announced, "Dan, there IS NO VELVET!" We then stormed out.

"Velvet" apparently "broke up" with Dan a few days later. One night several years ago, in a drunken stupor, Dan confessed that "Velvet" didn't really exist. He also confessed that he didn't mind when girls santorumed his arse with their thumbs. He eventually married a lovely girl named Valerie.

Riot Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 23:41 (twenty-one years ago)

where are you from?

RJG (RJG), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Ph3w W1n
Ph4t Ly
M1ssy P1gg0t
Kunth34r R1m (say the first name as two words.)

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Illinois (originally)

Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to imagine that Ph3w W1n's parents were horrible cynics who were making some ironic comment on teh ownership society, but I fear instead they were just 1st Gen Vietnamese immigrants who had no idea how strangely funny her name would sound when pronounced in english.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

There was a patient called C. Lowe the other day and I kept roffling.
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), January 26th, 2005.

Chad Lowe?

http://www.schlocktoberfest.com/current_columns/gfx/foy_0903_08.jpg

Hello [on a cellphone], greetings, it's me, an outlaw, latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I once kind of knew a guy named Cole Couture.

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

my friend graduated college with a guy whose name was (cant imagine im spelling it correctly, ill just go phonetic...) sadoporn pornpromolickit. SAD-o-PORN PORN-PROM-o-LICK-IT. whatta name.

peter smith (plsmith), Thursday, 27 January 2005 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

My brother and sister in law attended the wedding of the Turnipseeds last year. The dad is kind of a military bigwig. General Turnipseed. I kid you not.

aimurchie, Thursday, 27 January 2005 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

When we lived in California, there was a bigshot preacher in the city called Rev. Royal Blue. Turned out he was part of a big family that also included Navy and Midnight. Dunno if there were others. I used to laugh every time I drove past the church sign. Hey, I'm easily amused: It keeps me young. :D

Hey Jude, Thursday, 27 January 2005 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i know a guy who knows a guy. his mother is asian, no one's specific what kind of asian. his father's a tried-and-true irishman. the kid's name?

Ryan McGOOKEY.

i kid you not. McGookey. they have all of these other nicknames for him, and i don't understand why. there is no need for further funnines, don't they see?!?!

madge del gato, Thursday, 27 January 2005 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

None of these names are as funny as Kunth34r, because Kunth34r is the the single funniest name ever. Thankfully it is not pronounced like it is spelled or else Kunth34r's many coworkers wouldn't get a bit of work done when she was around.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 27 January 2005 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a friend with the already unfortunate last name of Kle1npeter. Her older brother is called James, nicknamed Jimmy. Ouch.
Also known a Brigh@m Y@ng, Taiwanese Mormon, and a Morgan Lefaye.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 27 January 2005 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

There were two girls in my high school graduating class with the first name Velvet. You can check this with Jack Cole. Only one of them graduated, though; the other got married halfway thru senior year and dropped out.

Haibun (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 27 January 2005 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...
Just sent a fine reminder to an Anaxsanamun Rhino.

Tefal, Tuesday, 31 May 2005 08:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Rip Torn I love
also Dick Burn brings a hearty chuckle when i read it in programme credits.

Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Aaah.. my neighbour's kid: @nakin @li. No points for guessing his sister's name. Kinda gross when you think about it.

I know an Apple, a Happy, a Milk, and a Tiger as well.

Oh and sisters $iti @fiuratul, $iti B@quiratul, and $iti $hawwana+ul all went to school with me.

Roz (Roz), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Anaxsanamun

Isn't that the name of the chick in The Mummy?

Roz (Roz), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
I just came across a (Thai, I'd presume) woman's name: Bang-on Phothijak.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 10:57 (twenty years ago)

My mother has a friend whose 4 boys are called 'Tarn', 'Argon', 'Sun' and 'Chewocky'. Possibly the last one is actually 'Cherokee', but I sure as hell heard the former.

Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

I own a number of albums of a New Zealand musician, a pianist, called Wayne King

Everybody laughed as I sat down to play, then I realised I had left the door open...

Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

Menelaus Darcy

gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

Of next week's students:

M3m0ry P1nchb3ck
J4m3s Jul1u5 Sh4k3sh4ft

Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...
There's a girl sitting 10 feet from me called Fe1icity Windmill!

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 15:24 (twenty years ago)

Fenella Fudge

Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 17:08 (twenty years ago)

PengPeng Miao. Really. Say it out loud a few times. Unbeatable.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 21:05 (twenty years ago)

My friend, Tiffany Minx.

Tripmaker (SDWitzm), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 22:33 (twenty years ago)

There is a dude at work named B3nett L0ve. Also Trent Sk33l. Both sound like movie characters.

Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 22:39 (twenty years ago)

Tiffany Minx is a pornstar, right? 'That' kind of friend.

andy --, Wednesday, 8 February 2006 23:01 (twenty years ago)

some I have run across in my travels:

Qing Chang (say it "Ching Chang") and I just immediately hear in my head "walla walla bing bang" everytime I hear it or see it written.
Lata Beer
Then there were the LA cops teamed up named "Ofcr Laws" and "Ofcr Justice"

not to be forgotten famous philanthropist, "Ima Hogg"
and a distant long dead relative named "Gay Hooker"

Went to school with Edward Whipple Jenks III and set of girl sisters with the last name Leer - 1st names: Crystal & Shanda (not funny unless they're written together

Wiggy (Wiggy), Thursday, 9 February 2006 02:20 (twenty years ago)

I work with a Professor Love. In fact, I'm going to India with him. While we're there, we'll be meeting a man called Malay Dave, who sounds like a character from Only Fools and Horses.

Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 9 February 2006 14:36 (twenty years ago)

haha!

RJG (RJG), Thursday, 9 February 2006 14:38 (twenty years ago)

I dealt with a customer recently named Tre4sure Camar0.

elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 9 February 2006 14:45 (twenty years ago)

When I was at school, one of the teachers died and there was a memorial service for him. During the service, there was a point where the headmaster read out the names of all of the other pupils/former pupils/members of staff/governors etc etc etc who had died over last year or so. The list of names was printed in the booklet. The first name in the list was Amos Boner. If they hadn't printed the list in alphabetical order and hidden him further down the list, no-one would have noticed because they'd have stopped listening after three names, but starting off with that one just caused a wave of stifled giggling. RIP Amos.

James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Thursday, 9 February 2006 14:48 (twenty years ago)

My friend wants to name his first born Tyrano Stevie Ray Hendrix Laird Buckley.

I hold out no hope that this will come to fruition, as his girlfriend does not seem amenable to such a name.

Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Thursday, 9 February 2006 14:48 (twenty years ago)


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