which characteristic you really can't stand in other people?

People who fidget loudly, pen tappers, finger drummers, loose-change janglers - these kind of people seem to want to force themselves into your head by constantly making themselves known.

And the tuneless whistlers, normally old men.

I am the most intolerant person I know, I seem to think I have a right to choose what I hear. I should buy a bubble.

People with loud voices

Well, that's me and Mister Monkey out of the friend running for Rumpie and Tom. I'm loud and he's a fidget.

people who don't like cats. actually, no, i don't mind if people "don't like" cats. people who actively hate cats and feel the need to mention that every five minutes, fuck them.

Absolutely. I'm all round suspicious of people who don't like animals, though. Equally, I'm suspicious of people who put their animals before their kids.

Bob Six, have we worked in the same office at any point, or are there more of these types of people around than I feared?

wow, i didn't think it will get so many "new answers"...

People who can't stand characteristics in other people. :-P

Obsequiousness. Desperation.

Inability to realise that's not a fault when I do something, just when someone else does.

Misanthropy rules! So many bad qualities, so little time to enumerate them!
I hold grudges forever.

Also on my hate list: the women who wear filmy wafty swimsuit cover-ups into the grocery store. Also muumuus, caftans, dashikis or any variant of alcoholic hausfrau togs. Or worse, swimsuits with NO cover-up. They wouldn't do that in Larchmont of West Hartford or wherever the fuck they come from, so why do they think they can do it here? Do they think this is one big fucking SPA?
People completely filthy from work in the grocery store, they're okay. I'm one of them.

when people dont stop freaking talking, especially about themselves

Bad listening skills, too. Trying to converse with bad listeners, especially ones who can't stop talking about themselves, is such a frustrating experience for me. Listening is a hard thing to do and I'm not always as good as I could be at doing it, but I can't stand talking to people who don't know how to have a two-way conversation.

These are people who completely ignore what you say but still continue to talk to you so that they can have a platform for their monologues. It's unbelievable how many people are like this.

Excuse me, I wasn't listening.
SUV owners who don't know how to back out of a parking space. I'm trying to not be such a hater-of-my-sister-woman here, but face it, these are all women. I am way harsher on my own kind. Mainly because so many women think that they occupy some sort of moral high ground. Like if women ruled the world it would all be peace and love and massages in the menstrual hut.
Bitches.

At least men KNOW that they are worthless pieces of shit.

i seriously don't know what 'sense of entitlement' means ...? i hear people using it all the time as a complaint, usually about people who are class-wise / race-wise / age-wise something different than the complainant and are behaving in a borderline-obnoxious or snobby way.

fwiw my answer is 'people who take offense not when they actually feel offended, but when they recognize an opportunity to pretend offense'

You do not live in Lincoln Park and buy a Rottweiler, I don't care how sweet they are. Your sense of entitlement has become so overgrown that now you're abusing an animal without even realizing it.

I would say people who buy animals period, no matter where they live. But if these big city dwellers with big dogs adopted them from a shelter I would cut them slack. Sure that dog would be better off with more space but at least they are alive.

I also greatly dislike anyone who has no regard for the feelings of animals.

Also, people who assume they know and understand people based on a few interactions. People always have a story you don't know and don't understand. You are not god and you don't have to right to judge people or pronounce their worth based on your limited knowledge.

On the flipside, my inclination to always give people the benefit of the doubt has cost me sometimes. But I figure it's a good quality and I won't abandon it just b/c a few people do turn out to be assholes.

How do you "pretend to be offended"? Is that like when you "pretend to like" certain music (i.e. pop or indie or whatever is age or gender inappropriate for you?)

Another: when instead of laughing, these totally aloof people just say, in a completely flat and dead way, "That's so funny", "Oh my god that's hilarious." If something was actually funny, you'd laugh, right? I'm surprised this hasn't been said, I'm sure I've heard many people complain about this.

"OMG that's so wrily amusing!"

I also greatly dislike anyone who has no regard for the feelings of animals.

Yea this one really bothers me too. I can't say I dislike the people who disregard animal suffering because that would include many, many people I love (my whole family and many friends for that matter), but that quality definitely bothers me.

Especially when people who absolutely love their pet/cats/dogs (and could never imagine slaughtering such pets for food) but somehow completely fail to generalize that respect/appreciation/value to other animals. I just have a hard time getting it.

remy's is a good one

im going to go with champions of the underdog

I can't stand people who are overly judgmental or dismissive. When someone asks me what I thought of something (like a movie, for example), and I happened not to like it, I'll try to be diplomatic and say something like "maybe it's not my cup of tea" in case the other person really liked it. But I'm amazed at how many people don't concern themselves with this and will just spout off about how much they hated something.

I think I dislike this because it shuts down the potential for useful dialogue. I'll happily engage in a spirited debate about art or politics, but when you approach the subject right off the bat with either vitriol or withering disdain, I find it really frustrating and a barrier to further conversation.

