Pentagon's Afghan arms dealer = some 22-year-old guy from Miami Beach

Thanks! This is just what I've been hoping to see.

http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/images/armsdude-small.jpg
HI DERE

Since 2006, when the insurgency in Afghanistan sharply intensified, the Afghan government has been dependent on American logistics and military support in the war against Al Qaeda and the Taliban.

But to arm the Afghan forces that it hopes will lead this fight, the American military has relied since early last year on a fledgling company led by a 22-year-old man whose vice president was a licensed masseur.

Pro tip: If you are arrested for allegedly beating your girlfriend and you are the U.S. government's #1 arms supplier to Afghanistan, argue that your arrest would harm national security and hamper the global war on terror!

this is an absolutely top-notch news story

about some top-notch decisions by the united states government

i have gotten emails from people in nigeria with better business proposals than what the army signed off on here

lolest bid

just gets crazier as it goes on

he runs into trouble with Albanian graft and has phone convos (taped and passed on to the Times) with his Euro buddies, "maybe they <3 hookers? can we send them hookers?"

THIS IS ALBANIA, NOT ALBANY, AMIRITE??

ha the ammo was all scrap too, great story

yeah it was 40-year-old Chinese ammo from the 1960s! forgot to C+P that part. too many juicy details to mention!

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/03/27/world/27ammo03_190.jpg

vp

^^that guy is a massuse, too!

its really sad to me that a 25 y/o would have to resort to the shaved-head/goatee combo

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=31397346

Oh that's beautiful.

Well of course im a super nice guy!!!

All he needed was one friend -- and Tom would listen.

for the moment im basically just working and chilling with my boyz when im not, im looking for some hobbies like i keep saying im gonna go to the gym and i started playing football again which is definately my favorite sport. im one of those guys who needs to be entertained and having lots of fun all the time so if your also an undiagnosed case of ADD look me up. i like to eat good food and i dont know how to cook so i eat out alot!!!! ilike to travel whenever posssible sometimes for business , and of course i like going clubbing or going to a movie, oh and ive really taken a liking towards fine scotch whisky recently dont ask me why....

MY FAVORITE MOVIES ARE: HEAT,,BLOW,SCARFACE, FACE OFF, THE ROCK,GOFATHER, SCHINDLERS LIST,AMERICAN BEUTY ETC.....

This guy versus this guy.

efraim has 1 friends. Tom

awwwww

this country is so doomed

those are excerpts from his contract bid btw

dying!!! holy shit myspace

yeah this is all hilarious until you realize it's... not

My. God.

the new lord of war

http://b8.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00245/85/97/245717958_l.jpg

ned otm by the way, that la times / tupac hoax could be a thread all its own

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art4/0325081picjimmy1.jpg

my favorite little twist is that by dealing chinese munitions he may have violated the federal law against... dealing in chinese munitions.

yeah this is all hilarious until you realize it's... not

no doubt

all my posts about this will have one of... these.

unberievable

Bar-Kochba Botach

Republicans in Action

http://i28.tinypic.com/jp7cz7.jpg

on tinypic for posterity once the myspace get deleted

Just think - in 2024 he'll be running for president.

lol is that a funk & wagnall's on the top shelf there?

THIS BULLET'S GOT YOUR NAME A BUNCH OF FUCKING CORROSION ON IT, OSAMA!!!

http://i32.tinypic.com/vwr6zr.jpg

to be fair only some of those bullets are turning green

green bullets=gangrene when they hit you????

NY Jets vs. Taliban

yah even amateur gun freaks know the AK can take a licking, you could probably cram a bunch of civil war ammo in there, and still take an effective fight to the beheaders! bright side, everyone!!

my favorite little twist is that by dealing chinese munitions he may have violated the federal law against... dealing in chinese munitions.

seems like they knew that going in, too, they hired someone to uncrate the bullets from their metal boxes with chinese markings and the year of manufacture and put them in unmarked wooden boxes.

except that the m-16 is the primary us military rifle xp

yeah but the anti-taliban afgan forces have AKs

touche

don't test, bro, i watch military channel

ha the m-16 factiod is all i got

oh well looky here, u may be right

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,315121,00.html

Hmmm yessss, unmarked boxes. That's what I want my totally legit and extremely dangerous materials to come in.

lol the u.s. gave us these shitty m-16s and a bunch of rusty bullets - thanks guys!

i eagerly await fox's followup reporting on how those shipments turn out.

ha so many hilarious backhanded things in this article. i love low-key language.

here's journalistic low-key:

