things the record store clerk hates to hear

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"They're all mint."

"Do they need to have the original covers?"

"Just take 'em all and give me $20."

"They're just dusty."

"Only $x.00?! These are antiques!"

"You don't want Barbra Streisand??!?!"

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 11 January 2013 00:40 (six years ago) Permalink

"You charge tax?!"

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 11 January 2013 00:40 (six years ago) Permalink

"Can you give me a discount since I'm buying a lot?" (guy with stack of 6 $3 LPs)

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 11 January 2013 00:42 (six years ago) Permalink

"They still make these?"

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 11 January 2013 00:42 (six years ago) Permalink

"Why are some beatles records worth a lot of money but not these trashed up beatles records i had when i was a kid?"

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 11 January 2013 00:57 (six years ago) Permalink

i love your fAQ

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 11 January 2013 01:32 (six years ago) Permalink

my pal bob in philly used to hate when he would ask people on the phone what kinds of records they had and they would say: "oh ALL kinds. you know, sinatra, elvis..."

scott seward, Friday, 11 January 2013 01:35 (six years ago) Permalink

oh man, i get that too, ALL THE TIME. drives me crazy. nearly every phone call about records for sale.

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 11 January 2013 01:49 (six years ago) Permalink

the worst is the condescending look you get when you tell people their load of moldy records is worthless.

brimstead, Friday, 11 January 2013 02:04 (six years ago) Permalink

and then they say "oh well maybe i'll just put them on ebay..."

like i'm losing the deal of a lifetime and don't know how much those moldy gems are REALLY worth.

scott seward, Friday, 11 January 2013 02:09 (six years ago) Permalink

"Can hold these another week for me?"

brimstead, Friday, 11 January 2013 02:13 (six years ago) Permalink

^^depends on the customer, actually.

brimstead, Friday, 11 January 2013 02:14 (six years ago) Permalink

Corollary to the eBay one: "I saw this goes for $100 on eBay..." Trying to talk people down off of that one is always fun, they never understand that a Buy It Now is not the price they're going to get from us. Which they, of course, expect to be $100. Because we don't need to make a profit.

"Can you give me a discount since I'm buying a lot?" (guy with stack of 6 $3 LPs)

Oh, jesus, yes. I'm close to just tapping the "NO DISCOUNTS" sign. And god forbid anyone sees you giving a discount to a regular customer who's buying a foot-high stack of LPs, or a Japanese reseller who's buying $500 worth of easy listening albums...

Yo Leon, what's this all about? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 14 January 2013 00:51 (six years ago) Permalink

I'm getting sick of "so how do those new Beatles reissues sound?" I don't know, man. And I'm not going to spend hundreds of dollars to find out.

Yo Leon, what's this all about? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 14 January 2013 00:51 (six years ago) Permalink

"man down the street offered me <higher figure> for these just yesterday!"

NINO CARTER, Monday, 14 January 2013 00:52 (six years ago) Permalink

i'm still kind of mad at the guy who had me come to his house two towns over because he supposedly wanted to sell his records but actually just wanted me to pick out the best stuff so he would know what it was. he could have just told me that he wanted to know what they were worth. i still probably would have gone over there. he said he would call me in a couple of days and i never heard from him. rude. he actually said to me: so these that you want are the most valuable, right? jerky hippy accountant. i did want his 45s that he had in dirty tubs in his garage. just to save them from his dirty garage. he had some nice stuff in there. getting wrecked by the elements.

that's just more of a general complaint though. not a dumb thing that people say thing.

scott seward, Monday, 14 January 2013 01:36 (six years ago) Permalink

I see that all the time. The attempt at a free appraisal thing.

Yo Leon, what's this all about? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 14 January 2013 04:16 (six years ago) Permalink

and i don't mind doing it for free if people just want to know the price of stuff! i like to be neighborly.

scott seward, Monday, 14 January 2013 04:25 (six years ago) Permalink

i'm probably just mad cuz i wanted his 45s. he's not playing them. poor records. all heaped together in a dirty tub with no sleeves. he had some cool shit. 60's soul. some clean. tiny label stuff. i would have loved them...for a little while. then i would have sold them. but at least they would be safe and sound in england or japan.

scott seward, Monday, 14 January 2013 04:30 (six years ago) Permalink

honestly, you have to get good records out of the hands of savage americans. they end up destroying everything.

scott seward, Monday, 14 January 2013 04:31 (six years ago) Permalink

Truth! It amazes me how poorly people treat vinyl, especially 45s. The filthy crate full of a 50-50 mix of dead bugs and unsleeved records that was kept in an exposed garden shed for twenty years is starting to haunt my dreams.

