The dying days of the Fourth Reich: it's the 2007 AUSTRALIAN FEDERAL ELECTION

I am also watching out my front window, waiting for some Liberal Party foot soldier to put an election poster up by my house so I can diss the conservative fool and shove that cardboard up where the sun don't shine.

But knowing my neighborhood, I reckon The Greens will get there first.

But would the Greens bloke use cardboard???

You're right. Bob Brown probably will send out a YouTube vid instead. It should be the Democrats who'll get there first.

Hey, remember the Democrats?

Proof that Julia Gillard is a socialist and possibly a communist that wants to be the next Stalin: she has RED hair!!

DAY ONE:

John Howard is down and hip with "the kids" - promising tax cuts on YouTube!

a tax cut ain't gonna do it this time johnny (or ever for that matter)

Never underestimate the stupidity/gullibility of the Australian public, Jimbo.

I really havent been paying any attention: is it looking impossible for the Libs to get back in? Its just we were all so confident last time round and well, look what happened...

... and what he said.

Yeah but this time we got someone SANE leading the Labor Party.

Could Rudd be the John Kerry of Australia though?

nar he's hillary

I mean he's the nerd who speaks a weirdo foreign lingo and can't kick a football, I mean what kind of real Aussie is he?

wayne swan for PM

The 'Right Leadership' line seems set to be the Libs bumper sticker slogan.

At lweast they didn't pick something really smug and self-righteous....

I'm more concerned about the Kruddmeister as the John Howard of the ALP. Which means that by some time around 2025 his zero-impact personality might have osmoded into enough voters' minds to be seen as a potential Prime Minister.

I should mention that my local MP is totally hot and very much rootable.

LOL at the English papers going "look at John Howard for calling an election unlike THAT WIMP GORDON BROWN".

And not because John Howard has been putting it off for months and *had* to finally call it.

This is why we need another Republic referendum. This time, one not rigged by Howard.

Foreigners: feel free to ask questions. I will respond with obscure jokes, I promise.

Foreigners: feel free to ask questions. I will respond with obscure jokes, I promise.

In Australia, is it necessary to have no charisma to be in the running for prime minister?

Yes since 1996, I'm afraid.

In the good old days, you need to be an alcoholic to be in the running for PM.

If you elect a new leader, will your countrymen please fuck off out of East London en masse?

I should mention that my local MP is totally hot and very much rootable.

-- King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 11:12 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

.jpg plz

"I should mention that my local MP is totally hot and very much rootable."

I never knew you lived in Fabulous Phil Ruddock's electorate?

If you elect a new leader, will your countrymen please fuck off out of East London en masse?

Perhaps a new PM could negotiate a population exchange with all the Brit backpackers in Bondi?

Can we just drown both groups somewhere off the coast of Madagascar?

Although that chain of Ozzie pie shops in London have some good eating. Like a less council Greggs.

Pato election commentary. This thread is going to be GOLD. Please post pics of the candidates.

question: if im a US resident but an Australian citizen, do I need to vote?

Sadly, not that genuine stud (or that gay sex symbol himself, Wilson "Ironbar" Tuckey) but the rather lovely MP for Adelaide.

If you elect a new leader, will your countrymen please fuck off out of East London en masse?

That would be about the same time when your countrymen fuck off out of East Sydney en masse?

Aw shit, someone beat me to that cliche.

that would please a lot of people. (xpost)

if im a US resident but an Australian citizen, do I need to vote?

No, they changed the law so nobody under 50 can vote (I was told this by Triple J).

"if im a US resident but an Australian citizen, do I need to vote?"

The H of R and Senate seats you would vote in are both determined by where you live in Oz, and as you don't live in Oz at all, I would guess not. It might depend on whether you own property use in Oz, or how long you've lived elsewhere and whether you intend to return.

(KBP, is 'East Sydney' also known locally as 'West Dunedin'?

roffle of the day from JOHN LAWS of all people: he interviewed howard and rudd on his show this morning. an early talkback caller commented that he sounded quite pally with rudd and antagonistic toward howard, and asked if laws was getting paid by the ALP. lawsie asked the dude if he was being paid to be a fuckwit!!

Of course 'Disgusted of Drummoyne' wasn't being paid to be a fuckwit, Lawsy.

At least nowhere near as much as you are.

Paying Laws to be a fuckwit is like paying a rhinosceros to be ugly.

I never knew you lived in Fabulous Phil Ruddock's electorate?

I live there this week! Call me, Phil!

King Boy Deporto, not Estie.

Ask King Boy more questions, overseas people.

I should mention that my local MP is totally hot and very much rootable.

samez, she in middle: http://www.anthonyalbanese.com.au/images/400Richmond.JPG

Phwoar!!

KBP, is 'East Sydney' also known locally as 'West Dunedin'?

West Dunedin is the entire coastline from Sydney to Cairns!

I don't know why gangstas be hatin' on John Laws. Hegot dat bling bling, yo.

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200706/r154265_554938.jpg

What's that shining in his glasses? A gold plated console?