YOUNG EXECUTIVE David M. Packouz, 25, was AEY’s vice president. He is a licensed masseur.

here's military low-key:

Lt. Col. David G. Johnson, the command spokesman, said that while there were no reports of ammunition misfiring, some of it was in such poor condition that the military had decided not to issue it. “Our honest answer is that the ammunition is of a quality that is less than desirable; the munitions do not appear to meet the standards that many of us are used to,” Colonel Johnson said. “We are not pleased with the way it was delivered.”

here's translator low-key:

“This is what they give us for the fighting,” said the colonel, Amanuddin, who like many Afghans has only one name. “It makes us worried, because too much of it is junk.” Ammunition as it ages over decades often becomes less powerful, reliable and accurate.

nah it's not for M-16's or anything typical U.S. forces use, that's why they needed an outside supplier

The order sought 52 types of ammunition: rifle, pistol and machine-gun cartridges, hand grenades, rockets, shotgun slugs, mortar rounds, tank ammunition and more. In all, it covered hundreds of millions of rounds. Afghan forces primarily use weapons developed in the Soviet Union. This meant that most munitions on the list could be bought only overseas.

This whole thing sounds like a Gary Shteyngart novel.

Or the plot of the next Sacha B-C effort.

it's like all my sons, except more florida-y, and with more girlfriend- and valet-beating

why did they go to this guy when they had a fresh young internet hardman at their disposal

it's like JR by Gaddis, except with surplus ammo insteada surplus forks

hahaha who are you talking about? xp

best part about the valet-beating incident was that it put his $200 million arms contract in jeopardy because the cops found his fake ID, which is a felony. the guy had just turned 21 the day before and was all "pffft I don't even need that thing to drink anymore lol"

sorry I keep repeating the whole story I can't help myself

No that's okay, I don't have time to read all 8 pages anyway.

no the story is amazing it's worth repeating. . . question is, should it be a movie or not

DID YOU HEAR THE PART ABOUT --------- OMG

i know, every line of this thing is totally quotable, it's so great. also it's terrifying and sad.

who will ref this incident first in a speech, Hillz or Barry?

yes movie starring andy samburg, already has the haircut

itd be better to get someone funny to play the lead

Let me remind you all again: Florida is a GREAT place to live. No suntan oil required – you rub the toxic air on your nipples.

i didn't read the whole thing - did it touch on who the new #1 arms supplier might be?

This whole thing sounds like a Gary Shteyngart novel.

^^ this is the truest thing I've read on ILX in forever and ever

xpost - no they only cut this guy off as of ... today

and they say they're going to accept shipment of all the arms they've already paid for from him which is like $155 million more worth of shit

yay!

xpost

fuck a movie this needs to become the inspiration for a CSI Miami season finale

this thread already has half of caruso's lines in it! THE DIALOGUE IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE DIALOGUE

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

this is all hilarious until you realize it's...

:|
B|

...not

YAAAAAOOOOOWWWWW!!!

comments thread on TPM raises an interesting idea: two 20-something dipshits probably don't have the wherewithal for this kind of thing, even if it was corrupt. procuring the right contracts, setting up shit between with shady swiss dealers, knowing enough to swap out the chinese packaging, etc. there have to be some real adults involved somewhere, on the US side.

xp rofl

by dealing chinese munitions he may have violated the federal law against...

:|
B|

...dealing in chinese munitions.

YAAAAAOOOOOWWWWW!!!

Umm, gff, these are kinda just mob kids, no? That's the beauty of the "this is a Gary Shteyngart novel" comment (because that is kinda in fact the plot of both of his novels, in different ways)

yeah i hate to say it but it doesn't take too much smarts to sell surplus ammo

omg carso sunglass dawning emoticons!

efraim has 1 friends. Tom

:|
B|

...awwwww

YAAAAAOOOOOWWWWW!!!

Not smarts, but international connections of the "family business" type

omg caruso would totally say that in the meanest most sarcastic way possible xp

connections and sunglasses, that's all you need

god bless the free market

Have any of the political blogs run his daddy's name against donor lists?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/28/world/asia/28ammo.html?sq=arms%20dealers%20afghanistan&st=nyt&scp=1&pagewanted=print

follow up article

in jail mufukka: http://www.miamiherald.com/news/breaking_news/story/577409.html

word on the street = m4fi4

oh i see that that's already been posited here.

The government contracts to buy Chinese bullets from this schmuck and then busts him for selling them Chinese bullets. Well done everyone.

actually they contracted for hungarian bullets.

but there is plenty of blame for everyone