Strictly Come Dancing--am I on my own here?

People who watch GMTV should have their phones taken off them.

Comedy = paso to the Kaiser Chiefs. Agree that wrong two couples were in the dance-off, cannot see any redeeming features at all in the Mark/Hayley partnership and Andrew's just rubbish.

The house band really excelled themselves this week. I think I lasted through maybe three seconds of their take on "Spice Up Your Life".

Yeah, they were rubbish, also someone appeared to be strangling the singers all the way through. Also mega lols at Camilla's bizarre silk pyjamas thing.

Current standings

Like: Tom, Jodie, Christine
Dislike: Andrew, Mark
Want to adopt as my favourite uncle: John

Haha the Kaiser Chief's Paso (was it a Paso?) was funny!

I was hoping for the hideous Foster to get the chop this week, or the strangely humourless and characterless Heather Small, but I can't argue with the result as Heather's dance-off performance was pretty decent. Also I am reliably informed that Don Warrington is an absolute twat IRL, so no complaints really.

I like Jodie and Cherie, also Christine, although she wasn't great this week. Dislike - same as Ailsa. Oh, and Austin, obviously. The womenfolk in my house are right behind Tom, mainly due to this week's haircut as far as I can tell. He was pretty bloody good though - a really well acted American smooth. I think he may win.

I don't like Austin due to longstanding dislike of him outwith this show, but he is very good. Bored with Rachel and Lisa now, can't be doing with Cherie, even though she's doing a great job of dancing well with all the judges wedged so far up her arse.

Womenfolk OTM re Tom. They were OTM re Gethin last year as well.

I'm deeply saddened about Don Warrington being a twat. He seems lovely.

Well, Andrew Castle's entire television career has involved him being an absolute twat, so I'm still gutted. Castle doesn't even seem to want to be there, really, and his partner just seems massively irritated with him all the time (it was hard to tell, but I think the lift-bodging might partly have been her fault).

I think I'm kinda rooting for Cherie now, tbh. She does seem slightly too calculating, but she's also bloody good, and her pwning Rachel, Austin and Lisa... I would find this quite heartening. Ideally I'd like Christine to win, but I think she needs to stand out a bit more than she's done thus far - she's been good, but so have a lot of other people.

Cherie's couple of years at ballet school may have been useful for the dances she's done to date.. She's yet to do something energetic and latin-y yet, I think.

That "I Predict A Riot" - even Peter Kay couldn't have bettered that.

Two black contestants in the dance-off, News at Ten...

That new Alecia Dixon single is great!

Rachel looking as bored doing this as she was "promoting" her last album.

Otherwise, merit-wise I'm pretty much in agreement with Dr C.

Fearing for Christine this week, though I reckon Foster's surely gone...

Think Christine, like Andrew and John, will continue to be saved by the public as they are popular. Poor Mark is basically hampered by not being able to dance at all, but I don't think much of his partner. Nothing outstanding tonight, sadly, and Christine, who I really like, was very poor. Lisa probably best of an average bunch.

Dance-off will be Foster and Castle. Foster to go obv. John and Christine will be saved by Joe Public -the John thing is getting a little tired though.

SHOVELL! (Was it always spelt with two Ls?)

Just realised Heather is in a roughly comparable place to where Don was last week, so she's definitely not safe.

Rachel's bruvvers > Rachel's fyonsay.

Len sounds remarkably similar to Cotton Hill when he's angry.

First Madcon, now this. Poor Frankie Valli.

Oh, good spot, Doc!

Think we can now safely call next week's dance-off as being the survivor of this one vs. Heather, then.

And I think we can basically guarantee that Mark's going out now... can't we?

Yes we can.

Yes, good. He might have been better with a better partner, but he was still the worst there. Also, y'know, put them away. Ugh.

Even when stripping off and posing, and being lifted up by his fans, he is curiously emotionless.

Only saw this on a pub TV with little/no sound yesterday. But....I predict Heather and Castle to be in bottom 2, with Castle to go. Could be a close run thing.

Castle must go!

Oh dear, Sergeant is going all the way to the last 3.