Yo Leon, what's this all about? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 14 January 2013 05:10 (six years ago) Permalink

i love 45s. i don't really collect them much but they make my week sometimes. i just bought beautiful 45s. factory sleeve first pressing 50's stuff. so pretty. most of them had barely been played. they look new. so fun to play. or just look at. pristine crickets 45s are a thing of beauty.

scott seward, Monday, 14 January 2013 05:27 (six years ago) Permalink

60's stuff too. here's a 60's one. they all look like this pretty much. hundreds of them. someone must have worked at a record store in the 50's and 60's. these weren't really kept to be played. they were separated by record label. (sun 45s by jerry lee and johnny but no elvis. a couple of beautiful sun jerry lee picture sleeves though.)

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/24451_10152012012192137_393781840_n.jpg

scott seward, Monday, 14 January 2013 05:32 (six years ago) Permalink

whenever i'm selling records i hate to see the guy who brings in six boxes of records and they take maybe two and explain that the rest are, for whatever reason, nothing they're interested in. half the time the people are polite and cool w/it albeit maybe a little surprised, the other half try to debate. ime as a customer, at least.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 14 January 2013 20:01 (six years ago) Permalink

it can be frustrating when someone essentially wants you to pay them to take trash off their hands. moldy records, unplayable scratched records, records missing jackets...

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Monday, 14 January 2013 20:24 (six years ago) Permalink

i really think i have begun to resent having to deal with people who are really aggressive.

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Monday, 14 January 2013 20:24 (six years ago) Permalink

Corollary to the eBay one: "I saw this goes for $100 on eBay..." Trying to talk people down off of that one is always fun, they never understand that a Buy It Now is not the price they're going to get from us. Which they, of course, expect to be $100. Because we don't need to make a profit.

― Yo Leon, what's this all about? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ)

This was every day for me in the sense that even amazon listings were cited as "what it's worth" when it isn't understood that the item rarely also sells for that price. Also that it is assumed we'd pay 80% of that current price when: it isn't likely to sell for that now, may not be listed at that price tomorrow, the copy they've brought is nowhere near the condition necessary to warrant the imaginary price, and mostly likely of all isn't mono/promo/pressing/original/sealed or whatever else needs to match.

Evan, Monday, 14 January 2013 22:01 (six years ago) Permalink

Speaking of which... Lady left a message today trying to get rid of her parents' records. Pop vocal, Hawaiian music (I'm guessing nothing outrageously awesome), Broadway shows, easy listening. "I looked them up online and I saw they usually go for $5 each, one of them was on sale for $16.99. I'm looking for $100 for the box of 60, including the $16.99 album, which was... Engelbert... Humper? Dinck?"

Yo Leon, what's this all about? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 18 January 2013 05:48 (six years ago) Permalink

it can be frustrating when someone essentially wants you to pay them to take trash off their hands. moldy records, unplayable scratched records, records missing jackets...

yeah this x100. I also hated when customers would bring in disgusting moldy boxes that had records/tapes/vhs/underwear in them. At least clean that shit up, goddam.

brimstead, Friday, 18 January 2013 05:53 (six years ago) Permalink

One of the managers at my local store told me a horrible story about getting sick for a week when he made the mistake of starting to sort through a box of super moldy records that somebody had brought in. They were in the back of their car and he paused for a moment before doing it to reconsider, but went ahead - and the cloud of mold and cat dander enveloped him immediately. He knew right away that he was screwed.

sleeve, Friday, 18 January 2013 06:07 (six years ago) Permalink

Ugh. Hate that shit. Got a box of mildly peed upon (by a cat, I think) records recently that we passed up.

Oh, yeah, my boss bought a box of CDs from a guy once... dude had always brought in tons of dubious CDs, smelled like dumpster juice or were filthy, with scratched or missing discs. This batch was actually ok on the surface. So I'm switching out broken cases and weeding out discs when something falls out of a booklet. Bedbug. Dead bedbug, thankfully, but there was one or two in most of the CDs, along with some dead German cockroaches. Double bagged that shit up tight, told my boss he could deal with it.

Yo Leon, what's this all about? (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 18 January 2013 09:51 (six years ago) Permalink

Yeah a guy brought in dvds to our place once. All were in fine shape, but as I was checking condition of the discs to evaluate a price for the guy I suddenly noticed (without him knowing) a little bedbug running around on the counter. I shined a light on it, confirmed it was actually a bedbug, and smashed it with the dvd case I happened to be holding. The seller gave them to us for very little and I just immediately bagged them and trashed it all.