This morning on Kochie and Mel the phone in poll voted 90% to 10 in favour of spending the $30+ billion on better services rather than the tax cuts promised by Howard & Costello. It looks like Joe Public's going to need more convincing than getting their own money taxed then handed back to them.

OMG the public in thinking sensibly shock

is lawsy's ring a GOLDEN LION???

Yes, it appears so. There appears to be a ring of gold plating around the microphone too.

they should just split the party and be done with it

I really want Kevin Andrews to be leader, it's difficult to think of someone simultaneously so evil and so uncharismatic. It shouldn't be possible to describe someone as "like Ruddick but with a personality bypass."

Duelling Kevins. Feel the charisma.

Kevin Andrews so crappy on 7.30 Report last night. "Malcolm should embrace everyone in the party, whatever their view" over and over again. Difficult to see what this means practically apart from Malcolm folding and agreeing with the Minchin Crew.

So five lib frontbenchers have resigned, and I'm completely confused now. Which'll learn me for not bothering with political news. Its oer the emissions trading scheme - were the resginees aganist there being one at all, or did they want it more tough, or..? (Im assuming the former but god knows)

Basically the resignees/anti-Malcolm faction are a coalition of two only slightly different position - the hardliners who are all "no ETS no way no how", and then recalcitrants who want to wait until after Copenhagen before agreeing to an ETS (as if Copenhagen will make a difference one way or another). Either way they think agreeing to ETS now is a disaster.

At least some of it is a more generalised, inchoate protest vote against Malcolm Turnbull emphasising the Liberal Party's liberalism at the expense of its conservatism.

So what's happening now.

joe hockey going to push for leadership takeover tomorrow

You people have funny names down there.

Your names are funnier. You people have names like Preston Schifflebein, Faith Popcorn, and Rudi Dangler.

America is just wonderful that way! :-D

Yeah but we have Abbott and Costello! :D

Or er... we did, until this week.

wish i could find the offending paragraph on abbott & costello that got removed from bob ellis' book

about one changing political persuation after banging the other's then-girlfriend

ABBBOTTTTTT

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

Oh FUCK NO. WAAHHT. Stupid little head-bigeared bastard!

http://i45.tinypic.com/23rtmw3.jpg

As one of my friends just posted elsewhere "liberals elect blow up doll as new leader"

He'll be at least as effective as William Hague wa...wait a minute.

Anyway our Abbott would do a much better job than yours so let's send her over so she can tell the Liberals to go away and usher in better times.

Huzzah! I'd vote that.

Holy shit. This is madness. Ah well, why worry, it's not as though I want the Liberals to get back in. Crazy-arse fascist numbnuts that they are.

From http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/01/2757994.htm

Then there's Tony Abbott - the great 'People Skills' himself, whose defiance of political orthodoxy is beginning to rival Mr Turnbull's own.

What other leadership candidate would have had the magnificence, on Sunday, to ignore not just one, and not even two, but three central tenets of the political picture opportunity?

"Don't wear silly hats" has been defied before.

"Don't wear budgie smugglers" has also been defied, though with tragic results for the former NSW Liberal leader Peter Debnam, whose photoshoot in the briefest of swimming costumes heralded his imminent failure at the polls in 2007.

"If you have an extremely hairy back, for God's sake keep your shirt on" is not so much an accepted political maxim as an article of common sense, but it is sage advice nonetheless.

And yet: There was People Skills on Sunday, prancing about in the shallows wearing naught but a scrap of lycra, a lifesaver's cap and a fascinatingly goatish pelt.

Countdown to media revival of abortion debate with new liberal leader Abbott, in 3...2...

Oh god no, aaargh.

I am enjoying the fun ride that is Barnaby Joyce: Shadow Finance Minister with policy ripped straight from the LaR0uche krew.

^ congrats on not c+p'ing T. Martin's tweet about Joyce

As if I'd steal T. Martin's work and use it on ILX.

Meanwhile, I am perplexed by my cousin's choice of Facebook groups. First she signs up to the group "No Kevin By 2011" and five minutes later she has become a fan of Bob Hawke. I...don't get it.

i met bob hawke in a bar last year

he was v orange

Are you sure it wasn't some drunk tanned bloke going "aaaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhhh"?

^remind me to show you my hawke impression

Can't be as good as my Hawke impression. It isn't next-level like my Howard impression, through.

what amateur hour horrors have you wrought with your reminiscing, jabba hands.

good thing i didn't mention the time i met the goatse guy tbh

Rudd out?

well this could be intersting

hmm

I so didn't believe this was going to happen.

I've completely missed all the hoo-haa tbh, work's been the worst busy ever in my life. Is this kind of ousting/coup really rare and unusual? Is this like what happened to whitlam? im shit at politics

no this is more like hawkey/keating

this is the third leadership spill we've had in the last year, pollies be forgetting how to be a party

i hope the sex party doesn't have a spill

Haw.

Well done, Ozmalia.

i kinda feel a little bad for the dude tho

Liberal candidate punched in face over asylum policy

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/07/18/2956861.htm

GAME ON

fuck wrong thread