Jodie & Ian were lovely. Austin just ever so slightly overmarked by Len. Think Castle and Heather will go before John, and Austin will win.

Heather-Castle seems a lock for bottom two, but up to this point Cherie's not had to rely on public support to get her through, so she's hardly out of the woods. I dunno if Castle will go - he really pulled himself together for the dance-off last week, and a similar improvement this time might be enough.

Have very much had enough of John now.

Austin Healey is actually going to win this, isn't he? Sergeant's the only one who's got enough momentum with the public to stop him, and he surely won't make the final... surely?

I think Castle will go. You can see the amount of effort Heather has put in, particularly physical training, it's like looking at a before/after advert for a gym.
Sergeant, yah, bored now, but he's too nice for me to want him to go. Kind of wish that Don was still in it instead though.

Castle has gone, which was scarcely a surprise.

This week I noticed several reiterations on the judges' part of the same basic complaint (but mainly aimed at Cherie Lunghi and Rachel Stevens' performances) about playing it safe, competent but no more, no "wildness," no "sensuality" etc.

I'm wondering if everyone's been told by The Management to tone that side of things down following recent upsets elsewhere in the BBC.

Then again, before Saturday's edition there was an extraordinary thing called Hole In The Wall with Dale Winton whose format I can only describe as "fetish friendly."

It's baffling.

Taking the piss out of "Hole In The Wall" now seems to comprise half of Harry Hill's show. Wish they'd make the wall out of something more solid than polystyrene though. And on that point, possibly not the most environmentally friendly show on TV?

Dale now not even bothering to smile with his mouth, let alone his eyes.

Rachel! I am not, in general, one of her biggest fans, but that was quite the shock...

As with this week's X Factor, this indicates that the ship is about to sink.

It would seem that the British public is far more interested in voting for "characters" rather than people with actual dancing talent.

But without the money generated by the 'phone-in votes the BBC would make no money from the show and it would have to be pulled.

America gets its first black President. We get John Sergeant who can't dance but gee he's cute.

The United Nations food parcels get ever closer.

tbh, I can't tell a talented ballroom dancer from an elephant.

I saw this the other week when we were down at m-i-l's place. I wasn't really keen on watching it TBH but I guess it was entertaining enough. It was funny, watching John Sargeant - to say that his partner, the siberian lady, was carrying him would be a mighty understatement. I was very taken with the siberian lady, she was very glamorous and I'd like to cop off with her very much. That's about all I've got, really.

John's going to win this.

I thought Rachel was fantastic this week, rumbas tend to do nothing for me, and Rachel tends to do nothing for me, yet somehow that was awesome. Still love Jodie, but fear she's going to be out next.

I was watching the darts instead this w/end. I started off with Strictly, but I think I have basically hit my threshold for watching the judges shout over each other.

When you said Dale Winton was 'presenting' at "Hole in the wall", I got completely the wrong idea...

Interesting lack of control with the judges compared with X Factor.

Cowell very subtle this week over the Daniel business whereas Goodman splutters and fumes about voters voting for the wrong reasons. Not the way to get the viewers on his side.

If Sergeant wins, though, I think we can say goodbye to any further series since if it's going to be about personalities rather than dancing skills and abilities there will be no real point to the programme and no judge will want to be associated with it.

Tom Jones looks and sounds ghastlier every time I see him on TV. As though he died 20 years ago and somebody's just bolted various bits and pieces of him together around the body of an out-of-date robot.

No sign of Sergeant and his partner at the statutory end-of-Sunday-night hug-a-thon. Fun to speculate as to why not...

Yeaeh, we noticed that!

And here's the reason, more or less...

Although the Sergeant issue in turn begs the following question:

What are audiences more likely to watch and be entertained by on peak time Saturday television - a technically immaculate but boring artisan, or John Sergeant falling on his arse/dragging his partner like a sack of Cambuslang coal every week?

The producers put him in so that they could benefit from a laugh at his expense but with truly sweet irony, the joke's on them.

alex, lymington,

Yup.

John Sergeant, arguably the least talented person ever to feature in a talent contest

This is unfair. Gary Rhodes was much worse.