-- jaymc, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 5:26 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

uGH YES! i have this one friend who always seems to think she owes it to herself to BE SO BLUNT ABOUT HER OPINIONS, that you end up feeling like you can't possibly have a strong opinion of your own. if i were to tell her i liked a movie she didn't like she'd be like "really i fucking HATED it, here are the 10 reasons why."

it's like, okay, did i ask you for all the history? no, i was more interested in sharing perspectives, not validating your personal reaction.

How do you "pretend to be offended"?

I think it's obvious passive-aggressive bullshit and when people do this. For instance, I used to work with a woman who would get a few beers in her and swear like a sailor. And even without the beers would talk about how much she loved Tarantino movies. Just adored But one afternoon when a mutual co-worker of ours spilled hot coffee on her hand and said 'shit' , the sweary, Tarantino-loving coworker put on a big act of being a blushing Southern belle with a 'why, that language is totally inappropriate - I think you should apologize for your nasty behavior immMEDiately' schtick.

Also, my friend's aunt (knowing my friend is gay) put up a folding map over her eyes when she saw a guy give his boyfriend a peck on the cheek because she finds 'homosexuals' very 'disgusting and licentious' but continued to peek at them out of the corner of her eye all afternoon.

See also: people who regularly watch Catch-A-Predator shows to feel good about themselves, people who sign petitions re. movies they haven't seen, etc.

How do you "pretend to be offended"? Is that like when you "pretend to like" certain music (i.e. pop or indie or whatever is age or gender inappropriate for you?)

It's more when you recognise that someone has said something a bit out of place, and you aren't actually offended by it but you pretend to be as a control thing. I think. I've certainly seen people do that.

Like if, for example, you were hanging around with your brother's girlfriend and your brother, and your brother's girlfriend was in a shitty mood, so when your brother accidentally called her by your name, she pretended to be offended by his inability to tell the difference between his sister and his girlfriend, just so she could make him a bit more miserable than he already was.

people who regularly watch Catch-A-Predator shows to feel good about themselves

How do you imagine this show makes people feel good about themselves? Not being dickish, just truly want to hear your reasoning.

At least, not people who like them enough to own one over 10 lbs.

what does this mean?? under 10lbs they arent really dogs?

The 'Now we're safer that the bastard is behind bars -- serves him right!' attitude is part and parcel of the [german word that means 'pleasure in others' misery that i'm aphasia-ing] that makes me want to scream.

ok, so... people who live in the city but insist on having big-ass dogs. Stupid or so stupid they should be shot?

I hate these yuppie animal-abusing cocksuckers so much. You do not live in Lincoln Park and buy a Rottweiler, I don't care how sweet they are. Your sense of entitlement has become so overgrown that now you're abusing an animal without even realizing it.

Forget putting down the animal when it inevitably gets sick. Shoot the owner, give the dog to me. I know people who like dogs, at least. It'll live better than is it stays all day in your tiny-ass expensive-ass well-appointed apartment.

And also, fuck you.

-- kenan, Monday, August 6, 2007 10:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

this is so retarded its blowing my mind

We have two big dogs. We are definitely "dog people". Which means we must have a big truck which always smells of dogs and there's dog hair everywhere. We are serious. People with small dogs are merely hobbyists.

xpost

"'Now we're safer that the bastard is behind bars -- serves him right!' "

Although my reaction is not so extreme (partly b/c I know this is a small dent and not making the majority of children any safer) as a victim of child sexual abuse these shows are, not necessarily enjoyable, but comforting and gratifying to me.

And yes, it most definitely serves them right.

schadenfreude

xpost

OK, Remy, thanks for explaining it, that makes more sense to me now.

I think that would probably drive me insane, too - goes along with that 'not tell the truth because it makes you *look* like a "nice person"' thing.

Did it ever occur to you that people withhold "truth" (by which I am thinking you mean they're actual opinions) b/c it does no good to share them other than to satisfy their own ego/guilt? Actions aren't always about what you look like. Some people actual have concern for other people's feelings.

Forget putting down the animal when it inevitably gets sick. Shoot the owner, give the dog to me. I know people who like dogs, at least. It'll live better than is it stays all day in your tiny-ass expensive-ass well-appointed apartment.

And also, fuck you.
-- kenan, Monday, August 6, 2007 10:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

this is so retarded its blowing my mind
-- sunny successor, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 2:49 PM (33 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

hmm I don't see why -- all it's saying is "Keeping a big dog in a small, urban space when big dogs actually require a lot of space to run around and be healthy in fact causes some harm to those dogs. So don't do it."

Perhaps it's the fuck you and shoot the owner bit.

haha yea maybe

ms misery, i think masonic boom is making the point that it's people who AREN'T doing it (withholding their truthful opinions) out of concern for others welfare/feelings, but rather to maintain a veneer of shallow nice-ness or civility, that annoy her.

