unfunniest "comedians"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cambridgeshire/stage/2003/07/images/comedy_vine_150.jpg

I was born and bread in a bakery... and raised in an oven.

I live in a teapot... I know what you're thinking: pour me.

Handel was my favourite musician, but then he joined up with Hinge and Bracket to form The Doors.

He said “I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.” I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books."

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said, "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.”

So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said, “I want to buy an ice-cream.” He said, "Hundreds & Thousands?” I said, “We'll start with one.” He said, “Knickerbocker-glory?” I said, “I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.”

So I went to the dentist. He said, "Say, ‘Aaah.’" I said, "Why?" He said, "My dog's died.”

Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought, “This is unusual.” And the dentist said to me, “Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.”

So I rang up a local building firm, I said, “I want a skip outside my house.” He said, “I'm not stopping you.”

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said, “You've been promoted.” And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said, "You've been promoted again.” And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said, “You're managing director.” And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said, “What happened to you?” And I said, “I careered off the road.”

For his "One Day as a White Man" sketch on SNL alone, Eddie = classic x1000.

I got them here, so, um, possibly?

*

Surely Ben Elton has his moments: Blackadder, The Thin Blue Line? And leave Victoria Wood alone, if only because of her Alternative Tango.

Maybe Baby (2000) (novel Inconceivable)

Blackadder Back & Forth (1999) (television series Blackadder II, Blackadder the Third, Blackadder Goes Forth)
"Ben Elton Show, The" (1998) TV Series
Ben Elton Live (1997) (V)
Best Bits of Mr. Bean, The (1997) (V)
"Thin Blue Line, The" (1995) TV Series
Stark (1993) (TV) (also novel)
Rowan Atkinson Live (1992) (TV)
... aka Rowan Atkinson on Location in Boston (1992) (TV)
... aka Rowan Atkinson: Not Just a Pretty Face (1992) (TV) (USA)
"Ben Elton: The Man from Auntie" (1990) TV Series
... aka "Man from Auntie, The" (1994) (UK: new title)
Last Laugh, The (1990) (TV)

"Mr. Bean" (1989) TV Series
"Blackadder Goes Forth" (1989) TV Series
Blackadder's Christmas Carol (1988) (TV)
"Friday Night Live" (1988) TV Series
Blackadder: The Cavalier Years (1988) (TV)
"Blackadder the Third" (1987) TV Series
... aka "Blackadder 3" (1987) (UK)
... aka "Blackadder III" (1987) (USA: video title)
"Filthy Rich & Catflap" (1987) TV Series
"Saturday Live" (1986) TV Series
"Lenny Henry Tonite" (1986) TV Series
Comic Relief (1986/II) (TV)
... aka Utterly Utterly Rude Video Live, The (1986) (TV) (UK: video title)
"Blackadder II" (1986) TV Series
... aka "Black-Adder II" (1986)
"Happy Families" (1985) TV Series (writer)
"Spitting Image" (1984) TV Series (writer)
"Black Adder, The" (1983) TV Series (writer)
... aka "Blackadder" (1983)
"Alfresco" (1983) TV Series (head writer)
"Young Ones, The" (1982) TV Series

It's surprising how many there are, when you come to think of it.

i'll vote for poor Richard Blackwood again

Ricahrd Blackwood is more a presenter than a comedian per se. He hasn't been on telly this century, has he?

The Thin Blue Line was absolutely devoid of redeeming features.

Pah! What’s the difference between the manager of Barclays having a fight, and Fred Nerk?... One’s a warring banker, and the other’s a boring…

The Thin Blue Line is practically perfect in everyway --

Rowan Atkinson: I’m not sure about you, darling, but I had lots of fun last night: Flatulation on top of fornication…

It was the best Scrabble score I’ve ever had!

Jackie Mason wins this one hands-down. plus he's a miserable sack of shit.

For me, it's amazing how Tom Green can veer from abdomen
crampingly funny to desperately unfunny - from one sketch to
the next.

