I have a big ass

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That sounds like a movie pitch, Ally.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You and Mr Kitty both

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Isn't that what _American Sweethearts_ is about? All I see in the trailers are people making disparaging comments about "Kiki". God, that looks like an awful movie. Damn Them for fucking up a movie starring John Cusack.

If we're going to start dropping terms like "Pendergast's version of ambient" in the midst of the conversation, I'll have to remember to bring my dunce cap along. Or drink about 10 Midori Sours.

And I think it's possible to comment on a woman's physical attributes without looking like a leering, drooling horn-dog. Though, again, as mentioned previously, the best thing to do when the topic comes up is shut the hell up, because even if you have something nice to say, you'll come off sounding skeevy, and possibly offend.

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It'd only be the BEST MOVIE EVER, Dan. I'm played by Uma Thurman + 20lbs. Stephanie is played by the girl who plays the secretary on Ally McBeal. You are of course played by Hootie in his film debut. Mike will be played by John Cusack. Otis and Ramon will be played by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in their patented "cooky Massachusetts guys" roles. Our friend will be played by Hal Sparks, and his roommates are Sarah Jessica Parker and Thora Birch. It'll be so fantastic. Who can I call to get this made?

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

MArtin Van Peebles. I am played by Jugde reinhold anyways

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Dude, it's my movie. Though perhaps you'd accept Judd Nelson?

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

NO way he looks worse the Greico. Only if you are played by Paula Poundstone

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Paula Poundstone? HARSH.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

tit for tat!

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Judd Nelson is hella cool, haven't you ever seen those movies from the 80s? You're totally on crack if you don't want to be Judd Nelson. As I've already pointed out, it's my film so you have nothing you can say about it. YOU ARE JUDD NELSON. You shouldn't have complained about Cusack.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am on strike then, tart.

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Then I'm replacing you with Paul Reubens, okay? it doesn't matter, does it? Make your own movie if you're so annoyed.

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

resorting to a new thread eh? grrrr!

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I get it now. Ally thought the meet up was boring coz only Sundar noticed her ass.

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sundar noticed my ass?

― Ally, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I was wondering what prompted the movie thread...and now I'm amused.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Laugh it up fuzzball!

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Wait, you are hispanic?

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i said i didn't!

― sundar subramanian, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yeah, why are you people besmirching Sundar's good name?

Mike: Um, yes?

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I thought you were from Russia

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I know, my name is so Russian.

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Shtoo, shtoo, my little babushka

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Apparently last night my friend was yelling my name and throwing things at me in the middle of the night. I didn't wake up. Didn't anyone worry that I was dead? If I lived in Russia, they'd help me. Fucking Americans.

― Ally, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

PLus, free crackers

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I could just go to communion and get some free crackers, boy.

― Ally, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Them ain't crackers, them is Jesus slices, but they go nice on Ritz crackers. A littel Jesus blood to wash it down, you got your self an old school apostle chow down!

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Does it disturb you too that they were apparently cannibals?

― Ally, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It disturbed me! The first time I actually paid attention to what was being said, I thought, "EEEK!" Then, I began to fume at the missionaries of old who called cannibal groups in Africa and South America "savages" when one of the cornerstones of Christianity involves devouring the person who's supposed to save us from evil.

Communion is the only thing about Christianity (as a religion) that bothers me. A lot of the rest of it boils down to "Help other people," which is a good way to live your life (assuming, of course, that everyone is living that way; it only takes one bastard to spoil the whole thing).

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I only noticed when a Buddhist freind came with me to church and was like "WHAT!?Drink my blood!" . I have been reading the bible lately and its odd, that Jesus rascal. He keeps saying things like " I am allowed to desecrate the sacred scroll becasue I am the son of God. His arguement for everything seems to be "I can do it because I'm God. " People bought it!And whats with thi s" turn the other cheek business?"

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 24 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Also Jesus once cursed a fig tree

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

AHEM. It is time for me to prove my case, since I found my tape measure. My measurements are 36-26-38. My hips are 12 inches bigger than my waist. And that measurement dropped an inch since the last time, 6 months ago. SO THERE YOU DOUBTERS.

― Ally, Thursday, 23 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is that big? I don't know measurements. I like asses that are bigger than yours. I'm pretty critical of asses. I haven't seen a really good ass in probably a year and a half.

― Otis Wheeler, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

WTF? That is a hip measurement, not an ass measurement. Measure your ass and then get back to us.

― Josh, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

But your ass only gets bigger from your hips, Josh. I'm actually really proud of this shit, don't know why.

I look hella good today, damnit.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm too skinny. No matter how much I eat, I don't gain weight.
I doubt that you eat enough. At least not the *right* things. Try carbohydrates. Pasta, chips,...

― nathalie, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Or do the SlimFast diet. It's made me gain 3lbs :P

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Maybe you used the fatfast diet by accident.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

That would definitely explain the problem.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Recently my freinds told me " All women have a big ass." Is this true?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

No. Many have small ones. And there are different kinds of big. There is the wide and flat. There is the wide and round. There is the not wide but still round. I have wide and round. My roommate is flat. My youngest sisters have not wide and round, but my other sister has no ass at all.

― Ally, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i eat very large quantities of the right things and i still lose weight like there's no tomorrow if i don't work out.

― sundar subramanian, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

NO ass at all? is she a monkey? humans need butts

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 24 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

And monkeys don't?

― Ally, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sundar,do you eat carbs? You need to eat lots of pasta and bread.
My ass is pea-sized. In my dreams.

― nathalie, Saturday, 25 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

one month passes...

And the Emmy goes to .. ALLY'S TARTY CHARO RIP- OFF ASS!

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It's a scam. I'm still not convinced of its girth. I demand a recount.

― David Raposa, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I already gave measurements, you crackheads. But I don't care anymore, I am too bootylicious for you lot anyhow

― Ally, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ally = too bootylicious for her ass

― mark s, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Well, that's a helluva catch 22 you've come up with there.

― Ally, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

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