I saw it earlier but I've been mad busy today
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:48 (fourteen years ago) link
was also prevented by personal wretchedness felt when catching myself thinking 'hmm, I don't really imagine that Sasha Frere-Jones would big up Dream Theater in this situation, somehow'
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Every Onion music story must reference Steely Dan now, it's a rule.
― Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 00:57 (fourteen years ago) link
A small but especially vocal contingent tirelessly lobbied for the inclusion of at least one selection from Steely Dan's 1977 tour de force Aja, preferably the song "Peg."
"Blatantly dismissing what the U.S. government has done to these men is an unconscionable miscarriage of justice," Pitchfork.com contributor Andy Ragazzo said. "I've been here for nearly six hours, and I haven't heard one person other than myself so much as mention the groundbreaking work of minimal techno and microhouse artist Ricardo Villalobos."
"It almost makes me ashamed to be an American," Ragazzo added
OK who's the ILX inside man at the Onion... fess up!
― hulk would smash (Trayce), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:24 (fourteen years ago) link
the funny thing is that I am one of those music snobs who has complained about the predictable use of metallica to torture prisoners
― berberbrebreerbbrerberereerb (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:29 (fourteen years ago) link
Little Bummer Boy
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyXmasDecor.jpg
― Henry Frog (Frogman Henry), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 07:58 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.last.fm/music/Part+Chimp/_/Li%27l+Bummerboy
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 08:05 (fourteen years ago) link
I like that the obvious label requires a parenthetical aside.
― Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 10:06 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_device_desirable_old_device
― audacity, hubris, overweening pride! (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 4 December 2009 12:51 (fourteen years ago) link
^^ came here to post that; it describes me to a tee -0-
― 囧 (dyao), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 02:21 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_study_reveals_most_children
Heartbreakingly OTM
― You treat your step-mother with respect, Pantera (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:07 (fourteen years ago) link
got two onion compilation for christmas, happy days.
― stop grieving, it's only a chicken (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:08 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/ourannualyear09
loving this whole thing
― super sexy psycho fantasy world (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:03 (fourteen years ago) link
The one about the Sumerians is killing me.
― just a moonful of sugar (Abbott), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:18 (fourteen years ago) link
Hahah this is great. The "long elaborate timeline" with "15 year old enlightened by Nirvana" in 100BC and again in 1991.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 22:15 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSt1m4NFUl8
― un(!)registered (unregistered), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 23:37 (fourteen years ago) link
Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian
― StanM, Wednesday, 13 January 2010 14:41 (fourteen years ago) link
They're on to ILX: Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong
― what of the fuck you talkie bout (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 25 January 2010 16:47 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/as_much_as_i_hated_putting_my
― MPx4A, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:20 (fourteen years ago) link
has everybody seen the dedicated Jean Teasdale site? http://hometowns.cyber-net-village.com/Orlando/7302/Rick/sportzone/misc/folders/Jean/index.php
― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:36 (fourteen years ago) link
;_;
xpost
― koogs, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:37 (fourteen years ago) link
i went out with jean teasdale in school i think.
― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:39 (fourteen years ago) link
dog story hits a little too close to the bone to bring the lols. :'(
― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:43 (fourteen years ago) link
(I'm still waiting for my little guy to wake up too.)
― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:44 (fourteen years ago) link
I think we all did, darraghmac.
― dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:46 (fourteen years ago) link
dog story seem mean spirited :(
reminds me of that scene in dumb and dumber where they behead the blind girls parrot and put it back on with foil. and the girl just sits there and pets it and waits for it to talk. made me all sad in fifth grade.
― dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:48 (fourteen years ago) link
going out with jean teasdale made me sad in 5th grade
― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:53 (fourteen years ago) link
that dog story is almost perfect in its commitment to cruel comedy
― PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! (HI DERE), Thursday, 4 February 2010 15:25 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/feb-01-2010
Editorial cartoons are back, though this one seems out of character for a true, America-lovin' Dem-hatin' patriot like Kelly.
― a black white asian pine ghost who is fake (Telephone thing), Thursday, 4 February 2010 23:50 (fourteen years ago) link
OMG the Jean Teasdale site. I love the URL, that just makes it perfect.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Friday, 5 February 2010 00:20 (fourteen years ago) link
Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti'
more otm and sad than funny.
― dyao, Friday, 5 February 2010 06:23 (fourteen years ago) link
"Allowing gays to serve openly in the Army is a long overdue reform, but it must be accompanied by an assurance that heterosexuals will be able to serve openly in the Navy."
― MPx4A, Friday, 5 February 2010 12:55 (fourteen years ago) link
holy lol
NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission
― sleepingbag, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:05 (fourteen years ago) link
Hahahah @ all the Major toms.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:11 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyNasaBudget.jpg
― am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:14 (fourteen years ago) link
lol @ "'red' alert"
― wall•egina (s1ocki), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:17 (fourteen years ago) link
GULP!
― am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:24 (fourteen years ago) link
lol @ Spock's boneyness, Kirk's stoutness, and Uhura as Lady Liberty (skirt is too long, though).
― nickn, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 00:37 (fourteen years ago) link
liberty's got olive oyl knees!
― international slackness (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 02:38 (fourteen years ago) link
So does Kirk. And so are the elbows and shoulders.
― you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 03:56 (fourteen years ago) link
Wal-Mart Cuts Over 13,000 Of What It Calls Jobs
― international slackness (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 10 February 2010 11:46 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Bill-later.jpg
― Darin, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/20_000_tons_of_pubic_hair_trimmed
― goole, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:43 (fourteen years ago) link
i love it when they go gross
"Bzzzzzzzz," he added. "Timber!"
megalols
― you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 12 February 2010 21:23 (fourteen years ago) link
haaa i came to post that magazine cover
― V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:29 (fourteen years ago) link
"I'm not going to let corporate America dictate the date or time at which I choose to groom my genitals," said Denver resident Marcus Shannon, adding that Valentine's Day was "invented by the razor industry" to sell grooming devices. "If you really love somebody, you should shave your pubes year-round."
A1
― Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:46 (fourteen years ago) link
this made me LOL
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/rise_in_teen_pregnancy_proves
― amuse-douche (s1ocki), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:48 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah i've had "coming back with so much thunder it's like they never left" as a phrase in my head all day
― V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:49 (fourteen years ago) link