unfunniest "comedians"

commode-ians

The wit and wisdom of Emo Phillips:

"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something..."

_______________________________

"My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'."

Ew!

If you didn't learn from Gallagher, beware of prop comedians.

what was even the point of them running that list if they weren't going to go after Dunham?

yeah, isn't he the most "current" ?

Emo Phillips is great.

The Dunham blurb was the only one that made me laugh!

Famous prop comic Bobby Hill did not make the list.

my bad somehow i skipped past Dunham in the gallery, thought he wasn't there

emo's bit about the dog getting run over is hysterical. i can't believe he's on any list like that at all it's just baffling.

I thought you meant Emo Phillips' religious joke was:

"I prayed to God for a new bike, but my mom told me God doesn't work that way.
So, I stole a bike and prayed to God to forgive me!"

Feel bad for saying it but... Stewart Lee

Feel bad for asking this but . . . who is Stewart Lee?

Sorry, I got it.

i thought stewart lee is pretty funny.

He is also due to appear on Celebrity Mastermind, with jazz-improv guitarist Derek Bailey as his special subject.

Seems like a great bloke, heart's in the right place, good taste, not funny

I think Stewart Lee's very funny. But his style is quite... singular.

emo philips is funny: "I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know... reelection to the Senate?"

Emo Philips can write a damn good joke, but I can't really stomach his delivery.

quite liked that church one actually. better if PBPhilBrown was the guy trying to stop the person from jumping though

More to comedy than saying a funny line, of course

Emo's wonderful, I agree. And I love his delivery.

The only Emo line that I can ever remember is something like: 'My cousin died from a bee sting. He was a tightrope walker'

More to comedy than saying a funny line, of course

So many comedians rely on the delivery and never bother to write a funny line that I'll settle for a funny line any day of the week and twice on Tuesday.

those last two emo jokes were pretty good!

Yes, but imagine him saying it

While Cook isn't inherently unfunny, and has some very good material, he's suffered from spreading himself too thin...

This Newsweek article was written by an ardent Dane Cook apologist. It's borderline evil. Don't read it!

i have never seen/heard emo phillips

Emo Philips is great with a punchline. Once you get his whole groove, you understand that swallowing the punchline is his exaggerated way of being uncomfortable with consistently writing such funny goddamn punchlines. All comedians hate themselves, after all.

thanks for the psychiatric pro-tip

Hey, I only know what I hear on television.

From comedians.

Feel bad for saying it but... Stewart Lee

He does have some good material, it's just that Richard Herring came up with it in the '90s.

BTW, Andrew Dice Clay may be horrifyingly offensive, and he did enjoy the profits from the most Nazi batshit audience following ever for a comedian, but when he has a joke to tell, he knows how to tell it.

I could never listen to Emo Phillips long enough to hear the jokes, his voice and delivery are too off-putting.

xp ...and when he doesn't have a joke, he knows how to not tell it. Look, the guys first comedy album was a double-CD 2-hour affair called "The Day The Laughter Died", was produced by Rick Rubin (!), and had a sticker on the front that said "Warning: This album contains no jokes." He has a bit about being pissed off at the price of shampoo, so he dumps the contents of a cheaper bottle on the supermarket aisle "like somebody's load" and fills it with the more expensive stuff. It takes a certain bent to get it, I grant you, but the dude could be really funny. Almost as an art project, more than as someone who tells jokes.

After a while, I don't think he got the joke anymore either. Which is a problem.

swapping cheap stuff at supermarket with expensive stuff is one step up from the wonky trolley wheel, i suppose

Ok but imagine someone actually doing that, and you see the level of absurd he's going after.

again, as someone who hasn't seen the guy: sounds like he's in hedberg territory w/some of that? like that tightrope walker joke is v v hedberg

i've done it with freerange eggs (swapped loads of caged hen ones into the freerange box) - animal welfare sponsored by someone better off.

granted, none of them are stephen wright. "In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."

"My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."

"I was watching a football game with my grandfather. They made a touchdown, and when they showed the replay, he thought they made another one. I didn't correct him. I figured the game he was watching was better."

I like the Wright bit about having an apartment that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to make toast, you had to take your sweater off really fast.

once there was this kid who wanted me to draw him a sheep, so i drew him a few sheep but he wasn't happy with any of them, so in the end i drew a box and told him the sheep was inside the box, and he was very happy.

and then i went to work at the cafe, and then a man came in and he said he wanted coffee. he was a smelly man. tommy did not like him. tommy said 'we didn't have any coffee' .. and then the man just went!

NEW YORK – Comedy Central won't be renewing "The Jeff Dunham Show" for a second season.

The show, featuring comedian Jeff Dunham and his repertoire of puppets, attracted plenty of attention, both positive and negative. Its debut drew 5.3 million viewers, a season premiere record for Comedy Central. But most of the reviews were terrible, and ratings dwindled during the season.

Comedy Central spokesman Steve Albani says the network will continue "to be in business with Jeff in a big way," including a live tour, standup special, DVDs and consumer-products partnership.

Comedy Central signed a multi-platform deal with Dunham in March.

Albini give up producing records then?

James fucking Cordon deserves to have his name on this thread a million times over. I read as far as Dom calling out Ben Elton and thought, fuck me, that guy wrote for Black Adder and there is shit waaaaaaaaaaaaay worse out in this forsaken hell hole. Gavin and Stacy doesn't have jokes. Even Michael fucking Macintyre has bad jokes, Gavin and Stacy is just the worst 'oh working class life and welsh people are funny, right?' bullshit.