God bless the goddamn Onion

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Hahah this is great. The "long elaborate timeline" with "15 year old enlightened by Nirvana" in 100BC and again in 1991.

millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 22:15 (sixteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSt1m4NFUl8

un(!)registered (unregistered), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 23:37 (sixteen years ago)

Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian

StanM, Wednesday, 13 January 2010 14:41 (sixteen years ago)

They're on to ILX: Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong

what of the fuck you talkie bout (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 25 January 2010 16:47 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/as_much_as_i_hated_putting_my

MPx4A, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:20 (sixteen years ago)

has everybody seen the dedicated Jean Teasdale site? http://hometowns.cyber-net-village.com/Orlando/7302/Rick/sportzone/misc/folders/Jean/index.php

Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:36 (sixteen years ago)

;_;

xpost

koogs, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:37 (sixteen years ago)

i went out with jean teasdale in school i think.

genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:39 (sixteen years ago)

dog story hits a little too close to the bone to bring the lols. :'(

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:43 (sixteen years ago)

(I'm still waiting for my little guy to wake up too.)

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:44 (sixteen years ago)

I think we all did, darraghmac.

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:46 (sixteen years ago)

dog story seem mean spirited :(

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:46 (sixteen years ago)

reminds me of that scene in dumb and dumber where they behead the blind girls parrot and put it back on with foil. and the girl just sits there and pets it and waits for it to talk. made me all sad in fifth grade.

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:48 (sixteen years ago)

going out with jean teasdale made me sad in 5th grade

genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:53 (sixteen years ago)

that dog story is almost perfect in its commitment to cruel comedy

PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! (HI DERE), Thursday, 4 February 2010 15:25 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/feb-01-2010

Editorial cartoons are back, though this one seems out of character for a true, America-lovin' Dem-hatin' patriot like Kelly.

a black white asian pine ghost who is fake (Telephone thing), Thursday, 4 February 2010 23:50 (sixteen years ago)

OMG the Jean Teasdale site. I love the URL, that just makes it perfect.

millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Friday, 5 February 2010 00:20 (sixteen years ago)

Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti'

more otm and sad than funny.

dyao, Friday, 5 February 2010 06:23 (sixteen years ago)

"Allowing gays to serve openly in the Army is a long overdue reform, but it must be accompanied by an assurance that heterosexuals will be able to serve openly in the Navy."

MPx4A, Friday, 5 February 2010 12:55 (sixteen years ago)

holy lol

NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission

sleepingbag, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:05 (sixteen years ago)

Hahahah @ all the Major toms.

millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:11 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyNasaBudget.jpg

am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:14 (sixteen years ago)

lol @ "'red' alert"

wall•egina (s1ocki), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:17 (sixteen years ago)

GULP!

am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:24 (sixteen years ago)

lol @ Spock's boneyness, Kirk's stoutness, and Uhura as Lady Liberty (skirt is too long, though).

nickn, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 00:37 (sixteen years ago)

liberty's got olive oyl knees!

international slackness (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 02:38 (sixteen years ago)

So does Kirk. And so are the elbows and shoulders.

you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 03:56 (sixteen years ago)

Wal-Mart Cuts Over 13,000 Of What It Calls Jobs

international slackness (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 10 February 2010 11:46 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Bill-later.jpg

Darin, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:41 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/20_000_tons_of_pubic_hair_trimmed

goole, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:43 (sixteen years ago)

i love it when they go gross

goole, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:43 (sixteen years ago)

"Bzzzzzzzz," he added. "Timber!"

megalols

you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 12 February 2010 21:23 (sixteen years ago)

haaa i came to post that magazine cover

V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:29 (sixteen years ago)

"I'm not going to let corporate America dictate the date or time at which I choose to groom my genitals," said Denver resident Marcus Shannon, adding that Valentine's Day was "invented by the razor industry" to sell grooming devices. "If you really love somebody, you should shave your pubes year-round."

A1

Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:46 (sixteen years ago)

this made me LOL

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/rise_in_teen_pregnancy_proves

amuse-douche (s1ocki), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:48 (sixteen years ago)

yeah i've had "coming back with so much thunder it's like they never left" as a phrase in my head all day

V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:49 (sixteen years ago)

I lold at the very NSFW video about the 2am computer virus.

mayor jingleberries, Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:55 (sixteen years ago)

lolz: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/latest_sarah_palin_speech_opens

Neil S, Wednesday, 24 February 2010 16:41 (sixteen years ago)

About right:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/former_prom_king_now_living

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 February 2010 16:45 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_bought_an_awesome_gun_that

bunch of NRA guys all going "how did you get my diary"

MPx4A, Friday, 26 February 2010 14:51 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/money_0.jpg

caek, Friday, 26 February 2010 15:54 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/paleontologists_weve_been

StanM, Saturday, 27 February 2010 22:05 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/sierra_leone_diamond_miner

('_') (omar little), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:00 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/senator_dikembe_mutombo_blocks

FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:05 (sixteen years ago)

this is my favorite onion article in a long time: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/daytime_nighttime_7_11_clerks_have

Luz, a saucy taco slinger (hmmmm), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:11 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/denmark_introduces_harrowing_new

StanM, Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:24 (sixteen years ago)

Tiger Woods article is the best they've done in a long time.

can it compete with the wagon wheel (Eazy), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:29 (sixteen years ago)

von trier is awesome; this is also killing it:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/report_baby_skull_jewelry_may_be

forksclovetofu, Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:35 (sixteen years ago)

Von Trier ads A+++++++

FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:51 (sixteen years ago)

lolll the club scene

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 28 February 2010 00:00 (sixteen years ago)


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