Evan, Friday, 18 January 2013 18:12 (six years ago) Permalink

The stuff is just instantly a biohazard and any area that came into contact with it I meticulously would study for the rest of the day. No thanks.

Evan, Friday, 18 January 2013 18:15 (six years ago) Permalink

we have rubber gloves and dust masks and stuff, initially purchased years ago upon realizing we were entering into the home of a true hoarder (who was dead in his home for a while before he was found.)

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 18 January 2013 20:19 (six years ago) Permalink

i got mold in my veins.

scott seward, Friday, 18 January 2013 20:56 (six years ago) Permalink

"get a real job"

space phwoar (Hurting 2), Friday, 18 January 2013 21:03 (six years ago) Permalink

i don't mind being told to get a real job, as long as it's not by people still paying off their law school. ;)

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, 18 January 2013 22:41 (six years ago) Permalink

haw

space phwoar (Hurting 2), Friday, 18 January 2013 22:42 (six years ago) Permalink

"they're not all in the right jackets..."

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Sunday, 27 January 2013 00:20 (six years ago) Permalink

this fuckin guy
called a bout six times.
i tried to tell him not to come, because he was telling me things like frank sinatra, kenny rogers, laura branigan... but he was all like "well i gots lots and different things.." and i was like "i'll take a look, but i can't promise anything. and they all have to be in good shape if we're gonna buy em.." so he shows up, records in the wrong sleeves, records in no sleeves, some moldy or water damaged, nearly everything beat to hell. ugh. i hate my job. he was so indignant that we did not want to buy any of them. he wanted us to "work with him." and "shit man it took me an hour to get over here from bedfor stuyvesant.." but i'm sorry i do not run a charity here.

i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Sunday, 27 January 2013 00:27 (six years ago) Permalink

as noted on facebook this is one of the first things i heard this morning:

"I hope you stay in business for awhile. I can keep coming in to get the stuff that makes me not as depressed."

scott seward, Sunday, 27 January 2013 01:05 (six years ago) Permalink

this from a local hoarder. but i guess it belongs on the things that people say that make you a little sad thread if there is one.

scott seward, Sunday, 27 January 2013 01:06 (six years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

"You charge tax?!"

Seriously, this shit. So many asshole libertarians around here who make sales tax their crusade. Got an indignant "Well... I figured we could work out some kind of private sale and not worry about sales tax" today. On a $14 purchase.

benedict crumbsnatcher (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 19 May 2013 09:41 (five years ago) Permalink

this fuckin guy
called a bout six times.
i tried to tell him not to come, because he was telling me things like frank sinatra, kenny rogers, laura branigan... but he was all like "well i gots lots and different things.." and i was like "i'll take a look, but i can't promise anything. and they all have to be in good shape if we're gonna buy em.." so he shows up, records in the wrong sleeves, records in no sleeves, some moldy or water damaged, nearly everything beat to hell. ugh. i hate my job. he was so indignant that we did not want to buy any of them. he wanted us to "work with him." and "shit man it took me an hour to get over here from bedfor stuyvesant.." but i'm sorry i do not run a charity here.

― i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Saturday, January 26, 2013 4:27 PM (3 months ago)

guessing this was the thing that made you quit? straw, camel, etc.

fuckin HATE that tax shit, I deal with it in my job too. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "real patriots pay their taxes" and sometimes I just wanna repeat that to people. Or go off on the "Oh, you don't wanna pay tax? cool, just stay off the interstate and don't use the utilities" line. But instead I just say "sorry, we can't do that".

Flat Of NAGLs (sleeve), Sunday, 19 May 2013 15:59 (five years ago) Permalink

i feel like there are a lot of parallels between things the record store clerk hears and things the community college english teacher hears. people who do not value the thing that they're selling, but expect you to value it.
papers written poorly and hastily, unformatted, unresearched = but why did i fail? i did the work!

sigh.

free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Sunday, 19 May 2013 16:22 (five years ago) Permalink

fortunately, not all customers/students are like that but the ones that are are so exhausting!

free your spirit pig (La Lechera), Sunday, 19 May 2013 16:22 (five years ago) Permalink

I can't get over the US thing of quoting sales tax separately.

