itt a strange man asks if you saw the ass on that one

: )

The flogging-acceptable place never existed, I'm pretty sure.

I've heard there is a place on 5th & Spring where people do this

But no, really. A place where someone could go to a person of their preferred gender and be like "Hey, whips and chains" and that person could be free to be all like "Yes, I'm consensual" or "No, sorry, that's not my thing."

craigslist.org

gay bar

btw contenderizer one problem with what youre saying is--removing race from the occasion--that its the responsibility of the person who is offended to forgive and educate the person who offended them, and not, instead, the responsibility of the person who did the offending to apologize and educate their dam selves

― max, Friday, December 4, 2009 2:39 PM (4 minutes ago)

i think that it IS the responsibility of offended people to forgive, educate and understand - to the extent possible, depending on the nature of the offense. and sure, i think it's the responsibility of those who offend to apologize, learn and understand. basically, everyone is obliged to give one another the benefit of the doubt and to treat one another with a measure of compassionate open-mindedness.

understand that this argument only makes sense when the point of offense/contention is relatively minor. not saying that we should always smile and try to understand those who abuse and oppress us.

no i really disagree with that

giving people the benefit of the doubt is important but not everyone's opinions are equivalent

not everyone's opinions are important either

definitely not

also:

agree that what i'm saying DOES seem to square with the "political correctness has gone TOO FAR!!!" arguments you hear on fox, and with the sort of things that poor sad white mans supposedly say now that they don't entirely run the whole game. in idealizing a bygone moment that never really existed, i'm giving in to the fundamental conservative impulse. so i'll take all punches on that score.

but i'd like to think that kingkonggodzilla's right, and that what i'm doing is looking forward for a way out of the deadlocked, polarized, endlessly outraged culture war that we seem to have locked ourselves into.

contenderizer you keep discussing this on a level of abstraction that doesn't exist so it's all kind of shrug

You can't promote tolerance in those who are intolerant by being dismissive and intolerant yourself.

i feel a lot less outrage when i don't spend all my time educating people on how they should treat me but ymmv!

contenderizer you keep discussing this on a level of abstraction that doesn't exist so it's all kind of shrug

OTM x 1000%

iving people the benefit of the doubt is important but not everyone's opinions are equivalent

― harbl, Friday, December 4, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

note that offense exists everywhere. christians get offended by gay pda's. bigots get offended by the suggestion that their race is not superior. being offended doesn't mean that you don't have to try and understand.

"offended people are NOT necessarily any more correct"

everytime i see this thread title i get "ass like that" by eminem in my head, goddamn it.

that is so unfortunate

why don't you do us all a favor c., and give us a specific concrete example of what you're talking about instead of speaking in abstractions

contenderizer you keep discussing this on a level of abstraction that doesn't exist so it's all kind of shrug

― horseshoe, Friday, December 4, 2009 12:01 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGz6oIm6jhk

i'm curious about examples of offended responses to someone saying something racist that are morally equivalent or "just as wrong/right" as the latter.

otoh "tolerating the intolerant" opens the door to many frustrating and fruitless discussions that don't get anywhere. for example, if i had to honor someone's earnestly-held opinion that it's ok to abide by stereotypes because they exist "for a reason" i would probably spend the entire discussion wishing for death.

why don't you do us all a favor c., and give us a specific concrete example of what you're talking about instead of speaking in abstractions

― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Friday, December 4, 2009 12:05 PM (13 seconds ago) Bookmark

now where have I seen many frustrating and fruitless discussions that don't get anywhere before?

the internet?

i'm curious about examples of offended responses to someone saying something racist that are morally equivalent or "just as wrong/right" as the latter.

― omar little, Friday, December 4, 2009 12:07 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

but it's easy to perceive offense in situations that aren't so cut-and-dried offensive. e.g. "niggardly", resulting shitstorms, etc. my only point was that to feel as though one has been offended does not automatically mean that the offending party has done anything wrong.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091202044731AASWipb

wrong thread lol

thing is, I can easily see how ~this guy~ would not understand how he was being offensive, or sexist, or threatening. getting offensive people to cop to their own offensiveness is a losing battle ime.

dude you're the one stacking the deck! you're being so abstract that if anything comes up that could show your arguments are absurd you can go "oh no i didn't mean that" because you never specify what you do mean. anyway i gotta go thanks man see u

did u see the stack on that deck

gimme a minute to come up with something...

― a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Friday, December 4, 2009 2:10 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the fact that you have no examples makes it really hard to understand why you're even arguing this

http://www.angelfire.com/or2/nigel/sofia.jpg

I never been bootied, I save that for the farts
The kids blowin' hot air that got they heads gassed
Tail-waggin' rappers and y'all still come in dead last
I rain on suckas while some choose to drizzel
You come up with beef, you leave with no teeth and gristle

re: the concrete example that que asked for

i dunno. i have had many friends over the years who, especially when drunk, will reveal questionable aspects of themselves. will make unpleasant jokes, will confess attitudes i find distasteful, etc. bitching in their loneliness about "women". having weird pseudo-psychoanalytic theories about why people are gay. at the very worst, getting into "the problem with ____ people" type straight-up old-school racism.

sometimes i've called people on it, sometimes not - depending on the severity and situation. but i think a lot of people have weird little pockets inside their brains where strange transactions work themselves out. i have the idea, perhaps ridiculous, that people in general are much less apt to publicly voice these things than they once were.

elmo argonaut super otm wr2 this though. a big reason why we don't have these sorts of floodgate-opening, consciousness-raising discussions anymore is that the issues have largely been settled. there's no point in endlessly rehashing the same material, listening politely to the same old dunder-headed "theories" and offering a politely worded rebuttal. i get that.

like i said way back, i'm not 100% clear on how i feel about any of this. i've been trying to explore an idea more than argue a thesis.

thing is, I can easily see how ~this guy~ would not understand how he was being offensive, or sexist, or threatening. getting offensive people to cop to their own offensiveness is a losing battle ime.

Yeah, unfort you are probably right. But getting pretty smart, mostly reasonable people like the frquently posting crowd on ILX to understand how it's offensive should not take 1000 posts, imo.

touche

but i think we've all been in accord about his being a creepy jerk from word 1

did you see the touche on that one (sorry)

guys you can't let this thread die

But getting pretty smart, mostly reasonable people like the frquently posting crowd on ILX to understand how it's offensive should not take 1000 posts, imo.

― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Friday, December 4, 2009 2:35 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark

has it??

1,l69

that's a pretty un-concrete concrete example

in the interest of keeping things going, I am curious as to whether ILX thinks that any/and all generalizations made about an ethnic group or subset thereof are inherently racist

any and/or all

chinese ppl are the most disgusting savages in all the world imo

that's a pretty un-concrete concrete example

― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Friday, December 4, 2009 12:59 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

again, i tend to think that lots of people have ideas like this kicking around their heads, and that many of us have these kinds of conversations in private, on reasonable, civil terms. but the only way they seem to occur in public is in the form of highly polarized shouting matches, where each side claims a position of unassailable moral superiority and insists that all opposition be defeated. which depresses me. and i think it contributes to a squashed, dishonest civic culture.

in the interest of keeping things going, I am curious as to whether ILX thinks that any/and all generalizations made about an ethnic group or subset thereof are inherently racist

― unobtaintium (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, December 4, 2009 1:00 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark

Just read this thread, and all I could think about the whole time was this particular post by goole.

:)

ahahahahahahahahaha