Blueberry Head is even worse.

are you saying camp like effeminate? Because I can kind of see that too.

heh ok i must just not be seeing it. the harry connick jr of standups i could see, maybe

xp yeah id have said it was a standout part of his style tbh?

Adding to the chorus of Ali Wong love.

Can't stand Bill Burr. There's a clip of him talking shit about Yoko that occasionally pops up in my fb feed, and apart from being the laziest and hackiest shit imaginable, it's deeply misogynistic (he says some shit about, "Lennon, control your woman!"). So fuck that guy.

Now I am looking up the difference between mid-atlantic, transatlantic and continental accents. All kind of the same.

poll/thread lets get into it

we're funnier than stand up comedians anyway

Got really tired of Stewart Lee seeing how long his fans would tolerate him milking each joke. I know pretending to be smug is part of his act but I still get the impression he thinks his material is way smarter than it is.

I still quite like him and his best stuff is fantastic but never feel like seeing his new stuff.

Britsh guys: James Acaster, Simon Munnery, Sean Lock are still great, or at least last time I checked.

i found a good comedian yesterday, mark norman

we're funnier than stand up comedians anyway

― topical mlady (darraghmac), Wednesday, January 9, 2019 3:23 PM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hey man, speak for yourself.

via vic berger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPcdpdF18dw

brad stine is one of those 'comedians' where it becomes 'funny' if you yell a lot. this same problem plagues many improv teams

this is a classic, he spends half of it screaming at a 16 year old because their parents made them wear a helmet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUdco-_bBeI

god he just tells all the same jokes over and over over decades. what a grifter

the "new yorker magazine" issue where he was called god's comedian was from 2004: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2004/08/09/standup-for-the-lord

jeez he's walking around so fast in that cpac clip it makes me uncomfortable

I just read this whole thread thinking Stewart Lee was Stewart Francis and wondering how he elicited such strong opinions.

I mean, he's no Milton Jones...

But he can crush a Grape.

Geoff Norcott is such a mediocre unfunny cunt and he keeps popping up on QT now because of course the bbc love his "I'm a tory voting bigot comedian - not a lefty, deal with it!" shtick. ppl who think comedy is a bastion of leftyism + trots are as laughably misguided as those saying the bbc is.

i think it's important that the BBC gives air time to mediocre unfunny cunts from all parts of the right wing spectrum

Comedian John Bishop sells mansion to HS2 for £6.8m

The comedian brought it for £2.25m in 2013 - meaning he has made a £4.5m profit from the deal.

another for the list.

I have seen literally 3 seconds of his act. I was channel flipping on the TV one evening something like ten years ago, when I alighted on his standup act. He said "Why are goths always so miserable?". I thought "fuck you, you unfunny wanker" and flipped the channel.

oh yeah, he goes on the unfunny comedians list as well!

The Grade II listed Georgian mansion comes with 28 acres of land and is described by Historic England as late 18th Century with French windows and entrance hall, a chandelier and ornate fireplace.

hahaha.
I mean throw all the hate you want at the unfunny man (and he is truly dire), but singling out a chandelier and fireplace is next level barrel scraping, not to mention the place has a f*cking 'entrance hall'.

an entrance hall could mean looking right at the stairs from the front door or anything up to a fucking warehouse sized thing tho! I presume in a £2 - 6 m valued prop it's more likely towards the latter.

Good lawd, Brad Stine is literally the worst. Come back Gallagher and Carrot Top, all is forgiven.

I honestly don't understand the Frankie Boyle hatred. When he rips on the audience, it's understood he's going to do that (though he doesn't seem to be doing it that much these days) and it seems like an honor to be roasted by him. He reminds me of Don Rickles in that way. I love Boyle; he's my favorite comedian of all time. He "crosses the line twice", to quote a common trope, and I'm here for it.

John Bishop maintains his opposition to HS2.

And yet he's made £4.5M from it.

