c/d: paris hilton

As noted above.

because you've spent the past 48 hours thinking hey, I really need to know what CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS thinks about all this

^^^ Warning: reading the above is about as creepy / unnecessary / mindboggling as, I dunno, walking in on your mom having sex with Christopher Hitchens

DUDE NO EW

contains description / analysis of Christopher Hitchens watching Paris Hilton sex tape

T

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I

I was about to say... he seems very preoccupied by the aspects of Paris that bother me the least.

ugh damn you nabisco

ha I kind of liked it. hitchens sure hates the people.

hey you, yeah, the hoi polloi. the bits of me that resemble you make me SICK TO DEATH and I would NOT SHED A SINGLE TEAR were the entire race to be wiped out by a terrible illness or perhaps a bomb.

Fuck God, fuck the newspaper, why do I have to put up with all this shit from everyone, I just want a fucking drink.

hey you, "hoi" means "the" in greek, so you just said "the the people," but maybe you meant that.

just make sure you call him "Chris" from now on

cf jhoshea pointing out his entire career is a cry for help, with accompanying humorously captioned photographs. Perhaps that's why he empathizes with Hilton, they're both drunks who happened to stumble into career paths (one acting smart, the other acting dumb) that are just unfulfilling death spirals for each of them

just kidding tombot here is drink

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/images/im000430.jpg

rabbits and rum

where is his little umbrella

http://www.nothinspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/paris-hilton-sucking.jpg

HELP ME

http://foreveramber.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/slebfancydress.jpg

ok wtf

cop, aerobics instructor and. . .?

Haha yeah, I was gonna say, the two funniest things about this are possibly

(a) OF COURSE this guy has contempt for laws against drunk driving, and

(b) something about this suggests that he is totally unfamiliar with who Paris Hilton is apart from the sex tape, which is funny because it's TOO EASY to imagine Hitchens's only brushes with pop culture involving sitting around drunk in a filthy bathrobe, angrily surfing the web for porn, therefore

(c) LEAVE IT TO HIM to project something resembling "kiddie porn" onto people's interest in her doings

I CAN HAS COUNTING

given her comments on that infamous videotape, that pic above is especially um interesting.

crazy 'poet' guy at 5th Ave & 53rd subway platform:

PARIS IS A DISCONNECTED SOCIOPATH

WOMAN IN JAIL IS MAN'S FREEDOM

angrily surfing the web for porn

haha. nice adverb. GRRRR WHERE'S THE BLOODY PORN ON THIS THING

Lohan in video for "Let's Get Physical"

crazy 'poet' guy at 5th Ave & 53rd subway platform:

PARIS IS A DISCONNECTED SOCIOPATH

WOMAN IN JAIL IS MAN'S FREEDOM

dr. morbius please go buy me that sign, thx

i mean, those and the fact that hitchens's career over the past few decades has seemed to involve sitting home drunk and one by one breaking ties with people he used to know over some grand moral failing he suddenly detects in them, to the point where there are no humans left on the planet he has any shred of respect for except for ... paris hilton

the guy's whole career is like shakey mo on an RIP thread, except ... paris hilton

!

i saw him at a Martin Amis reading a few years back here in DC. he was tanked.

hahahahahahahahahahaha I love all of you now

yeah he's got a sort of vaudevillian charm to me - I think I enjoy him the way some people enjoy, umm, Paris Hilton - as some caricature who dependably brings the lulz

what if they got married? And had their own reality show?

I can't front, I would watch it every week

hey I respect lots of people

They're such gross angry lulz, though! Much like Hans Christian Andersen, everything he writes sounds much better read out loud in the trashed, fulminating voice of a guy who'd be about to commit some act of domestic abuse if only everyone hadn't abandoned him years and years ago. It'd be funny if he were some kind of hardboiled private detective or renegade cop, but these days it's like "hey, didn't you used to know XX?" and he goes "lemme tellllll you somefink about XX, I useta have respect for that sonofabitch, but then he said he liked FRUIT MENTOS, and now bloated amoral GIT is WORSE THAN NAZIS, he cannnn ZZZZZZZZ"

My grammar is bad there: Hans Christian Andersen is better read in the voice of a nice old man who has been asked to read a story to his grandchildren but is too drunk to focus on the pages, and so just makes everything up instead.

i enjoy christopher hitchens (and julie burchill &c &c) in much the same way i enjoy paris hilton! but not to the extent.

(nb i did not click on that article because i do not enjoy hitchens so much that i want to read about him wanking over hilton)

It'd be funny if he were some kind of hardboiled private detective or renegade cop, but these days it's like "hey, didn't you used to know XX?" and he goes "lemme tellllll you somefink about XX, I useta have respect for that sonofabitch, but then he said he liked FRUIT MENTOS, and now bloated amoral GIT is WORSE THAN NAZIS, he cannnn ZZZZZZZZ"

Have you been reading the letters of Kingsley Amis? Dude wrote letters just like this.

"Andershen, that'sh MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE that oughta hold the little bashtards..."

i enjoy christopher hitchens (and julie burchill &c &c) in much the same way i enjoy paris hilton! but not to the extent.

So which was Hitchens' best album?

hey you, "hoi" means "the" in greek, so you just said "the the people," but maybe you meant that.

Hoi polloi is Greek for “the common people,” but it is often misused to mean “the upper class” (does “hoi” make speakers think of “high” or "hoity-toity"?). Some urge that since “hoi” is the article “the hoi polloi” is redundant; but the general rule is that articles such as "the” and “a” in foreign language phrases cease to function as such in place names, brands, and catch phrases except for some of the most familiar ones in French and Spanish, where everyone recognizes “la"—for instance—as meaning “the.” “The El Nino” is redundant, but “the hoi polloi” is standard English.

btw, for all i know, "über" only means "over" in german, its use as an intensifier's being an english invention, so if you wanna get nitpicky you have a world of trouble in front of you.

pretty good Hitchens piece. i'm not gonna fault him for teaming up with 90% of the male population in finding Paris' cockmanship less than stellar.

yeah i was just joshin with the TOMBOTS

um it's cockSmanship, mr styleguide

(I don't think "uber" is used as an intensifier in English, or at least no more than the equivalent "over" is (overlord, overmind) -- it's an intensifier by spatial metaphor, let's say.)

(There is at least one translation of Andersen that says stuff like "so he went back to school to talk to the trolls -- because did I mention this was a school for trolls? cuz it was -- and he told them...")

"Uber" is gamer slang, I believe adapted from Nietzsche's concept of "das Uebermensch".