People who don't clean the bars off and put the weights away at the gym. I think this is related to the "sense of entitlement" thing above.

thank you -- schadenfreude it is i meant.

moreover, i just find it difficult to get off watching weak or unsane or mentally weird people be 'served justice' by a tv host and squad of cops no matter what they've done. COPS is often the same way -- watching a junkie get busted or a hooker get set up and thrown to the pavement makes me hate the set-up more than the perp. There's no charity to it, no understanding. They don't make any effort to help the person -- only punish them.

okay HUGE ONE: ppl who find joy in criticizing others.

this has to be in my top 3.

out of concern for others welfare/feelings, but rather to maintain a veneer of shallow nice-ness or civility, that annoy her.

This seems a hard thing to determine. Hypocrisy, yes is transparent and annoying. Talking behind someone's back when you're nice to their face, yes. Those are concrete and annoying. But I guess I can't fathom how you can truly understand someone's motives. (And why civility is necessarily such a bad thing. In certain situations it is best to withhold your own negative opinions. If it truly does no good, fixes no problems, it isn't worth your energy or concern.)

weak or unsane or mentally weird people be 'served justice' by a tv host and squad of cops no matter what they've done

It is very true that our penal system does next to nothing to help these people. However this does not mean they shouldn't be stopped. Having sexually explicit conversations with minors, molesting or attempting to is a heinous crime and they do need to be removed from society. (there is a whole thread on TCAP somewhere else so maybe we shouldn't get too far into this.)

People who don't clean the bars off and put the weights away at the gym. I think this is related to the "sense of entitlement" thing above.

Oooh! The gym! What about the theatrical grunters in the weight room!
Not that I've been to a gym in years, but I REMEMBER.

Oh, my real number one is:

Lack of (psychic) charity. Horrible selfish and self-protective conservative personal politics that're justified as intellectual positions. Instances:

1) My consulate general cousin who calls everybody abt. how there's a direct correlation b/w people in psychotherapy and global warming and it doesn't exist b/c only crazy people think it's true ergo if you believe you're nuts.

2) Middle-class white-collar people from the midwest who complain about border rights and mexicans coming into the country taking 'their' jobs.

3) J., my Jewish friend who finds all Catholics 'scary' and won't talk to them or hang out with them them because 'they make (her) feel uncomfortable'

4) 'Secular humanist' types who bully anybody of any faith or admitted agnosticism with nasty and condescending arguments about the illogic and magicality of their beliefs, their unprovability, and the worthlessness of any sort of religiously-inflected moral tenants. It's fine to think what you want, but don't subjugate ALL BELIEF IN THE UNIVERSE into a subset of your pseudo-academic 'logical' schema of 'unworthy stuff'. P.S. This also works in reverse [religious zealots condescending to the academic 'elites'].

And the people who allow their children to go TOTALLY APESHIT in the gym pool!

Overbreeders. "I know there's a global population crisis, but my genes are so special, my five snotnose brats will HEAL THE WORLD."

man, i can totally understand having 20 kids. they fucking rock.

Oh, my real number one is:

Lack of (psychic) charity. Horrible selfish and self-protective conservative personal politics that're justified as intellectual positions.

This is so, so OTM, and those instances you listed are, too. I'd add to that the fear of gay marriage and homophobia in general -- I don't understand why these are masked as intellectual positions when they are in fact such stupid and silly personal prejudices.

Trayce otm way upthread. disingenuity in general is what really bothers me about humans.

i have this one friend who always seems to think she owes it to herself to BE SO BLUNT ABOUT HER OPINIONS

I don't know if this is your experience, Surmounter, but it has occurred to me that some people's opinionatedness are sometimes borne out of insecurity. Like if they just put up this wall where they can't be challenged, then they never will be. I try to remember this before I go around just thinking someone's a huge asshole, but it's sad because I feel like I'd be able to have a more meaningful relationship with them if only they'd be more vulnerable, admit to their faults and blind spots, be comfortable with ambivalence, etc.

xp - #2 is justifiable fear being misplaced. Middle-class white-collar people SHOULD be worried as fuck about the economy tanking and losing their comfortable middle-class jobs. They're reachable and will listen if you want to talk about the real causes - they blame immigrants because everyone else blames immigrants, and they hear about the Mexicans on TV.

(all vs. working-class people for whom illegal immigration actually does narrow job availability and quash wages)

Everything irritates me. That's why I drink.

frustrated old people.annoying though sometimes understood

Like if women ruled the world it would all be peace and love and massages in the menstrual hut. Bitches.

Except Beth. Beth doesn't irritate me, but I'd have a drink with her anyway.

Forget putting down the animal when it inevitably gets sick. Shoot the owner, give the dog to me. I know people who like dogs, at least. It'll live better than is it stays all day in your tiny-ass expensive-ass well-appointed apartment.

You don't know what they do with the dog. They maybe walk their dog for an hour every day? Play with it? I mean, shit, some people have big ass houses but only go out once a week with their dogs.