Nothing about Austin Healey, arguably the least interesting person ever to feature in a talent contest.

I could understand there being a certain warped appeal in voting every week for someone terrible if it was something really off the wall (like if Bez came on every week and did the Birdie Song dressed as a giant chicken), but there's really nothing amusing about John Sergeant just dancing poorly. It's not comically bad, just a bit rubbish.

John Sergeant, arguably the least talented person ever to feature in a talent contest

Lol at celebrities and journalists acting all surprised that a contest in which the public vote is not based primarily on talent... People will vote for contestants that they identify with, and a lot more people identify with JS than muscle flexing Austin.

See, we dunno that they do, though. Healey's not been in dance-off yet, so it's entirely possible that the public find him enthralling. Maybe.

Mandelson admits Strictly 'envy'

Lord Mandelson says he has been watching Strictly Come Dancing with "a degree of envy" and told the BBC it would be nice to be asked to take part.

The business secretary said he was supporting ex-political correspondent John Sergeant on the show.

But he joked he was a better dancer and offered to demonstrate his skills next time he was invited onto the BBC.

Lord Mandelson later added: "It would be nice at least to be invited into the audience."

How good that Mandelson has the time even to think about this programme, let alone go on it, in the midst of the worst recession this century.

Every great statesman needs a cultural hinterland.

This from AA Gill in the Sunday Times yesterday, totally OTM:

There is a crisis at the very heart of democracy. Last week, just as the American media proved that, yes, they could manipulate the man they loved into the White House, so it was here in Britain, mother of parliaments. The crisis is that the electorate have got it all wrong in two polls — on The X Factor and Nonentities Come Dancing. All right-thinking people realised the masses had made a desperate error, akin to Germany in 1933, by voting off some dumpy-arsed, tearful cruise-ship warbler from The X Factor. Cheryl Cole said it was a travesty, and Simon Cowell that it was plain the public weren’t voting for talent. In the Upper House, on Strictly Come Dancing, a terpsichorially challenged audience failed to dismiss the political broadcaster John Sergeant for not dancing properly, or at all. One of the judges — the strangest collection of human effluvia this side of Grimms’ Fairy Tales — admonished us by saying we must remember this was a dancing competition.

Now, I think it’s time I called the old dancing judges, Cheryl and Simon into my office to remind them of a few home truths. Listen carefully, all of you. Strictly Come Dancing is not a dancing competition. The X Factor is not a talent contest. The Queen Vic is not a real pub, and Basil Brush isn’t actually a talking fox. They are all entertainments. Dragons’ Den isn’t real venture capitalism, and I’m a Celebrity. . . Get Me Out of Here! isn’t a real jungle or, indeed, real celebrity, and everybody there has been begging their agents to get them in it. You are all suffering from a common green-room delusion: you believe your own billing. You are not on television because you’re experts or gurus. You’re there because you’re either funny, hateful or shaggable, and if you’re in any doubt which, then it’s not the latter.

The public votes for what makes the best television. If that means dismissing a dull genius for amusing crapness, they’ll do it without thinking. Hands up anyone who remembers the name of the men’s ski-jump gold medallists the year Eddie the Eagle came last? Exactly. Who knows, who cares?

There have been some interesting studies done on the wisdom of crowds. It turns out they’re almost always intuitively right. You really can’t chase ratings, court popularity and then claim your audience has got it wrong. They understand that the airwaves and iTunes are chock-a-block with talent they will never get round to listening to, better than anything on The X Factor, and that there was once a real dance competition on television. Only late-night drunks watched it. What we want is a fat oik who’ll sing Nessun Dorma once a week, and that kid who fell on his back in the shower. The audience isn’t a talent agency. They want to switch on the telly and be amused for an hour, and John Sergeant dancing is Dr Johnson’s dog and, therefore, entertainment.

Blimey, AA Gill "Also" commands people into his office!

Monday morning, 9 am sharp, I don't doubt.

Could have sworn Vince Cable also sent some feelers to the BBC about being on the show as well.

Hey, the Australian version had a far-right politician come second once, maybe it's time for N.Griffin to get his soft shoe shuffle on.