Best snippet of overheard conversation

"she's still technically his wife cause he passed away before she signed the divorce papers, but she had been livin with this other man in colorado and she just had a baby by him and how are you still gonna go to a man's funeral wearing the wedding ring when you're pregnant by another man in colorado"

"he asked if I was 29 or 30 and I was like well I'm just not gonna say 29 or 30 because if you were under 30 and you were going out with a girl it'd be better if she was 29? Right? Right? RIGHT? So I'm, like, I'm not gonna, like, 29, 30, whatever. And then his friend like just asks me *outright*. And I just, erm, I just lie.

(pause - guy says something quietly)

So yeah, I just lie and say I'm 29, because he asked me, like, outright and ifyour're20somthingit'sgonnamakeadifferenceifyourgirlis29andnot30. So I totally lied and now, now, now he thinks I'm 29 and not, like 30".

(pause)
(pause)

(Guy): "If I was you I'd forget all about that conversation"

"They want to shine at someone else's expense. I shine at my OWN expense."

"yeah well I have a different interpretation of Jack and Jill than she does"

not so much 'best' just bizarre as i walked past two guys on campus

'He wont even marry her! the fucking faggot!'......HUH?

At the bus stop coming home from work. Overweight (late?) middle aged woman to older man: "I GAVE you my ass!" And later something like: "That was a one time thing." Seems like he had some idea that he had a claim to it.

Yesterday on the bus some woman was going on at great length about the terms of her parole and the fact that she had to go on medication and she didn't want to but she was going to do it because she didn't want to go back to jail and HIS OWN MOTHER TRIED TO TURN HIM AGAINST ME, BUT HE DIDN'T LISTEN BECAUSE HE LOVES ME, and so on.

Unbelievable some of the stuff I hear on buses here, actually.

"I've never seen a white ice cream man."

- "I think I'd like to move to Oregon. Theres no sales tax there."
- "My grandfather was shot in Oregon."
- "Oh. I'm sorry. Was it bad?"
-"Yeah. He died."

(Two baristas in Starbux.)

I am in a coffeeshop, sitting next to a guy who is arranging a "bi/poly deal" over the phone for his "female friend, who is a very sweet girl" and " what I would say... umm... it's not one of these 'I'm a horny guy who wants to crash it deal'...I know that it's a woman, rather than a guy, and women generally are welcome and single guys are generally not... but if you show up with a woman that's another matter, but a guy coming himself... heh, heh, oh REALLY?... well the stereotype is that us sci-fi guys are all virgins.... you think? you think? well, you're a tall good-looking guy, billy, so I can understand why they might take you instead of, I won't name any names... I'm 53, but I look a little younger. When I was younger, when I was 42, I brought a 19 year old... and just to keep in mind I'm not looking for something for myself, I'm more into one on one things with young girls, just asking for a friend. keep it in mind..."

in an airport, on the phone:

"I have a conscience, I don't need yours"

well-to-do couple on tube:

mrs pigbottom: did you just scratch your bum and smell your finger? don't do that, stop it stop it *smacks his hand*

mr pigbottom: *too out of breath to speak*

2 minutes pass

mr pigbottom: *wipes sweat away from upperlip*

mrs pigbottom: YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!

watching them slowly realise the whole carriage were exchanging glances / laughing at them was so so so so classic

"She wants to write for WHAT? For a magazine? For this, for that?"

"... I would be the guy bashing down the doors and you would be the promiscuous tomboy..."

^snippet overheard between two forty-something men.

"... let's make lots of money ..."

'fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK you you're a fucker, mummy'

Four year old having quite the tantrum outside the window

"... I would be the guy bashing down the doors and you would be the promiscuous tomboy..."

^snippet overheard between two forty-something men.

― ERIC CANONTA FOR PRESIDETN! (onimo), Tuesday, January 24, 2012 10:31 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

man those guys are living life

those guys are tory mp's

Girl at next table in restaurant: "He said he would die for me, so I said 'go on then, die!'"

"her boyfriend came home and caught her drowning the youngest in the bath"
O_o

Is it wrong to hope it was a kitten?

That happened in LA a day or two ago (mother tries to drown her two kids - one dead, one in extremely critical condition). Probably talking about the news story.

Could be, but it sounded like she was talking about someone she knew. This was in Glasgow btw

http://www.ksee24.com/news/local/Mother-Snaps-Tries-to-Drown-Children-While-Father-Away-139456808.html

Fucking hell :(

Queuing out side a nightclub in Peterborough, circa 2000. Girl to her friend (thinking nobody could hear) "I could do with some cock in me tonight"

I was at Saver's today, and as "Genius of Love" played over the PA, one employee said to another, "That's the last time I ever James Brown with you."

i wish i could have heard more, but busy pavement etc

big burly guy in suit
"Nobodies fishing it, and nobodies blogging their tits off!"

(he could have meant phishing, who can tell)

"It was ridiculous. They wanted me to write to ask for permission to get married in the church just because I had never been baptised or been a practising Catholic."

Woman on train not getting the ridiculous bit of that situation.

"Is Robert Johnson dead?"
"I don't think I know him."
"Used to play up the golf club, bit of a fuckin' lunatic..."
"You mean Ronnie Johnson?"
"Aye, Ronnie."
"Aye, he's deid."

shame, how norway could use him now

few years back in Dublin I saw this couple exiting a shop, and as the man opened his wallet he said to the woman: "well... it's either baby food or cigarettes".

"Don't fucking phone me again until I can hear you!"

"Oh you mean Atlantic City? I meant at the bus stop."

"Either way, he's definitely going to be deported."

"The last thing I remember, you were wearing a hockey mask, talking about Frosted Flakes."

(guy on phone in break room)

"I didn't kill nobody's husband, and I sure as hell didn't ask for John the Baptist's head on a stick"

woman in a small crowd outside of a church in Philadelphia

"I heard you was beatin' people up for oranges."

"It's a good thing I did go to jail. If I would have married her I'd have strangled her." (That one not quite verbatim. I was trying to keep track of too much, since the material kept coming.)

I live in kind of a rough neighborhood of Albuquerque, but it's not really that rough. Really. I wouldn't be here still if I felt threatened. I don't walk around at night though.

New neighbors. I'm not sure my landlord's mom does as good a job vetting new tenants as my landlord does.

"I heard you was beatin' people up for oranges."

lol

Also something like: "All I do now is kick it and blaze."

I think the guy he was talking to just got out of jail so it actually makes a little sense.

(said angrily, in an office-lunch type pub) "I'm *not* German and how do you know my name?"

heard a few years ago. still try to figure it out from time to time.

"...and then my therapist got in a car accident. It seems like everyone I get close to...everyone I touch... Well, thank you. Have a good morning. "

Guy in my office cafeteria, to the cashier.

LOL

10 am this morning on Whitechapel Road, London. A guy in his 60s with four of his front teeth missing, shouting down his mobile "Just put a gun in his mouf and rob him!"

I almost died, there was blood coming out of my ass. And he was like "don't shit in front of my house!"

fizzles could it have been "no I'm *germam* but how did you know my name?"

german

"It was so good I wanted to, like, motorboat the cheesecake."

woman in my office