Like, there was some way some people might not have to pay it

At least over here, even if the rate is higher, it's included in the display price

Mark G, Tuesday, 28 May 2013 06:25 (five years ago) Permalink

when i was in nyc a few weeks ago i was buying some postcards and the guy added the sales tax and i said something like "oh i keep forgetting about the tax" and the guy said "how do you think we pay for all these wars buddy?" :-)

Ward Fowler, Tuesday, 28 May 2013 07:56 (five years ago) Permalink

Yeah, the invisibility of sales tax has pissed me off my whole life.

how's life, Tuesday, 28 May 2013 09:42 (five years ago) Permalink

that sales tax thing kind of weirded me out on my first trip to the US last year.

What was really strange was that out of the 30 or used record stores i visited to - quite a number didn't add any on for sales tax...

Stop the tape I got spittle all over my moustache. (Talcum Mucker), Tuesday, 28 May 2013 11:50 (five years ago) Permalink

seven months pass...

"Hey, where are your Led Zeppelin records?! I looked in Z and they're not there."

It's not just that people don't understand alphabetization anymore, it's that I'm going to spend thirty minutes walking them around the store to every single artist because they don't understand that band names and individual artists are filed according to different rules. Like a phone book, which I guess nobody uses anymore anyway.

barranca jagger (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 19 January 2014 00:48 (five years ago) Permalink

Also, tired of having to explain why some records cost more than other records. "Why is this copy of Power Windows $8 and this copy of Exit Stage Left is only $5?! Why can't they both be $5?"

barranca jagger (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 19 January 2014 03:21 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm going to try that at the grocery store.

Evan, Sunday, 19 January 2014 12:50 (five years ago) Permalink

Things the record store clerk hates to smell:

- stale odor of cigarette smoke that you can practically see drifting off of someone's clothes. like they smoked themselves into a state of mummification in a tiny, windowless room.

- mildew, mold, etc. obviously.

- unwashed bodies of bearded oldsters who want to get as close to as possible while they yell their entire record collection/concert attendance record into your face with coffee/egg/cancer breath.

atom bomb, vietnam, missiles on the moon (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 2 February 2014 00:41 (five years ago) Permalink

- body spray. fucking body spray.

atom bomb, vietnam, missiles on the moon (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 2 February 2014 00:41 (five years ago) Permalink

ten months pass...

I hate to SEE dudes with Leftover Crack patches. Assholes, all of them, and totally fucking rude about everything. They'll just start opening boxes and pawing through equipment that is not only not for sale but is hidden behind other boxes.

GUARD YOUR EARS!!! ...with Gorman's. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 30 December 2014 21:51 (four years ago) Permalink

"It says "Pay no more than £4.99" on this sticker!"

Mark G, Friday, 2 January 2015 13:45 (four years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

"I collect soundtracks"

Don't know why but dudes that collect soundtracks are the worrrssstttt

On this timescale, all matter is liquid. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 17 June 2016 00:14 (two years ago) Permalink

They're all just looking for that fucking Caine Mutiny soundtrack in the end.

On this timescale, all matter is liquid. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 17 June 2016 00:16 (two years ago) Permalink

That reminds of a time decades ago I was at the New Public Library for the Performing Arts, when LPs were still the main way of listening to music. I was waiting for a turntable to free up and I overheard a bizarre conversation from some fellows who clearly had some issues. One guy was saying to another "You're not going to kill anyone. If anyone is going to be killed it is going to be you, not me." (!) Clearly one or both of these gentlemen was hearing voices and either attributing them to the other or verbalizing them. A security guard soon saw fit to intervene by saying "If you want to beef, beef outside, beef outside." While this was going on, I peeked at what one of the guys was listening to and it was the Coma soundtrack, which piece of information sent a chill up my spine.

Cry for a Shadow Blaster (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 17 June 2016 00:22 (two years ago) Permalink

But perhaps this is a different angle on the whole matter.

Cry for a Shadow Blaster (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 17 June 2016 00:24 (two years ago) Permalink

lol
Thanks to this thread I'm never setting foot in a used record store again
Though I guess used book stores are a very similar scene

calstars, Friday, 17 June 2016 01:44 (two years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Look, motherfucker, you can either be cheap or an audiophile

The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 3 December 2017 02:09 (one year ago) Permalink

“You make $10 an hour and your air of unearned superiority is all you have to cling to in your sad life”

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Sunday, 3 December 2017 13:10 (one year ago) Permalink

“Aaand a pack of gum”

infinity (∞), Sunday, 3 December 2017 13:42 (one year ago) Permalink

"You make $10 an hour but you should make more money, also you intimidate me"

brimstead, Sunday, 3 December 2017 20:22 (one year ago) Permalink


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