He is unhappy, like many others affected by the proximity of the proposed line, that he was left with no choice but to sell his family home to HS2.

This family home, this ancestral seat of the Bishop clan that he's lived in for six years. Also it's 150 metres from where the proposed line will be. One hundred and fifty metres. My family used to live in a terraced house that backed onto one of the main railway lines going into London. Seriously, fuck this guy.

The proposed line had rendered it unsellable on the open market - thus destroying all he and his family had worked for.

Except it hasn't 'destroyed' anything because he's made a considerable profit from the sale and can go and buy another mansion somewhere else. Presumably not 'near' (150 metres!) a proposed railway line.

Good lawd, Brad Stine is literally the worst. Come back Gallagher and Carrot Top, all is forgiven.

I honestly don't understand the Frankie Boyle hatred. When he rips on the audience, it's understood he's going to do that (though he doesn't seem to be doing it that much these days) and it seems like an honor to be roasted by him. He reminds me of Don Rickles in that way. I love Boyle; he's my favorite comedian of all time. He "crosses the line twice", to quote a common trope, and I'm here for it.

― The Colour of Spring (deethelurker), Sunday, April 7, 2019 10:53 AM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Was watching a frankie boyle special from about ten years ago recently and his crowd work had him say that 3 different men looked gay or "a bit camp to be at one of my shows".

Which, forget call-out culture here, is just not very creative

Perhaps he figured that would be the audience members he was directing those words toward would consider that the most humiliating thing to be called? He strikes me as far too left-wing to be genuinely homophobic.

You think left wing people can't be homophobic?

If he actually is left wing or that's just another aspect of his act.

last year he did a Jezza is an anti-semite rant in one of his shows that shows why he still gets work with the bbc despite being *so controversial*. Maybe if Jerry Sadowitz had ripped into the LOTO he'd have got a beeb show as well. Rather than disappearing into obscurity, despite having more talent in his left toe than what that cunt has in his whole body!

the Vic Berger edit of the Brad Stine set is incredible

http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=xhXPzFG6b3M

the homophobia in some of Boyle's past sets - and not even that long ago - is utterly indefensible and because of it i can't really enjoy him, even when he's being otherwise funny or right-on about something else. he has never apologized for any of it as far as I'm aware.

stine's a piece of work. reminds me of the mitchum line when he was asked about scripts he's turned down.

I turned down 'Patton' and I turned down 'Dirty Harry.' Movies that piss on the world. If I've got $5 in my pocket, I don't need to make money that fucking way, daddy.

just saw the Brad Stine CPAC clip, this dude is on the same diet pills Trump is on, all this pacing and shouting

boyle is one-paced and even when he constructs a real filthy zinger i find its a pace i dont like

im not in any way convinced his comic persona or his public persona is indicative of any deeply held beliefs other than what gets him the attn he likes but thats obv irrelevant

i cant even dignify (hignify?) the post that lauds a diet rik mayall like acaster but mildly shades s lee

when the people's court are sending bbc execs to isle of man gulag, whoever was responsible for cancelling stewart lee's comedy vehicle should get the death sentence.

xp. i think it's reasonable to assume that his persona reflects his genuine feelings. a working class celtic supporter from glasgow who hates the tories and is anti-austerity, is pro-palestine, supports scottish independence, and is homophobic. not a rare combo in the wild

... and thinks he's a comedian. Bingo.

Kumail Nanjiani

a lot of contemporary alt-comedy is 💩

i see ive already criticized hari kondabolu itt

what is a good brit comedian is that a thing

tony hancock, sid james, kenneth williams, kenny everett .. it all goes to shit after them.

Larry Grayson, of course.

dave allen

... British >:(

😎😎😎

when the people's court are sending bbc execs to isle of man gulag, whoever was responsible for cancelling stewart lee's comedy vehicle should get the death sentence.

― calzino

alan tew better fucking still be doing the theme, that's all i'm saying