The phrase "Supreme Court Overturns Car" makes me laugh every single time I see it.
― adamj, Tuesday, 3 November 2009 10:06 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/united_airlines_exploring
― a 40-foot-long electrified pickle (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 14:31 (sixteen years ago)
HAHAH.
"EMT Craig Anton was first on the scene.""I jumped out of the ambulance and I ran to the wreckage to make sure that the victim was still breathing or else was Glenn Beck."
― Adam Bruneau, Tuesday, 3 November 2009 17:08 (sixteen years ago)
Hahah yes "radio host Rush Limbaugh, who made a point of dying of the virus during his show on Wednesday" was hilarious.
― i obtain much semillon (Trayce), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 23:27 (sixteen years ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEyFH-a-XoQ
― Bobby Wo (max), Thursday, 5 November 2009 16:32 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/timeless_masterpiece_liked
― BIG STROON aka the santaclara drug (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 5 November 2009 16:36 (sixteen years ago)
Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be
― circa1916, Monday, 16 November 2009 19:18 (sixteen years ago)
The choice of Escondido as the setting = utterly OTM.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 16 November 2009 19:27 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyNewspapers.jpg
― luol deng (am0n), Monday, 16 November 2009 19:32 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Obama_wh.jpg
― Darin, Friday, 20 November 2009 17:24 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/boy_finds_own_real_life_e_t
Love the presenters.
― Not the real Village People, Friday, 20 November 2009 19:44 (sixteen years ago)
My adolescence in a nutshell. (Warning: Plays audio.)
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 20 November 2009 21:11 (sixteen years ago)
You know, I'm surprised this hadn't been done yet:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_music_snobs_protest
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 23 November 2009 19:28 (sixteen years ago)
haa
― my fave thing to do on the computer is what im doing right now (acoleuthic), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:44 (sixteen years ago)
I saw it earlier but I've been mad busy today
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:48 (sixteen years ago)
was also prevented by personal wretchedness felt when catching myself thinking 'hmm, I don't really imagine that Sasha Frere-Jones would big up Dream Theater in this situation, somehow'
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:50 (sixteen years ago)
Every Onion music story must reference Steely Dan now, it's a rule.
― Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 00:57 (sixteen years ago)
A small but especially vocal contingent tirelessly lobbied for the inclusion of at least one selection from Steely Dan's 1977 tour de force Aja, preferably the song "Peg."
"Blatantly dismissing what the U.S. government has done to these men is an unconscionable miscarriage of justice," Pitchfork.com contributor Andy Ragazzo said. "I've been here for nearly six hours, and I haven't heard one person other than myself so much as mention the groundbreaking work of minimal techno and microhouse artist Ricardo Villalobos."
"It almost makes me ashamed to be an American," Ragazzo added
OK who's the ILX inside man at the Onion... fess up!
― hulk would smash (Trayce), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:24 (sixteen years ago)
the funny thing is that I am one of those music snobs who has complained about the predictable use of metallica to torture prisoners
― berberbrebreerbbrerberereerb (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:29 (sixteen years ago)
Little Bummer Boy
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyXmasDecor.jpg
― Henry Frog (Frogman Henry), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 07:58 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.last.fm/music/Part+Chimp/_/Li%27l+Bummerboy
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 08:05 (sixteen years ago)
I like that the obvious label requires a parenthetical aside.
― Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 10:06 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_device_desirable_old_device
― audacity, hubris, overweening pride! (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 4 December 2009 12:51 (sixteen years ago)
^^ came here to post that; it describes me to a tee -0-
― 囧 (dyao), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 02:21 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_study_reveals_most_children
Heartbreakingly OTM
― You treat your step-mother with respect, Pantera (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:07 (sixteen years ago)
got two onion compilation for christmas, happy days.
― stop grieving, it's only a chicken (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:08 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/ourannualyear09
loving this whole thing
― super sexy psycho fantasy world (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:03 (sixteen years ago)
The one about the Sumerians is killing me.
― just a moonful of sugar (Abbott), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:18 (sixteen years ago)
Hahah this is great. The "long elaborate timeline" with "15 year old enlightened by Nirvana" in 100BC and again in 1991.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 22:15 (sixteen years ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSt1m4NFUl8
― un(!)registered (unregistered), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 23:37 (sixteen years ago)
Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian
― StanM, Wednesday, 13 January 2010 14:41 (sixteen years ago)
They're on to ILX: Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong
― what of the fuck you talkie bout (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 25 January 2010 16:47 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/as_much_as_i_hated_putting_my
― MPx4A, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:20 (sixteen years ago)
has everybody seen the dedicated Jean Teasdale site? http://hometowns.cyber-net-village.com/Orlando/7302/Rick/sportzone/misc/folders/Jean/index.php
― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:36 (sixteen years ago)
;_;
xpost
― koogs, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:37 (sixteen years ago)
i went out with jean teasdale in school i think.
― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:39 (sixteen years ago)
dog story hits a little too close to the bone to bring the lols. :'(
― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:43 (sixteen years ago)
(I'm still waiting for my little guy to wake up too.)
― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:44 (sixteen years ago)
I think we all did, darraghmac.
― dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:46 (sixteen years ago)
dog story seem mean spirited :(
reminds me of that scene in dumb and dumber where they behead the blind girls parrot and put it back on with foil. and the girl just sits there and pets it and waits for it to talk. made me all sad in fifth grade.
― dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:48 (sixteen years ago)
going out with jean teasdale made me sad in 5th grade
― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:53 (sixteen years ago)
that dog story is almost perfect in its commitment to cruel comedy
― PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! (HI DERE), Thursday, 4 February 2010 15:25 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/feb-01-2010
Editorial cartoons are back, though this one seems out of character for a true, America-lovin' Dem-hatin' patriot like Kelly.
― a black white asian pine ghost who is fake (Telephone thing), Thursday, 4 February 2010 23:50 (sixteen years ago)
OMG the Jean Teasdale site. I love the URL, that just makes it perfect.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Friday, 5 February 2010 00:20 (sixteen years ago)
Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti'
more otm and sad than funny.
― dyao, Friday, 5 February 2010 06:23 (sixteen years ago)
"Allowing gays to serve openly in the Army is a long overdue reform, but it must be accompanied by an assurance that heterosexuals will be able to serve openly in the Navy."
― MPx4A, Friday, 5 February 2010 12:55 (sixteen years ago)
holy lol
NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission
― sleepingbag, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:05 (sixteen years ago)
Hahahah @ all the Major toms.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:11 (sixteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyNasaBudget.jpg
― am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:14 (sixteen years ago)